Why are vampires so obsessed with necks?

Because they were raised by a neck romancer.

What do you call a bunch of lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

Not enough sand.

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two red necks go fishing

They row out to the middle of the lake and started to pull out fish after fish. One redneck says “We have to remember this spot! We should paint an X on the bottom of the boat so we know where it is”

“You idiot!” Says the other redneck “It’ll just wash off!”

Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?

Because their heads are so far from their body

Why do giraffes have such long necks?

To get away from the smell of their feet.

"Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks…

You really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a f\*cking cross?"

What do you call someone who resurrects dead people to kiss their necks?

A Neckromancer.

A guy dies and is sent to hell.

Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in.
In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The guy says, ‘No, let me see the next room.’
In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no aga...

I always wear my Stethoscope around my neck

So in an emergency, it teaches people a valuable lesson about assumption

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