I'm bothered that I keep getting distracted about the idea of smooching one of my enemies.

I need to learn how to foe kiss.

A general, an officer, an old lady, and an attractive young woman all board a train together.

As they ride along they go in a dark tunnel and can't see anything. Suddenly, they hear a quick smooch followed by a loud smack!

The old lady thinks, "that young girl has some fine morals, smacking a man for trying to steal a kiss."

The young woman thinks, "how odd, the general tried t...

(Old joke alert - be gentle.)

So, a guy sees this girl home after a date.

She says

\- Do you want to come in? You'll have to be very quiet, my parents are upstairs.

\- Sure

So they go in to the sitting room, get on the couch, and start smooching.

The guy says

\- Sorry, I need to use ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Newlyweds

One night, a newly married couple take to their bed after the party and after some smooching they decide they're ready to consummate the marriage. So the groom drops his pants and gets a shriek out of the Bride.

"What's wrong with you!" he shouts at her.
"Ohh! OOH! What's THAT?!" she repli...

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