UPJOKE
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Num Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two nums were ordered to paint the sanctuary which was being refurbished.

To avoid splattering paint on their habits, they decided to lock the doors and paint in the nude.

After a while, they heard a knock on the door and asked "Who is it?"
The answer came back "Blind man!"

They shrugged and decided to open the door, the blind man couldn't see their...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time.

Her legs are up in the stirrups and she looks very nervous. The doctor says, "You look nervous. Would you like me to numb you down there before the exam?"

She's relieved and says "Yes, please."

The doc puts his head between her legs and goes num, num, num.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young teenaged girl has her first trip to the gynecologist...

She gets taken to the examination room and the nurse tells her to strip down, put the gown on, sit in the chair and put her legs in the stirrups. The girl is a bit overwhelmed, but she complies.

A few minutes later, the doctor comes in, takes a quick glance at the girl's chart and then sits d...

Two nuns are riding their bikes back home.

They decided to take a different way home. After they get back the younger nun looks at the older num and says, "I've never come that way before."

The older nun replies, "Oh, it's the cobblestones."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Interviewer: "In your CV, you wrote that you can perform under pressure. Can you give an example?"

Interviewee: "Sure. Mmm num ba de, dum bum ba be, doo buh dum ba beh beh, pressure pushing down on me..."

Why couldn't the computer feel anything?

Num. lock was on

What did the Cookie Monster say after eating all the anesthia at the dentist's office?

"NUMB NUM NUMB NUM NUMB NUM"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) A woman goes to her gynecologist for an examination.

The gyn is examining her vagina and thinks to himself this is the most beautiful vagina he's ever seen.

He tells her he has to probe deeper and will need to numb her. She, of course, agrees.

He begins licking her vagina and says, "Num, num, num."

A gynecologist is preparing to leave for the day...

when his nurse stops him.

"Doctor, we just had a walk-in, would you mind seeing her?"

The doctor steps into the exam room to find the most staggeringly gorgeous woman he has ever seen. After staring for several seconds he collects himself and asks her to please lie back, saying, "Befor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The joke scene from The Bicentennial Man (1999) with Robin Williams

**Andrew Martin:** May one, sir? Is now a good time?


**'Ma'am' Martin:** What? A good time for what?


**Andrew Martin:** Last night, Sir taught...


**Sir:** No, no, no, don't blame me Andrew. Just... go ahead.


**Andrew Martin:** Thank you sir


**An...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's Robyn's first time at the gyno....

She is terribly nervous and her doctor can tell right away. He introduces himself and mentions that he sees she is nervous. He then asks if she would like to be numbed down there to make it more comfortable for her.

She agrees to be numbed so he sticks his face in her pussy saying "num, num, ...

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