UPJOKE
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Introduced a friend of mine to minimalism

It was the least I could do.

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine.

Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

A friend of mine drinks a bottle of brake fluid a day.

He says he's not addicted and can stop any time.

A friend of mine asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine ?

I said, "Ooh, about 15 minutes."

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My ex was addicted to dick. just not mine

I guess micro-dosing just wasn't doing it for her after a while

Be careful who you buy drugs from. It might be laced. Mine was.

I found marijuana in my cocaine.

A friend of mine said, “Wow! Your wife and your daughter look like twins.”

I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”

The cop asked, "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?"

The miner replied, "Mine."

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town...

After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel. The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager: 'Go upto the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the differ...

I’m giving up on these electric toothbrushes. Mine goes through 2 batteries a week and always starts to smell like fish.

On an unrelated side note, my girlfriend has been in a good mood lately.

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Not mine but really made me laugh

I visited Australia this summer, l saw a a guy fucking a kangaroo and a one legged man jacking off in a bar.
I asked the bartender, what's wrong with this place?
He said "What do you mean what's wrong with this place?
I said "On the way over here I saw a guy fucking a kangaroo and that one ...

A friend of mine cut off the tip of ants feet and attached stilts to their legs.

Now he has lack toes and taller ants...

A friend of mine just saw a documentary on the Chernobyl disaster..

He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980’s and was able to count at least 8 inaccuracies on one hand

One day, I showed my art teacher an artwork of mine and asked her, “Do you think I can have a career in art?”

She looked at my artwork for a few minutes. To my delight, she told me, “Well… You have potential as a drawer.”

I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filled with tears. "Great!" I said.

"Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"

A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing

He said he liked shooting fish in apparel

A Farmer and the Interviewer

Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?

Farmer: Which one, black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: 2 liters per day.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: 2 liters per day.



Interviewer: Where do they sleep?
...

Three pregnant women are chatting in a cafe.

Heather says, "I got my ultrasound done yesterday. I'm pregnant with triplets!"

"I got mine done yesterday too," says Linda. "I'm pregnant with septuplets!"

"I think I'll get my ultrasound done next week," says Martha.

The three women chat some more. Finally, Heather says, "I go...

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

Abm

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My friend is a stripper, I'm a warehouse associate. She asked how her job is any different than mine if we both use our bodies.

I said "well it's simple really; I grind metal and you grind wood."

A friend of mine is an aviation technician

He's Welsh, called Dai and repairs planes.
One day, he had to do a repair on a broken toilet seat.
It will forever be known as, "Loo seat in the sky which Dai mends"

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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community..

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

A psychologist friend of mine just got a grant to work out how mice communicate

Not much money in it though. He can barely eke out a living.

A journalist friend of mine asked if I wanted to hear the good news or bad news first

Being a pessimist, I chose the bad news.

She said, "Alright, Breitbart and Fox News it is then..."







^(Wasn't sure if anyone's done this joke before but couldn't find anything like it in search function; please don't yell at me if it is a repost)

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A friend of mine got a penis extension the other day

Now his house looks really stupid

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Three men are discussing whose wife is the most stupid.

"Mine bought a kitchen for $10,000 - and she cannot even cook!"

"Yeah, mine bought a car for $20,000 - and she cannot drive!"

"Ah, that's nothing. Mine bought 128 condoms for a business trip - and she does not even have a penis!"

A friend of mine called me and said, “Come out tonight, and I’ll show you a good time.”

Later, he ran the 100 metres in less than 12 seconds.

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A coworker of mine comes up to me

He says, “What’s up man? I have a question for you”

“Ok” I reply

“Imagine you go camping with some other guys. One night you all are doing a lot of drinking. You wake up in the morning with your pants down to your ankles and Vaseline in your butthole. Would you tell any body about tha...

A friend of mine went bald years ago

But he still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it.

A friend of mine who works as a road repairer was recently accused of theft.

None of us believed it was true, but when I went to see him at his house, all the signs were there!

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Wife dreamed that she was attending a dick auction

Wife : "I dreamed they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."

Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife : "They gave those away."

Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamed they were auctioning off vaginas. Th...

A priest begins to wonder if his religion is really the only ‘true’ religion. In his search he finds an Internet forum with like mined faith/spiritual seekers, and quickly befriends a Jewish Rabbi, and a Buddhist monk.

The three debate for months, with no real progression as such, until a post appears from a new user, claiming to be the purest, living descendant of Adam & Eve. He further claims, that to those who truly believe, he will grant the secret to human evolution.
All but the monk immediately dismi...

Saw a kid riding a bike that looked the same as mine in my neighborhood

I freaked out and went to my garage. Luckily he was still there; chained up and begging for food.

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old.".

Well . . . you'll love this story..

from a lady called Claire

"My name is Claire..
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his degree on the wall, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark...

I just invented a way of powering the earth off of toddlers

Mine produces about 1000 what are's every day.

I threw a surprise bukkake party for a girl friend of mine.

Everybody came. You should have seen her face.

Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there.

He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal, and the shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look.

One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO:
"What do you think of the stock market situation?"

The CEO arrogantly asks him:
"Why are you so interested in this...

A friend of mine is newly single

I wished him thots and prayers

A buddy of mine has a wife in a coma but he refuses to call her a vegetable...

...he refers to her as his brussel spouse.

blonde tried to sell her old car... She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250 000 miles. One day she told her problem to a friend she worked with. The friend told her,

“OK,” said the friend. “Here’s the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it shouldn’t be a problem selling your car.”






The following weekend, the blonde made the trip t...

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People who say ‘I can hit my kids because they’re MINE’ are literally the worst, most disgusting, short sighted, hell bound...

selfish people on the planet.


We should all be able to smack your jerk kids.

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Any body got a good go to story when on a date to make them laugh … here s mine .. true story buckle up

So I went on holiday to Benidorm with my mate Paul

Now we’re on the beach , red hot day and I’m laid there getting nicely frazzled with a cold beer in one hand and an iPhone in the other hand ,watching the sun give it its best

Now ,all of a sudden my mate Paul gets up and says
<...

Yo mamma so fat... if she was murdered her chalk outline would be a circle..

I know it's not mine. But just heard it for the first time the other day. Made me smile. What is your favorite yo mamma jokes? Would love to read them

Not a joke but a real incident that happened to an indian acquaintance of mine when he moved to Australia for higher studies..

So he comes out of the airport and gets into the cab.

The Aussie cab driver asked where he is from ?

He replied 'India '.

The cab driver asked ' So did you come to die?'

He froze as it was the times when there were racial attacks by white Aussies on people of indian des...

It's not graverobbing! It's a system of mining grave yards to determine the validity of transactions.

It's a new way of thinking of money! I call it crypt-o-currency.

Clothing optional

I went in for my prostate exam last week. The doctor told me to take off my pants. I asked him where I should put them. “Right there next to mine” was not the answer I wanted to hear.

I got my son a bow & arrow set for his birthday, what does he get me for mine? … a T-shirt with a bullseye on the back.

I get no respect.

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A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend

After having great sex she spent the next hour just rubbing his balls because it was something she just loved to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her

'Why do you love doing that?'

'Because' she replied 'I really miss mine'

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A woman visited an Amazonian tribe on a research trip...

She spent several days taking notes on the lifestyle and habits of the tribe and interviewing their ruler, King Paolo, via an interpreter. As the tribe's land was near several rich gold mines, the king and his people were extremely wealthy.

During the woman's time with him, the king fell hope...

A friend of mine is a veterinarian. He is also a taxidermist...

A friend of mine is a veterinarian.

He is also a taxidermist.

He has a sign on the side of his car that reads, “Either way, you get your dog back.”

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Hitler dies and meets god

God: You lead a terrible life. You slaughtered millions of people. You deserve to go to the darkest pits of hell.

Hitler: Okay, but can you just honor a wish of mine before I go to hell?

God: What's the wish?

Hitler: I want you to send the hero who killed me, to heaven.

I used to work at a coal mine

But I left because the bars didn't allow miners

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A Blonde woman is walking two dogs, one White and the other Black.

An Old lady walking down the same street notices them and since it's a breed she's never seen before, she's curious and walks up to the woman. "Wow, these dogs are adorable. What kind are they?". The Blonde smiles and goes "Which one, the white one or the black one?".

The old lady is a little...

I told the cute girl at the grocery store that I wanted to make her mine. Was all smiles and as happy as anything...

For some reason, she got mad when I gave her a pick axe and a helmet with a light on the front.

A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the tomatoes won’t ripen. She goes to her neighbor and says, ”Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?”

Her neighbor replies, ”Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.”

She says Well, ...

A buddy of mine named is dog "5 miles"

Just to say he walked 5 miles.

But today he ran over 5 miles.

A dear friend of mine passed away this week. This was one of his jokes: What do you call half of a thousand native American insomniacs?

The Indian nap-less 500.

New Bull

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't k...

Jim walked into a bar....

Jim, walked into a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the bartender

”Please give me a plate of chicken wings and then give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton, cause when I eat,
I want everyone to eat!”

The bartender complies, by giving Jim a plate of chicken wings and eve...

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People always joke about having a small or a big dick. Mine is a medium.

It can talk to ghosts

I was considering telling a vaccine joke to a right wing coworker of mine

but didn't because he probably wouldn't get it anyways.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife lose interest in having...

Sex. The doctor gives him a flask and warned: "Put only 5 drops in her drink, but no more than 5 understand? Its very strong". In the night, before the wife come home from work, the man make dinner and a couple drinks. He put the 5 drops on her glass but then he thinks: "Was too long since the last ...

A buddy of mine is a railroad engineer. I asked him how many derailments he had

He lost count. It's hard to keep track.

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I'm a hunter, and I shot a deer that was on my neighbor's property.

My neighbor came out at the sound of the gunshot and saw the deer. It was clean kill, and the animal was perfect for venison. As I ran up to retrieve it, my neighbor met me there.

"Hey, this deer is mine" he shouted as I approached him.

"No, it's mine. I killed it!" I responded back.<...

Logic of a Boy:

Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married.

Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?

Boy: Yes… grandma! She said she loves me, I love her, too… and she’s the best cook and story teller in the whole world!

Dad: That’s nice, but we have a small problem there!

Boy: What...

2 wives go on a girls night out

On the way home they both need the toilet, so decide to stop at a graveyard, but they have nothing to wipe with.

The first takes off her panties and uses them, while the other takes a wreath and uses that.

The next day, one of their husbands calls the other and says:

"No more g...

I just found out a friend of mine had their appendix removed...

... so I asked what the surgical team had decided to do with the forward, introduction, contents, glossary and index?

A friend of mine is dating a woman he met during a traffic jam.

"She was in the car ahead of me," he said, "and I accidentally stepped on the gas when I meant to hit the brake."

"Did you rear-end her?" I asked.

"Well, yeah, but not until the third date."

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...

I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."

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A friend of mine has an overly large schlong and will show his erection to anyone for five bucks.

I asked him why and he said he's hard up for cash.

A friend of mine went to take the vaccine for covid yesterday

After getting vaccinated, his vision was blurred and when he reached home, he called the hospital that gave him the vaccine for advice asking if he should be hospitalized.

The hospital told him to come back and collect his glasses

I was in the library one day, when a black friend of mine came in and asked if I knew where the color printer was.

I said "Buddy, it's 2021, you can use any printer you want."

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A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs.

She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.

Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” …. The girl smiled.

At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has grown hair.”
Her sister smiled and said, “Th...

There is an app called Monstr for finding the supernatural date of your dreams

Apparently it came out after the release of the Twilight franchise caused a spike in the popularity of mythical beings as romantic partners.

A friend of mine, I'll call her Bella for privacy, was on the app for a bit and her first match was a Lycanthrope. They went for a long walk and afterw...

I was really worried when I went to prostate exam. My doctor said James you got this, just don’t get hard

Which I said: my name isn’t James.
He said yeah, mine is.

For richer or poorer

I asked my wife if she'd be interested in investing some of her money in stocks, like I invest mine.

She responded: "No, because if you'll get rich, I'll be rich, too."

So I asked her if the reverse is also true. Her response was:

"Sure! If I'll become poor, you'll be poor, too...

Two miners got trapped in a dark tunnel after a mine collapse, blocking their way in, and cutting off the power and lights.

One miner remained calm. He knew that there was other exits from the mine, but in the complete darkness, he had no way to navigate. He remained trapped.

The other miner started panicking. It was so dark, he had a wife and kids at home, he didn’t want to die like this. He was hyperventilating....

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"Hey, what are you gonna do with those crazy crystal rocks??"

Nothing... why don't you mine your own bismuth

Dying request

Rudy was lying on his deathbed surrounded by his stunning young wife and their three children, all boys. Two were tall, good-looking, and athletic, but the third and youngest was short, homely, and extremely uncoordinated…
"Darling," the husband whispered to his wife, struggling to get the words ...

I HATE cutting my nails.

Wife: Why?

Husband: Because then it takes even longer to file them.

Wife: I just put mine in a pile.

Three Irish friends are in their local pub

One of them sighs and says, "lads, I think my wife is cheating on me with an electrician". The other two friends are shocked to hear this. "Why? What makes you think that?", asks one of them. "Well", the first man replies, "I found a pair of wire cutters under the bed, and they're not mine".

...

A buddy of mine asked me to borrow my DVD box set of one of HBO's best shows...

...he came over and The Wire transfer was successful.

A woman was out golfing and hit the ball deep into the woods.

When she went to look for it she found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever ...

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The madam tell her girls ' Just give those guys blow-up dolls.'

'They're so wasted they'll never know the difference'

After when they're walking home the first guy says 'I think mine was dead; She never moved or made a sound the whole time'

The second says 'I think Mine was a witch'

First: 'really whys that?'

Second: ''cause when I bi...

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A friend of mine was on holiday in Damascus, he fell in an open sewer and got stuck

He was in Syria's shit.

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The founding fathers were having a discussion about the originations of their last names

"I wonder if someone in my family ran a laundry business" mused George Washington, "that may be the reason"

"I suppose mine is more boring, at some point there must have been a Jeffer son", said Thomas Jefferson.

"I don't like this game", said John Hancock

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A man goes home after being fired from his job at a chips factory.....

Wife is surprised because the man was employee of the month for 10 months in a row.

She asks "What happened?"

"I got fired for putting my penis in the potato cutter. It's been a dream of mine, and I couldn't resist it anymore", the man replied.

The wife, even more surprised afte...

A genie granted me one wish, so I said "I just want to be happy."

Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.

a man goes into a doctors office for a prostate exam

The patient says "hey doc where should I put my pants?"
The doctor says "ah just put them next to mine"

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One day a group of terrorists took over a small village...

I fully acknowledge I first read this joke on Reddit many years ago. But since I haven't seen it posted in a long time, and it's been one of my favorite jokes, I'll give my best retelling of it-

So one day a group of terrorists took over a small village in the middle east. And being the evi...

Has anyone elses gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?

I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March and I've grown significantly since.

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Having big boobs is overrated

So, I myself have big boobs and I have no idea why people wish they had big boobs so badly. They're so annoying and don't look good and I've even been mocked for the size of my boobs. I wish I had small boobs and would happily exchange mine for smaller boobs, especially since I'm a dude.

A friend of mine who was an officer invited me for a ride along.

As we were driving along he told me: "I've been a cop for almost 20 years now. I can follow anyone, and I mean anyone for just 1 mile down the road and I can find something I can cite them for."

I said prove it, so he started following the next guy he saw. After a mile he said "I can't believ...

Every evening, after they were finished with their work at the diamond mines, on their way home to their cottage, the seven dwarves would stop at a bar.

The bartender knew that the dwarves all liked hazelnut daiquiris, so every time the dwarves arrived at the bar, he would make sure that they all had hazelnut daiquiris.

One afternoon, when the bartender was making the daiquiris, he realized that he only had enough hazelnut extract to make six...

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Assholes are like opinions....

I wish my wife cared more about mine.

A gigantic gas explosion in a coal mine in the next town killed thirty workers and hospitalised two hundred. But I refused to give to the support charity.

After all, it was only miner injuries.

A man goes into a restaurant with his pet snake.

He seats himself at a table, and his snake slithers up onto the seat next to him. Soon, a waitress comes to take his order.

The man declares, "I want 25 hamburgers- two for me and 23 for my pet snake here."

The waitress leaves, and 20 minutes later returns with two plates. On the man'...

A friend of mine called and asked for $500 to pay the rent.

Yesterday a friend called & asked if I could loan her $500 to help her pay her rent. I wanted to be helpful to someone in such need. I told her, let me check my account & l will call you right back. Before I could double check, her sister calls & says, "Don’t give her any money because s...

When I die

I have two requests.

First, I want my remains scattered around Disney World.

Second, I do not want to be cremated.




(not mine)

A friend of mine, a mother of four, refused to have her children vaccinated.

Edit: mother of three... Edit: mother of two... Edit: mother of one...

A man is in an emergency room complaining of severe stomach pains and bowel trouble. The physician says that the patient will need a rectal exam.

The doctor positions the patient on the bed on his side and puts on a latex glove.

As he lubes up his glove, he says, "Don't get excited and move too much like last time, Peter"

The patient says, "My name isn't Peter"

The doctor says, "Mine is"

That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.

How do you know?" the friend asked.
"She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley."
"So?"

"So she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister, Shirley."

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Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee.

The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that.

The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!"
...

Trump says to Pence, "China's mining too many ores"

Pence: What are you going to do?
Trump: Order more tariffs to make them mine less.
Pence: Mine fewer.
Trump: Shhh, don't call me that yet.

A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair; the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, “honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?” The wife said, “I swear to all that is holy, he is your son.”

Then the husband died, and his wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”

A was talking with a friend of mine and she

told me that she was pregnant with twins. I told her; ok what's the matter and she answers;Since they're twins, will I be pregnant for nine or 18 months? And I'm answering her, don't worry about that. Worry about the possibility that kids might be idiots like you.

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A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy

A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy in the movies when his toupee slides off.
As he's groping around for it, his hand goes between her legs, up under her skirt, and lands on her tw*t.
She says, “That's it! That's it!"
He says, "It can't be. I part mine on the side....

A friend of mine broke up with his cross-eyed Girl Friend...

They just weren't seeing eye to eye, and I heard she was seeing someone on the side.

Two men are talking about their wifes

Man 1: Im so lucky. My wife is an angel

Man 2: Lucky. Mines still alive

A friend of mine bought an old plane, took the wings off, and turned it into a restaurant.

I don’t think it will take off.

Found out a colleague of mine who’s been missing for a few days was found dead this morning.

Apparently he walked into a cemetery while drunk and broke his neck as he fell into a dug up hole.

What a grave mistake.

A friend of mine is convinced that Van Gogh painted the Mona Lisa.

I just don't have the 'art to correct him.

Every body loves guns!

Everytime I show them mine, they give me free stuff.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What is the name of your penis?"

The customer says "I'm not like that, man. I just want a drink". The bartender says "I can't serve you until I hear a name for your penis. For example, mine is Nike, for the slogan just do it. I'll come back in a couple minutes". The man thinks, and turns to the man on his left. He asks "What's the ...

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A doctor and a sex offender which live next to each other have the same house model.

After a while they both decide to sell their house. One day the sex offender comes up to the doctor and asks "hey doc, how much are you selling your house for?". "150k" anwsers the doctor. "Only 150? I am selling mine for 350k" says the sex offender. "Why are you selling it for that much, we have th...

A man visits a friend in a middle eastern country again after 10 years…

Back when he visited 10 years ago, the women were expected to walk 10 steps behind their husbands, and as everything else would certainly not be customary, they obliged.

Now that the man has returned 10 years later, he observes the women all walk 10 steps in front of their husbands.

<...

What did the blonde say when her doc told her she's pregnant?

Hope it's not mine.

What did her blonde doc say?

Hope it's not mine either.

Why are blonde jokes one-liners?

So men can understand them too.

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A millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 60th birthday.

During this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two crocodiles in it.

“I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.”

The guests shakes their heads in disbelie...

A buddy of mine just told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin.

I said “How can you tell them apart?”

He said “Her brother’s got a moustache.”

This one is mine, so it's not great, but I like it....

A guy named Bob works in an oil refinery, and since he only lives about a mile from the plant, he just rides his bicycle in every day. There only inconvenience is he has to carry his bike across a catwalk that stretches over numerous vats of oil being refined.

One day, he stumbles and *gloop...

I have an apartment complex

I'm very insecure about mine

A man finds a well in the desert...

As he can't see how deep it is or if there's any water in it, he decides to drop something down the hole and rely on the sounds it will make. But all he can find that isn't sand, is a large and quite heavy rectangular block of stone.
With great effort he pushes the big stone to the well and fin...

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