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Malcolm Jokes

A Priest, a Doctor, and an Engineer are playing golf

An engineer, a priest, and a doctor are trying to enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. “That’s a group of blind firefighters,” they are told. “They lost their sight saving our clubhou...

Do you like Malcolm in the Middle?

▢ Yes

▢ No

▢ Maybe

▢ I don't know, can you repeat the question?

Absolutely loved Malcolm in the Middle. Such a great show.

Not like it’s super sad sequel, Malcom’s Now The Oldest

Malcolm X

TIL that right before his death, Malcolm X was working on a book denouncing the factory farm system and advocating for a vegetarian lifestyle. It was going to be called "By Any Greens Necessary"

Before Malcolm X ever went bowling, he'd get his friends really drunk...

Then he convinced them all that he got a strike on his first bowl.

Historians have discovered that human rights activist Malcolm X was actually just called Malcolm

He was rather affectionate at the end of his text messages.

How did Ian Malcolm's wife find out he was cheating?

Wife, uh, finds a way.

Dr Ian Malcolm isn't sure how to fit his favorite cereal in the grocery cart

But Life finds a way

Malcolm Turnbull plans to fix NBN over the next 5 years

Starting on April Fools Day

I wanted to go see Malcolm X when it came out in theaters...

But I was afraid wouldn't get it since I hadn't seen 1 through 9

I heard Frankie Muniz is going to be playing a 1960's civil rights leader, in the upcoming film...

'Malcolm X in the Middle'.

My friend asked me why I act so insecure when he would talk to my girlfriend.

I don't remember what my answer was, but their son Malcolm turns two next month.

4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

British Redneck Joke

Bubba Windsor and Earl Spencer had just finished a leisurely tour of The Fitzwilliam Museum at Grove Lane and a gourmet repast at Loch Fyne Restaurant Ltd. on Trumpington St. On this fine afternoon they were proceeding northwest toward King's Parade and their destination, St Catherine's College of C...

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