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Nicknames Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife refuses to have sex with me until I stop referring to my penis by different nicknames

I guess it’s time to take Matters into my own hands

Why is it easy to come up with nicknames for a tree?

Because they stick.

I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.

3 men are talking about the nicknames they give their wives.

The first guy says: "I call my wife sugar because she's so sweet"

The second guy says: "I call my wife flower because she's so pretty"

The third guy says: "I call my wife boomerang because no matter what i do she always comes back"

I always liked cute nicknames...

My parents called me "disgrace"

Nicknames

Three woman who were good friends would meet at the laundromat once a week to talk while washing their clothes. All of the woman were dating men named john, so one week they decided to make up nicknames to call their men so that they could tell them apart.

One of the women says, "let's name o...

Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames

and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penis nicknames

My ex-girlfriend nicknamed my penis after her favorite rapper, Biggie. So I nicknamed her boobs after my favourite country band, Rascal Flatts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was called today to the HR officer over an anonymous complaint that I've been giving explicit nicknames to some of my female colleagues..

I'm not sure who made that complaint but I feel it might be 'Bitchface Bigtits'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

quick story.. of a joke

I (Richard)was out visiting a friend from the Military, we had been very close and out for a long time, but still very close friends. While I was at his house with him and his wife, she said the following. " Some people and I were talking about nicknames and that some of them don't really make sens...

Me and my girlfriend have nicknames for each other; I call her thunder and she calls me lightning.

I’m lightning because I always come first

My ex girlfirend

My ex-girlfriend used to give me nicknames whilst giving me head.


"The Impaler" was my favourite.


Well, at least, that's what I thought she said....


Turns out she's asthmatic and it's my fault she died.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So someone has anonymously complained that I've given inappropriate nicknames to my female co-workers

I'm not sure who it is but I've strong suspicion it might be Bitchface Bigtits....

I love it when girls give me cute nicknames...

Like "help" or "get off me"

I was talking to my friend about nicknames...

Like how “Maddie” is short for “Madeline” or “Alex” for “Alexander”

-“But wait, how do you get ‘Dick’ from ‘Richard?’”

You ask nicely

My German friend asked me if there were any nicknames for blind people in America...

Apparently, not-see was the wrong answer.

My wife left me because she didn’t like the nicknames I came up with for my own body parts

But it’s fine, with Handjalina Jolie and Jennifer Handiston I don’t need her anyway

A man, his wife and his friend just finished diner

"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"

His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."

The man responds: "Well, I forgot ...

Three women

are sitting at a bar, talking and drinking. They decide to give their husbands nicknames. The first woman says, “I would name my husband Mountain Dew, because when he mounts, he knows what to do.”
The second woman says, “Well I would name Manny 7-Up, because he is seven inches long and always up...

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