Mowed Jokes

Because of everybody pushing up the daisies

doing so I sat down and had a cold soda.

The day was really quite beautiful,
and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.

Finally I thought about the age old question:
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain t... read more

My wife told next time to mow with my pants off.

I mowed the town cemetery.

were sipping moonshine on the front porch when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.

“I’m a-gonna do that when I win that there lottery”, announced hillbilly #1.

“Do wut?”, asked hillbilly #2

“Send my lawn out to git mowed.”

but it still has to be mowed

"What do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn naked?" he asks jokingly.
The wife replies without looking up from the morning paper, "They’ll probably think I married you for the money."

When he spots a man at the side of the road, eating the grass on the verge. He stops and asks the man what he is doing. The man says “I am so poor that my family and I cannot afford food and so we eat grass to survive”. The lawyer is horrified and says “that’s terrible! Look, I’m on my way home; gra... read more

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey," he continued, "what would then neighbors think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

His wife thought for a moment, then replied, "That I married you for your money."

Sherlock turned to Watson. "Observe the stars above us and the grass below us, what can you deduce? You know my methods."

Watson thought carefully. "From the position of the stars, i can deduce our approximate location, as well as the month. The grass is moist, so it has obviously rained rece... read more

I swear, the next person who brags in front og me will be mowed down by my brand new Lamborghini Aventador with extremely comfortable leather seats at max speed (218 mph)

Police have arrested a mean medium, mowed.

According to my neighbor, the doctor came to my place and mowed my lawn when I was at work, What a nice guy.

Mowed 'em.

Two Irishmen are sitting by the road when a truck loaded with rolls of turf (sod) drives past.
"Aye, Paddy. That's what I'm going to do when I'm rich."
"What's that then Declan?"
"I'm going to send my grass away to be mowed."

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties
The first man had married an Indian girl, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clea... read more

Boudreaux said, "I'm a'gonna do dat when I win da lottery!"



"What's dat?" asks Thibodeaux.

"Send da lawn off to be mowed."

A new supermarket just opened up nearby.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and
smell fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and there is
the scent of freshly mowed h... read more