I was mugged at a bus station, and burst in to tears.

A police officer came up to me and said 'I'm fining you £60'.

I said, 'oh, for crying out loud'

The police officer said 'yes'

I got mugged in a dark alley by K-pop stars

Now I have BTSD

A tortoise was crossing the road, when two snails mugged him.

The police arrived and asked what the muggers looked like.

Shaken, the tortoise said "I don't know. It all happened so fast!"

I got mugged yesterday by a gang of six dwarves.

Not Happy.

Two turtles get mugged...

Two turtles are walking down the street, while all of a sudden, a third turtle comes up to them and robs them. The two call the police to report the robbery, and when the police officer comes to the crime scene and asks the two turtles what happened, one of them replies, "I don't know....it all happ...

Pablo Picasso was once mugged in the street...

When the police questioned him on the appearance of the culprit, he did the reconstruction sketch himself.

The investigation went rather quickly. On the first day, the police had already arrested 3 handicapped people, 3 elderly women, 2 fish, and a sewing machine.

An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.

When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."

I saw a man getting mugged by 2 dudes so I stepped in to help

he didn't stand a chance against the 3 of us

I almost got mugged today

Guy runs up on me with a knife and says' "Your money or your life."
I said, "Look, man, I'm married. I ain't got no money and I ain't got no life."
He gave me a hug and a cigarette.

I once saw my grandma get mugged

And $20 is all she gave me

I saw an old lady being mugged by several men while walking home today, I figured I better go and help!

She was a tough old broad but in the end we got her purse.

What did the sloth say when he was mugged by a bunch of snails ?

"it all happened so fast!"

I got mugged by a thief last night.

I got mugged by a theif last night on my way from work.

Pointing a knife at me and asked me... "Your money or your life!".

I told him I am Married... "So I have no money and I have no life... ".

We hugged and cried together.

It was a beautiful moment....

I was being mugged the other day...

The guy said, "Give me all your money or else you're biology!"
I said, "Don't you mean history?"
He told me "Don't change the subject!"

I was mugged today! They stole my mood ring.

I’m not sure how I feel about the whole situation

Magician mugging

I got mugged by a magician the other day. He pulled a knife on me, but what was weird is that it was behind my ear the whole time.

Mugged in D.C

A mugger stops a well-dressed man with a gun to his ribs and says "Give me your money"

The man replies back "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!"

"Oh! In that case," says the robber, "Give me MY money!"

I've been very anxious about being mugged while on holiday in mexico, so I've been taking Valium to calm my nerves.

So far I haven't had any Hispanic attacks.

A snail went to the police station to report that he had been mugged.

He said "I've been robbed by two tortoises"

The desk officer said "Can you describe the incident"

The snail replied "No not really it all happened so fast "

A snail gets mugged

A snail is heading home from work, very late one night. He gets mugged by a turtle. The policeman says "Can you describe the guy?" The snail says "I don't know . . . it all happened so fast."

Ever heard the time when I got mugged?

My friend really hit me hard with that cup.

So this redneck in New York is getting mugged...

and he fights like a wildcat, but eventually the three toughs overcome him. Two hold him down while the third grabs his wallet and opens it.
"Ten dollars??!!? You fought like a madman for *15 minutes* for a lousy ten bucks?"
"Oh no!" replied the redneck. "I thought you were going af...

Ten horses walk out of a bar. They see another horse getting mugged by a big scary dude in an alleyway. The horses are unsure if they should intervene. One brave horse says, "Let's put it to a vote! If you want to help him, say aye!"

They don't help him.

Why did the slug die after being mugged?

He was a-salted.

A snail is walking home from the pub one night, when he gets beaten up and mugged by two slugs...

He goes to the police, who ask him for a description of the attackers.

"To be honest, it all happened so fast..."

So a turtle gets mugged by two snails on his way home

When the police finally show up they ask the turtle,

"Mr. Turtle, tell us everything!"

The turtle responds with fear still in his eyes,

"I can't officer, it all happened so fast!"

I'm sick of people telling me that I'm more likely to get mugged in London than New York.

What do they expect? I don't live in New York.

I saw a homeless man sleeping and I thought to myself, "What if you get mugged?"

So just to be safe, I took his guitar.

I got attacked and mugged by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

I got Attacked and mugged by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask, so I couldn't Idenitfy him.

A man gets mugged.

He goes in for a police sketch.
The police has the picture and asks him if this is accurate.

He says, “he looks sketchier than when i saw him”

I was mugged......

.....by a man on crutches, wearing camouflage. " Ha ha, I thought, you can hide but you can’t run.”

So on the way home my coffee mug was stolen

I guess you could say I was mugged

I got mugged last night! My assailants made off with everything from my shoes to my mood ring...

I still don't know how I feel about that.

I was mugged by a guy equipped with kitchen utensils.

I considered running, but it was a big whisk.

What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged?

Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on.

A couple of years ago Barry went hiking across Europe

But as time passed by he never returned home. His many friends tried contacting him in any way they could imagine, but his phone was disconnected, he wasn't active on his social media accounts anymore - it was like he disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Ultimately, everyone had forgotten a...

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