UPJOKE
rockmountaineeringcliffclimbingsportsport climbingaid climbingbelayclimbstonerockyboltabseilingcanyoneeringeurope

Rock Climbing Jokes

Rock climbing

You’re either on belay,

Or you Be Laying on the ground

(Thought of this while rock climbing today)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m taking rock climbing lessons and my dad suggested I sign up for a mattress making class.

It’s ….. something to fall back on.

What do you call a rock climbing rabbi?

Mountain Jew

Rock climbing is not good for my mood swings.

Too many ups and downs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday I went rock climbing and the guy above me kept farting.

It was by far the worst ass scent I’ve ever had to deal with.

What do you call a rock climbing cow?

A high steak situation

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Receiving oral sex from an ugly person is like rock climbing

You should never look down

Why was jesus great at rock climbing?

He could find foot and hand holes

A CEO went on a rock climbing trip with one of his employees.

The CEO, an experienced climber, reached the top of a difficult section and was holding a rope tied to both men. As the employee was climbing up, he lost his grip, and was only saved by the strength of the CEO who was barely able to hang on. The CEO yelled, "Hurry, I'm losing my grip!", but the empl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three boys are playing marines outside...

A man walks up to them and asks what they’re up to. The first boy doing air squats says “I’m rock climbing.” The second boy running in place says “I’m on tour right now running through the desert.” The third boy doing push-ups says “I’m friends with these two and while they’re on tour l’m fucking th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends go to Vegas

But lost their wallets, between them they now only have $8.00.

The first friend says “give me the money, I have a great idea”

He goes into Walgreens and comes out with a bag

Second friend grabs it and looks inside and sees a box of tampons. He says “that’s great, you waste our l...

Letting go of a loved one is hard...

But sometimes it's the only way to survive a rock climbing catastrophe.

what does one rock use to propose to another rock?

A bouldering.

(Sorry guys ive been indoor rock climbing lately)

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

It used to be cross country but now it's rock climbing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when someone has sex with Dwayne Johnson?

Rock Climbing.
heh.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men met a genie

After 3 guys finished rock climbing and got to the top of a cliff they met a genie. The genie told them that he could turn them into anything they wanted. Now, near them was a cliff with the ocean. The genie said "run off the cliff and say what you want to be" so the first ran off and yelled "PARROT...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes...

Three widows are at a crematory collecting their deceased husband's ashes and after mourning for some time, they begin to talk about what they plan to do with their lover's ashes.

The first widow says, "John was very outdoorsman, enjoyed hiking, rock climbing and nature, so I'm going to sprea...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.