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My wife refuses to have sex with me until I stop referring to my penis by different nicknames

I guess it’s time to take Matters into my own hands

Why is it easy to come up with nicknames for a tree?

Because they stick.

I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.

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So someone has anonymously complained that I've given inappropriate nicknames to my female co-workers

I'm not sure who it is but I've strong suspicion it might be Bitchface Bigtits....

A guy stops at a little cake shop ran by an elderly couple.

He asks for a cup of coffee. The old man who was working the counter turns to the kitchen and says "Sweetie! A cup of coffee to this gentleman please!"

The man found that rather cute and, deciding he could use some cake with his coffee decided to order a slice. The elderly man turned to the k...

There are three girls,

and their boyfriends all have the same name. So in order to keep them from getting confused, they decide to give their boyfriends nicknames. They ask the first girl what she calls her boyfriend. She says, “I call my man 7-Up.”
They ask her, “Why do you call your man that?”
And she says, “Becau...

Me and my girlfriend have nicknames for each other; I call her thunder and she calls me lightning.

I’m lightning because I always come first

I always liked cute nicknames...

My parents called me "disgrace"

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Me and my girlfriend like to give each other dirty nicknames during sex

I think its really cute how she calls me "wrong hole" all the time.

My girlfriend always tells me i'm immature.

Immature like I give people stupid nicknames or play childish games all day.

That's the usual coming from Mrs Smellyfart.

Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames

and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner

My German friend asked me if there were any nicknames for blind people in America...

Apparently, not-see was the wrong answer.

Nicknames

Three woman who were good friends would meet at the laundromat once a week to talk while washing their clothes. All of the woman were dating men named john, so one week they decided to make up nicknames to call their men so that they could tell them apart.

One of the women says, "let's name o...

Don't you hate it when people refers to themselves in 3rd person? Or when people give themselves nicknames?

Well, sorry but.. Daddy does both.

I was talking to my friend about nicknames...

Like how “Maddie” is short for “Madeline” or “Alex” for “Alexander”

-“But wait, how do you get ‘Dick’ from ‘Richard?’”

You ask nicely

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Penis nicknames

My ex-girlfriend nicknamed my penis after her favorite rapper, Biggie. So I nicknamed her boobs after my favourite country band, Rascal Flatts.

My ex girlfirend

My ex-girlfriend used to give me nicknames whilst giving me head.


"The Impaler" was my favourite.


Well, at least, that's what I thought she said....


Turns out she's asthmatic and it's my fault she died.

A man, his wife and his friend just finished diner

"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"

His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."

The man responds: "Well, I forgot ...

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