Rock climbing

You’re either on belay,

Or you Be Laying on the ground

(Thought of this while rock climbing today)

I quit drugs to concentrate on rock climbing

"nice... what’s the highest you've been?"

I tried to kiss a goldfish.

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Yesterday I went rock climbing and the guy above me kept farting.

It was by far the worst ass scent I’ve ever had to deal with.

Rock climbing is not good for my mood swings.

Too many ups and downs.

A CEO went on a rock climbing trip with one of his employees.

The CEO, an experienced climber, reached the top of a difficult section and was holding a rope tied to both men. As the employee was climbing up, he lost his grip, and was only saved by the strength of the CEO who was barely able to hang on. The CEO yelled, "Hurry, I'm losing my grip!", but the empl...

What do you call a rock climbing rabbi?

Mountain Jew

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Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing

You should never look down

What do you call a rock climbing cow?

A high steak situation

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Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

Dwayne Johnson and Tom Cruise is casted on the same movie.

There is a scene where Tom Cruise climbs on top of Dwayne Johnson without using a stunt double since he is so good at rock climbing.

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Two friends go to Vegas

But lost their wallets, between them they now only have $8.00.

The first friend says “give me the money, I have a great idea”

He goes into Walgreens and comes out with a bag

Second friend grabs it and looks inside and sees a box of tampons. He says “that’s great, you waste our l...

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Three boys are playing marines outside...

A man walks up to them and asks what they’re up to. The first boy doing air squats says “I’m rock climbing.” The second boy running in place says “I’m on tour right now running through the desert.” The third boy doing push-ups says “I’m friends with these two and while they’re on tour l’m fucking th...

My Girlfriend is super obsessed with Star Trek...

So one day we went rock climbing and we were talking about species, I asked her: "How many can you name?" She gave me a grin and said "Roluman, Bajoran, Cardassian, Ferengi, Borg..." She got preoccupied and fell to the bottom of the cliff. "You forgot to Kling-On!"

Letting go of a loved one is hard...

But sometimes it's the only way to survive a rock climbing catastrophe.

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Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes...

Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes and after mourning for some time, they begin to talk about what they plan to do with their lover's ashes.

The first widow says, "John was very outdoorsman, enjoyed hiking, rock climbing and nature, so I'm going to sprea...

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3 men met a genie

After 3 guys finished rock climbing and got to the top of a cliff they met a genie. The genie told them that he could turn them into anything they wanted. Now, near them was a cliff with the ocean. The genie said "run off the cliff and say what you want to be" so the first ran off and yelled "PARROT...

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

It used to be cross country but now it's rock climbing.

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What do you call it when someone has sex with Dwayne Johnson?

Rock Climbing.
heh.

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