Why do British people pronounce it bri'ish?

Because the Tea fell in the harbor.

Why do British people pronounce the word “Bri’ish” like they do?

Because they drank all the T.

(Told to me by my 11yo)

Why do Bri'ish people never pronounce the letter 't' ?

Because they drank it all

Where did the "T" in Bri'ish go?

they drank it all



im such a comedian

What do you call a bri'ish Dinosaur

A tea-rex

There's a reason Bri ish people don' pronounce their T's

We drank them all.

Some people from Britain call themselves "Bri-ish" because

After the incident in Boston Harbor they need to hide their T

a guy is talking to his firends

he says:

"why always a british person says the word british, it sounds like bri'ish"


a british man listens and responds:


"after the Boston incident we always hide our t's"

A plan to rob a bris was foiled by the Rabbi today...

Police are still baffled at how he managed to get a tip off!

The Bri ish are coming! The Bri ish are coming!

“Where’s the T?”
“In the harbor!”

I made fun of British accents

They called it H Speech

If Americans spoke American, what would the British speak?

Bri’ish

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar

They all begin discussing their own churches and synagogue. As the night goes on, they drink more and more, and the discussion starts to turn competitive. Each starts to boast about how eloquent they are, and how great they are at converting non believers. Eventually, the bartender gets sick of it. ...

Did you guys hear about the cheese shop explosion in France?

Da bries went *everywhere*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Jimi Hendrix say after he accidentally cut the end of a jew's penis off?

"Excuse Me While I Bris This Guy"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men at the urinals

Standing there, doing their business, when one starts to strike up a conversation.

"Excuse me, sir, do you happen to be Jewish?"

"Yes, indeed I am."

"And do you happen to be from Krakow?"

"Yes, how do you know?"

"And you always went to the little synagogue in the P...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Injured Pirate Captain

An old pirate captain was having a talk with a young pirate captain out on the docks.

They joked for a bit until the young captain gets the courage to ask: “What happened to your leg?”

The old captain was eager to respond: “Oh this ‘ere leg? Well ye see lad, I was in a chase with an en...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do cheese call sex?

The curds and the bries

...

Yes I'm sober

A cheese factory exploded recently..

...Unfortunately, nothing could be salvaged except for de-brie.

A rabbi is hiring an assistant...

Rabbi Hoffman is hiring an assistant, and he’s interviewing a young man named Uri for the job.

The rabbi read through Uri’s resume. He had extensive community service, excellent grades, and had never missed service.

“This all looks very good, young man. I’m going to need help cleaning...

What's the name of the ceremony where really prideful Hebrews get circumcised?

The Hu-Bris

Two Jewish men are standing in the bathroom and peeing in adjacent urinals

the one to the right finishes doing his business, turns around, and says to his neighbor, “Tell me, did Mohel Rabinovich do your bris [i.e. circumcision]?” “Yes,” the other guy responds, “how did you know?!!!” “Well, Rabinovich is a little cross-eyed and you are peeing on my shoes!”

Some Cheesy Jokes:

What cheese do you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone!

What cheese do you use to get a bear down from a tree? Camembert!

What cheese is made backwards? Edam!

Why did the cheese board blow away? Because of the strong Bries!

What did the cheese day when it looked in the mirror...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Circumcision Joke [nsfw]

A mohel (for those who don't know, a mohel/moyel/mohil is a Jewish person trained as a circumciser for the bris) is about to retire and calls his friend in to tell him the news. His friend said "Why that's wonderful news, you've spent many a year behind the knife, I bet you'll be glad to retire." ...

A man is walking down the street

When he notices his watch has stopped. Seeing a shop window filled with watches and clocks, he goes inside
“My watch has stopped, could you take a look at it?” He asks the man behind the counter.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t work on watches. You see, I’m a Mohel.”
“What’s a Mohel?”
“Well, a M...

Why did the cheese board blow away?

Because of the strong bries.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After 40 years a Rabbi retires... (long)

during his time, he performed many bris' (circumcisions) and saved the foreskins. As a retirement gift to himself he took the collected foreskins to a leather craftsman and asked him to make something with them.

The leatherman looked at the collection and thought for a bit, and said "sure, s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a Japanese man experience when he marries a Jewish woman?

marital bris

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