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Tor Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with “tor” that eat other things.

The first little boy said, "Alligator."
"Very good James, that's a big word." The second boy said, "Predator." “Yes, that's another big word Alan. Very well done." Little Johnny says, "Vibrator." After nearly falling off her chair, the teacher says,"That is a big word Johnny, but it doesn't eat a...

Non alcoholic beer is like a vibr@tor without the batteries.

It fills you up nicely, but without the buzz.

There was once a man called Ia'Tor living just outside Roman territory. All his life, he was grumpy and angry, to the point that people started calling him Sullen Ia'Tor. One day, a Roman legion passed through his area, and captured this barbarian in the name of civilizing him.

While those around him despaired and wailed as they were trained for combat, he was actually enjoying something for the first time. By the time he first stepped into the arena, he was known as... Glad Ia'Tor.

The Teacher Asked the Class to Name Something that Ends in -Tor and Eats Things.

Gabe raised his hand first. He said, "Predator."

"Clever answer! They sure eat things!" The teacher told him.

Next, Dylan raised his hand. "Oh! I know! Raptor!"

"You are very smart! Raptors eat many different things," the teacher said.

Then, little Timmy answered. "Vibrat...

Let me tell you a little story about a criminal.

So in Thailand there was a gangster named "Mr. Phoon.", and one day he was passing through a small village that was home to a man he had had "taken care of", when the man had tried to interfere with the flow of Mr. Phoon's drugs into the town.

Now it was a stormy day, and some of the famil...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was standing just next to Aj1t Pa1 when he was using Tor Browser ...

I peeked at his PornHub account and his username was AJ1T_3.14Inches

What do the dark web and submarines have in common?

They're both home to Tor-pedos.

What do you call a Tortoise that has to pee ?

A Porpoise

I've been learning to use a new web browser lately, but my teacher is being really harsh to me.

He's my Tor-mentor.

*tips car*

M'tor.

What do you call a Norse god that values privacy?

Tor

I was in a band called Dark Web.

We was always on tor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a man who loved tractors

I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was the love he felt for his wife. His high sch...

As i’ve grown older, I realised the number of people i’ve lost along the way have increased.

Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t suited tor me.

Little Johnny in class

A teacher asked her third grade class to name things that ended with the letters 'tor' that also ate things.

The first little boy said, 'Alligator'.

'Very good, Jimmy, that's a big word', said the teacher.

The next little boy said, 'Predator'.

'That's also a very good wor...

What do you get when you cross horses with strong winds?

A tor*neigh*do

What do you call a small insect that likes to download things illegally off the internet?

A Tor-ant

What do you call a Finnish coffee maker?

A perkele-tor!

I know this guy who teaches people how to access the Dark Web, but if they're incompetent then he physically and psychologically abuses them

He's a Tor mentor.

Who do fishermen call when they want to sell their property?

They call a Reel-tor!

Lenin in Warsaw

At an art exhibition in Moscow, there is a picture showing Nadezhda Krupskaya, Lenin's wife, in bed with a young member of the Komsomol. The title of the picture is "Lenin in Warsaw." A bewildered visi- tor asks a guide: "But where is Lenin?" The guide replies quietly and with dignity: "Lenin i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people use incognito mode to watch porn.

Just to be safe, I watch porn using Tor through a VPN on my friend's laptop connected to my neighbors wifi.

Which works great until my neighbors find out and tell me to get out of their living room.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stuttering Problem

A man visits the doctor because of his severe stuttering problem.

The doctor says, "It appears that your penis is four inches too long and is pulling on your vocal cords, thereby causing the stutter."

"D-d-d-oct-t-tor. Wh-ha-a-at c-c-can I d-d-do?"

The doctor tells him that he m...

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