UPJOKE
rock climbingclimbalpsmountmountainhikingice axeglaciersnowhillpeakclimbercramponsslopek2

I went to a stand up about mountain climbing

I was skeptical at first but, I have to admit when the routine reached its peak there was some high level jokes

[First Date] Me: I quit drugs and then took up mountain climbing.

Her: That’s great. What’s the highest you’ve been?

Me: I once had a 20 minute conversation with a microwave.

I tried to stop my 103 year old grandfather from going mountain climbing

He told me not to worry because he was in his prime

Did you hear about the presidential candidate who died in an accident while mountain climbing?

Yeah, his opponent won by a landslide!

My mountain climbing partner's last words were wasted on giving me advice about toys I don't even have.

"DON'T LEGO."

Odd.

I finally cut ties with a so-called friend that was just dragging me down

Mountain climbing with a friend is hard."

Did you hear about the mountain climber who summited Mt Everest.

safe to say his mountain climbing career peaked

My great-grandma told me this joke as a kid and it is by far my favorite kid-friendly joke of all time (I’m also aware of just how corny it is and I don’t care)

There was a country called Raberia, and all the people there were called Rabbis. There was this one Rabbi who wanted to go mountain climbing in this other country called Trideria, and all the people there were called Trids. So he hired two Trids to take him up the mountain and away they go. After a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man enters a competition ( an original)

A man has three glasses of wine but he has to fight for each one for a competition. One wine glass is in a vault. One is buried underground. The last one is atop a mountain. The man is good at cracking codes and he gets through the vault door easily and drinks the glass of wine. He also is very good...

My wife left me because I'm too insecure

Oh wait. She didn't leave, I'm falling! Damn my lack of mountain climbing safety equipment!

The Meaning Of Life

A young man goes to search for the meaning of life. He decides to ask around.


The first person he meets is a wealthy man. "That's easy," he says. "The meaning of life is to accumulate wealth. Then you can transform and inspire your community." The young man takes this advice to heart. He ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.