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Necks Jokes

Why are vampires so obsessed with necks?

Because they were raised by a neck romancer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two red necks go fishing

They row out to the middle of the lake and started to pull out fish after fish. One redneck says “We have to remember this spot! We should paint an X on the bottom of the boat so we know where it is”

“You idiot!” Says the other redneck “It’ll just wash off!”

You know why giraffes have long necks?

Because their heads are far from their body.

Why do giraffes have such long necks?

To get away from the smell of their feet.

What do you call a bunch of lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

Not enough sand.

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work!

What do red necks and scientists have in common?

Relative dating

What do you call someone who resurrects dead people to kiss their necks?

A Neckromancer.

How do red necks celebrate Halloween?

Pump kin

I always wear my Stethoscope around my neck

So in an emergency, it teaches people a valuable lesson about assumption

What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt?

Afroturf

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A fat guy decides to lose some weight

He heard that a company is running a special weight-loss program. Curious, he decided to sign up for a session.

He is taken to a basketball court. Standing in the middle of the court is a naked woman with a sign around her neck.

"If you catch me, you can fuck me in the ass."

Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy dies and is sent to hell

Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says “You must choose one to spend eternity in.”

In the first room, people are standing in shit up to their necks. The guy says, “Let me see the next room.”

In the second room, people are standing in shit up to their noses. The gu...

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