A sloth gets mugged by three turtles. At the police station the cop asks him if he got a good look at the muggers. The sloth replies "I don't know, it all happened so fast".
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Got mugged by three guys the other day
During the fracas I managed to knock one out, not the best time for a wank but I thought it might have been my last.
I was mugged by a thief last night on my way home.
Pointing a gun at me, he asked,
"Your money or your life."
I told him, "I am married, I have no money and no life."
We hugged and cried together.
It was a beautiful moment...
Mugged
A turtle is mugged by three snails. When asked by police to give a description of what happened, he replies, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
A snail gets mugged
A snail is heading home from work, very late one night. He gets mugged by a turtle. The policeman says "Can you describe the guy?" The snail says "I don't know . . . it all happened so fast."
In New York, someone is mugged every 14.5 minutes.
Why doesn't he move away?
A man gets mugged every 30 seconds in New York City
He is starting to get really fed up.
Mugged in D.C
A mugger stops a well-dressed man with a gun to his ribs and says "Give me your money"
The man replies back "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!"
"Oh! In that case," says the robber, "Give me MY money!"
I was being mugged the other day...
The guy said, "Give me all your money or else you're biology!" I said, "Don't you mean history?" He told me "Don't change the subject!"
I went to London the other day and was mugged in broad daylight at the train station.
Naturally I burst into tears, and then a policeman came up to me and said, “I’m fining you £10.”
“For crying out loud!” I exclaimed.
“Exactly,” he replied.
Two turtles get mugged...
Two turtles are walking down the street, while all of a sudden, a third turtle comes up to them and robs them. The two call the police to report the robbery, and when the police officer comes to the crime scene and asks the two turtles what happened, one of them replies, "I don't know....it all happ...
I almost got mugged today
Guy runs up on me with a knife and says' "Your money or your life." I said, "Look, man, I'm married. I ain't got no money and I ain't got no life." He gave me a hug and a cigarette.
My pet tortoise got mugged by 3 snails.
When he was interviewed by the police, He said ' I don't know, it happened so fast'
I saw a man getting mugged by 2 dudes so I stepped in to help
he didn't stand a chance against the 3 of us
I once saw my grandma get mugged
And $20 is all she gave me
I got mugged in a dark alley by K-pop stars
Now I have BTSD
I was mugged today! They stole my mood ring.
I’m not sure how I feel about the whole situation
So this redneck in New York is getting mugged...
and he fights like a wildcat, but eventually the three toughs overcome him. Two hold him down while the third grabs his wallet and opens it. "Ten dollars??!!? You fought like a madman for *15 minutes* for a lousy ten bucks?" "Oh no!" replied the redneck. "I thought you were going af...
A man gets mugged.
He goes in for a police sketch. The police has the picture and asks him if this is accurate.
He says, “he looks sketchier than when i saw him”
I was mugged......
.....by a man on crutches, wearing camouflage. " Ha ha, I thought, you can hide but you can’t run.”
Magician mugging
I got mugged by a magician the other day. He pulled a knife on me, but what was weird is that it was behind my ear the whole time.
An Internet Explorer user was recently mugged by a snail, a turtle, and a sloth.
When reporters asked him if he could describe the muggers, he responded, "Not very well. It all happened so fast."
Ever heard the time when I got mugged?
My friend really hit me hard with that cup.
Why did the slug die after being mugged?
He was a-salted.
A snail went to the police station to report that he had been mugged.
He said "I've been robbed by two tortoises"
The desk officer said "Can you describe the incident"
The snail replied "No not really it all happened so fast "
I saw an old lady being mugged by several men while walking home today, I figured I better go and help!
She was a tough old broad but in the end we got her purse.
I got attacked and mugged by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
I got Attacked and mugged by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
Ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask, so I couldn't Idenitfy him.
So a turtle gets mugged by two snails on his way home
When the police finally show up they ask the turtle,
"Mr. Turtle, tell us everything!"
The turtle responds with fear still in his eyes,
"I can't officer, it all happened so fast!"
I was mugged by a guy equipped with kitchen utensils.
I considered running, but it was a big whisk.
A man lost 100 pounds after an experimental surgery
He was mugged on the way home
Tom Cruise was carrying amphetamine when he was mugged.
When the ambulance arrived the paramedic examined Tom Cruise and determined he was winded by a swift knee to the solar plexus.
The police officer wrote in his file: "The victim, Tom Cruise, got kneed for speed."
What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged?
Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on.
I'm sick of people telling me that I'm more likely to get mugged in London than New York.
What do they expect? I don't live in New York.
So on the way home my coffee mug was stolen
I guess you could say I was mugged
I've been very anxious about being mugged while on holiday in mexico, so I've been taking Valium to calm my nerves.
So far I haven't had any Hispanic attacks.
A snail is walking home from the pub one night, when he gets beaten up and mugged by two slugs...
He goes to the police, who ask him for a description of the attackers.
"To be honest, it all happened so fast..."
I got mugged last night! My assailants made off with everything from my shoes to my mood ring...
I still don't know how I feel about that.
It was an ordinary day during the hyperinflation of 1923 in Germany.
And your friendly neighborhood Hans was coming back home from work, carrying his pay in a large basket.
Unfortunately, Hans got mugged.
The robbers tipped out the banknotes and ran off with the basket!
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
