I once went to climb Mount Everest...

... came across a local village farmer who said he had a rooster that could lay eggs.

I said, “How is that possible?”

He said, “Himalayan Rooster”


P.S I told that joke to a farm girl today and to all the other ag folk who clapped it made my day. Even if there’s only two of y...

On my way to climb Mt. Everest, I came upon a local villager who said he had a rooster that laid eggs.

"How is that possible?" I asked.
"Himalayan rooster," he replied.

TIL bumblebees are able to fly higher than Mount Everest.

Because Mount Everest can't fly.

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TIL On May 25th 2001, a blind man named Erik Weihenmayer climbed the top of Mount Everest...

When asked how he feels, he said "I'm gonna kill that fucking guide dog of mine!"

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What's the difference between standing on top of Mount Everest and getting a blowjob from a 90 year old grandma?

There is none.

In both cases you're enjoying but you must not look down.

During the recent quarantine period, I built a model of Mount Everest.

It’s not to scale, just to look at.

I just learned that my college physics professor had a heart attack and died after climbing Mount Everest....

It’s so sad. He had so much potential

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What do people that masturbate on mount Everest and terrorists on a plane have in common?

They are all hijacking.

I'm sorry and I will let myself out.

You're not stupid if you haven't been to university

Einstein never went to university and he was the first man to climb mount Everest

Why do people get depressed when they reach the peak of Mount Everest?

Because it's all downhill from there

What do Mt Everest and The Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people.

The ultimate challenge: Climb Mount Everest, reach the summit, ...

... and tell no one.

When Andrew Waugh was surveying Mt Everest in 1856 he came up with a height of exactly 29,000 ft. Fearing people would think that was just an imprecise estimation he reported it as 29,002 ft.

Because of this, some say he was the first to place two feet on the summit of Everest.

How can we stop people from dying on Mt. Everest?

climb it change

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A young lady is set to be the first woman to orgasm on the peak of Mount Everest.

Reports say that she'll be coming round the mountain when she cums.

Oh, you want to climb to the top of Mount Everest?

Did it PEAK your interest?

My friend and I are just in the middle of climbing Mount Everest. We are so exhausted, when we get to the top...

Me and Himalayaing down for a bit

In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.

Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

Why are mountains always tired?

Because they don't Everest.

Disney just launched a Mt. Everest attraction.

You wait in line, then die.

Burt and Mack are climbing Mount Everest.

Burt and Mack are climbing Mount Everest when suddenly Burt falls in to a crevasse 1000 ft. deep.
“Hey Burt! Are you alive?” shouts Mack from above.
“Yeah I am.”
“I’m going to drop down a rope, grab onto it and I’ll pull you out.”
“I can’t. My arms are broken.”
“Okay then w...

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A nude artist dies while climbing Mt Everest

Nobody paid them, they had to do it for the exposure.

A group of adventurers on Mount Everest have banded together to clean up the stuff left behind by past expeditions. It will likely take them at least 3 years.

More if there are any vegetarians. Less if they develop a taste for freezer burned meat.

What’s an Everest climber’s favorite song?

...let the bodies hit the floor.

I went to a restaurant on the summit of Mt. Everest.

I give it 3 stars. Food was good, not much atmosphere though.

What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?

A HIGH-POT-IN-USE

Who are the younger brothers of Mt. Everest?

Mt. Ever and Mt. Everer.

You know that you’re at the highest point in your life...

...when you’re smoking weed on Mount Everest.

Many people daydream about being on the top of Mount Everest,

It turns out they're already super high.

Rescue attempts are being made to save a bull stranded on Mt. Everest

Reports confirm that the steaks have never been higher.

I hear the view from Mount Everest is breathtaking...

literally.

I finally reached the Top of Mount Everest!

But things went really downhill from there...

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A guy climbs Everest...

At the middle a very sexy blonde stops him and asks:

-Do you want me or to succeed?

The ambitious climber replied:
-Succeed, succeed.

And continued to climb.

Only 100 m to the peak of the mountain, a gorgeous looking brunette stops him and asks:

-Do you want me ...

Father: "Son, you shall follow in my footsteps of escorting climbers up Mt Everest."

Son: "Sher pa."

An American biker decides to travel the world...

Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day.

One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Ha...

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Climbing Mount Everest, Bob complains about being in pain...

...the guide takes him to the side, points to the front of the group and says "Look at Vince, he's got no legs and he's leading the group, you have legs and you're at the back, what's your excuse?" He looks the tour guide in the eyes and replies "my fucking legs hurt"

Did i ever tell you the story about how I climed mount everest?

I made it up

An English, American and Mexican Guy Climb Up Everest...

They decide to sacrifice some things from their country as they are overflowing with these specific things. The English man grabs some tea and pours it off and says ' i have too much of this in my country' the Mexican man throws a taco off and says ' i have too much of this in my country' and finall...

Mt. Everest has lost its record status ...

... now that a British astronaut is Earth's highest Peake.

Pieces of cooked meat have been found on mount Everest recently...

The steaks have never been higher.

On my Bucket list:

1. Pail
2. Mop Bucket
3. Ice Bucket
4. Car Washing Bucket
5. Climb Mt. Everest
6. Livestock Bucket

My friend climbed the fourth highest mountain in the world. The next week, he climbed the third highest mountain, and the week after that he climbed the second highest one.

Gosh, will this guy Everest?

A blonde...

...works in a petrol station filling up cars. One day, a spaceship with 'UFO' written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flied off.

The blonde's boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.

"Do you know what 'UFO' s...

A man goes to a restaurant...

Where he seats himself at a table and browses the menu.

After settling on what he wants, he places the order with the waitress.

After his food arrives, he grabs his plate and leaves the restaurant, climbs into his car and drives to the airport.

There, he boards a plane to Nepal,...

What did one insomniac mountain climber say to the other?

"Bro, do you everest?"

Two guys were talking about pets

"Yeah, so I have a couple of cats and a chihuahua. What about you, Flynn?"

Flynn looked at the man with a look of both pain and peace. "Well, Danny... I had a dog once."

Daniel sympathetically responded. "What happened?"

Flynn let out a quiet sigh. "It's a long story."

Da...

I've spent three sleepless nights trying to think of a mountain pun.

I'm starting to think I won't Everest.

Safe Flying

A Catholic priest, a Protestant pastor, and a Buddhist monk decided to book a flight to Nepal. The priest and the pastor boarded flight 3392, but the monk's seat was given to another passenger by mistake. The monk wasn't the least bit upset. He simply went to the ticket counter and traded his boardi...

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Three guys are at the airport...

Three guys are at the airport, Bill, Peter, and Jack. Each one of them is there to send his boyfriend off on a flight to the neighbouring state. All three significant others board the flight, but as it is taking off it catches fire and smashes into the ground killing everybody on it. So after the fl...

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There was a young climber named Ed...

There was a young climber named Ed

No mountain could fill him with dread

Then he met a big fatty

named Pumpkin-Ass Patty

And he said, "I'll do Everest instead".

How to tell whether someone is an idiot

“Doctor, how can you tell whether someone is an idiot, even if he looks normal to you?”

“For that, we have special questions.”

“Can you name an example?”

“Mountaineer Brown climbed Mount Everest three times but he was killed during one of these ascents. Can you tell me which one...

What did the mountain climber name his horse?

Everest. Any time he is bored I see him Mount Everest.

I'M NO MOUNTAIN CLIMBER

I just finished this book on climbing Mt. Everest. Now I'm no mountain climber, but I smoke and I live on the third floor, so I can kind of relate. Everest is a lot like laundry day.

Downhill Skiing

3 rock climbers (Bob, Tim, Jack) were attempting to climb Everest. In a freak accident, Bob and Tim lost all of their supplies. Unable to progress any further, they decide to make camp and share jack's supplies. The three of them slept side to side, with bob and Tim on either side of jack. In the mo...

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