This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question."

Please form a single-file line. And they do so. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" The Sister Responds "Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger..." St. Peter says "Alright Sis...

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

Tequila

Why is cliff front property so expensive in Scotland?

The sheep back up harder.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Man Finds A Suicidal Woman On A Cliff

The Woman Is Crying and is about to jump, when the man says:

"Wait! How about... you give me the last blowjob of your life?"

The Lady, Non-chalantely: "Sure! Life sucks anyways."

After ejaculating, the man, exhausted, asks:

"Hehe, nice work. Why did you wanna die anyway?"...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Four Officers are standing next to a cliff..

One officer from the Army, Navy, Marines and Air Force.

The Army officer says "we're the toughest, watch this", and tells one of his troops to jump off the cliff. The troop jumps.

The Navy officer says "that's nothing", and tells one of his troops to do a back flip off the cliff. The t...

What do you call a car getting flung off a cliff?

Toyoted

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell off of a cliff.

Ba Dum Tss

I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought to myself...

Wow, this is ledge ‘n dairy!

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Three men are standing on a cliff

Each of them came here for the same thing, to jump off into the abyss. Suddenly a genie appears and tells them that instead of ending their life, they may each choose something to become instead.

They agree and the first man steps up to the edge. He jumps while proclaiming "EAGLE!" transform...

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Three men were about to cliff jump from this magical cliff

The first man told the other two about why it's a magical cliff " they say when you jump off if you yell what you want it will magically appear at the bottom of this cliff, replacing the water."

So the first man jumps off and yells "GOLD!" All of the water turned into gold coins, and the man ...

There’s a kid about to jump off a cliff.

His dad walks up and asks why he’s going to jump. The kid says, “I’m depressed and I hate your dad jokes.” “Hi depressed...”

What’s better than throwing a baby off of a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

My friend, Cliff, bought a plane

He used to fly around a lot but he's gotten old so he keeps it locked up in his...


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....

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff

... ba dum tsss

A bus full of cheerleaders went off a cliff

Miraculously, all twenty of them managed to grab onto the same branch sticking out of the cliffside. There were nineteen beautiful blondes and one brunette. The brunette saw the branch was starting to break, so she made a decision.

"Listen ladies," she said. "As skinny as we are, this branch ...

What do you call a cat that's on the edge of a cliff?

A precipuss.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My friend got a sex change operation done. I got so mad I told him to jump off a cliff.

but I dont think he has the balls.

A cowboy's horse died on his way to town...

As he was walking down the dusty trail, he happened across a ranch. With a renewed sense of hope, he asked the stable keeper if he had any horses for sale.

"Sorry, I've fallen on hard times myself. I had to sell all of my horses!"

The cowboy noticed a rather strange-looking horse stand...

A man is standing on a cliff and says to his wife “I bet I can make it to the bottom faster than you!”. She agrees to the bet and they both jump off at the same time. Who wins?

Charles Darwin

2 vans were driving on a road. Little did they know, the road led straight off a cliff.

They did not see it, so they kept going. They sped off the cliff. After falling for a while, they miraculously landed upright and were fine.

It’s cause they’re vans.

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A Bus filled with Catholic School girls droves off a cliff

A bus filled with Catholic school girls goes off a cliff and they all die. 

They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "Erica, have you ever had any contact with a penis? She giggles and shyly replies, "I once touched the head of one with the tip o...

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A Japanese tour bus drove off a cliff, and landed in a popular fishing spot

A rescue team was sent in. But all they could find were crushed Asians

How many mobsters do you need to push a man off a cliff?

None. He slipped and fell by himself.

If Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump fell off a cliff who would be saved?

America

What did the German boy say to his brother after their mom fell off a cliff?

Look Hans, no Ma!

A big moron and a little moron are walking by a cliff. The big moron falls off. Why doesn't the little moron fall too?

Because he's a little more on.

Did you hear the one about the cow farm on the White Cliffs of Dover?

You should have, It’s a ledge end dairy place

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An attractive, but disturbed woman stands at the edge of a cliff. As she peers over the edge, she feels there's someone watching her. Just as she suspected, there's a homeless man staring at her. He asks, "If you're going to kill yourself anyway, you mind if we have sex first?"

She tells him to piss off and to leave her alone. Clearly upset, the man mumbles to himself, "Fine, I'll just wait at the bottom."

What does a physicist say when they see somebody jump off a cliff

They shake their head and say “So much wasted potential”

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un jump off a cliff. Who wins?

Mankind.

A man walking along a cliffs edge falls over

As he falls he grabs root sticking out from the cliffs wall.

For dear life he screams and yells, “ CAN ANYONE HERE ME! I NEED HELP! DEAR GOD HELP ME!”

Loudly from the sky God speaks to him, “ My child, I’ll save anyone having faith in me. All you must do is release your hand from that...

I was clinging for dear life on the edge of the cliff...

As the rescue team approached, one of the guys shouted, "Whatever you do, don't look down!"

So I started smiling...

Why is the best place to teach physics on top of a cliff?

Because that's where the students have the most potential

A bus full of senators and deputies crashed and felled down a cliff.

A man happened to be walking by when the accident took place.

The man immediately started to bury all the senators and deputies involved in the accident.

A few minutes later, the police showed up on site.

Cop: What happened?! Where's everyone?!

Man: I buried them.

...

A Buddhist, a Christian, and a Muslim are standing on the top of a cliff.

The Buddhist says, "If I jump, Buddha will save me" and he jumps. As he's flying toward his doom, he's yelling "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha!" When he is about to hit the ground, a large hand swoops in and carries him to safety.

The Christian, seeing this, says, "If Buddha saved the Buddhis...

Two dinosaurs standing on a cliff

As they're looking out to sea, an ark floats past. One dinosaur turns to the other one and says,


'Oh, was that today?'

Why did the blonde drive her car off the cliff

She wanted to test her air breaks.

10 blondes and a brunette were hanging on a rope on the side of a cliff

However the rope cannot carry all 11, so one person has to be sacrificed. The brunette volunteers to sacrifice herself and proceeds to make a long touching speech. After she finishes, all the blondes clap and let go of the rope.

Why did the ram run off the cliff?

He missed the ewe turn

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3 guys on a cliff

There were 3 guys hanging out by a cliff. A genie appears and tells them that this is a magical cliff. Anyone who jumps off and yells something will land in the thing they yelled.

The first guy doesn't even hesitate. He does a swan dive off the cliff and yells "Car full of hot girls!". Poof! ...

A blonde and a brunette jump off a cliff at the exact same time. Who hits the ground first?

The brunette. The blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

A reporter is standing at the edge of a cliff contemplating suicide[Long]

a reporter in a small town is standing on the edge of a cliff contemplating suicide when as he is about to jump a road worker approaches him and asks "Are you going to jump?" The reporter replies "yep, there hasn't been a story in this town for years and I'm tired of it." The road worker thinks for ...

Why are cliffs good at poker?

Because they bluff

"Mommy, why are you pushing the car over the cliff?"

"Be quiet Timmy!", retorts the mother "You'll wake up Daddy!"

What did one leaf say to another when he jumped off a cliff?

"I Believe"

An Irishman falls down a cliff

When he hits the bottom he sees a man in a black cloak approaching him. The figure says "I have come for your soul." The Irishman looks confused for a second, then responds "Yes that was a big fall!". The cloaked man the says, "No, you died." to which the Irishman responds "I did not lie! I fell fro...

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Cliff and Billy are two farmers, who have been friends their entire lives.

Billy goes to Cliff's house, but he can't find him anywhere. Just as Billy is about to leave, he walks by the barn doors and sees Cliff through the gap. Cliff has his pants around his ankles and his dick in the exhaust pipe of his old John Deere.

"What the hell are you doing?" Bill exclaims.<...

Mixed emotions: watching a bus full of lawyers plunge off a cliff...

... with five empty seats.

My ex updated her status on Facebook to standing on the edge of a cliff.

So I poked her

My electric car fell off a cliff

But it was ok, because it fell like a leaf.

A bus full of ugly people is driving along a cliff

The bus driver makes a mistake as he eats a burger causing the bus to suddenly fall from the cliff killing all passengers aboard

The group of deformed men and women are woken in front of the pearly gates greeted by St Peter himself

"you lot have had a hard and unfortunate life and as t...

A climber fell off a cliff, and, as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch. "Help! Is there anybody up there?" he shouted.

A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:

"I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me."

"Yes, yes, I trust you!" cried the man.

"Let go of the branch," boomed the voice.

There was a long pause, and the man shouted up again, "Is there anybody else up the...

Why did the rock jump of the cliff?

It wanted to be boulder

3 people are standing on a cliff

They all must throw something off the cliff that their country/society has to much of. A Russian throws off vodka, a German throws off beer, and an American throws off a feminist.

Three construction workers were on their lunch break, sitting on the edge of a cliff next to the site they were working on.

One of the workers was Italian. He yelled, "I'm sick of pasta! If my wife packs me pasta one more time I will jump off this cliff!". The second worker was French. He screamed, "I'm sick of these damn croissants! If my wife packs me a croissant one more time, I'll jump off this cliff as well!". The t...

A drum and a cymbal fell off a cliff...

Badum tsss!
* (Sorry if it's a repost)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why did the Jew jump off the cliff?

He couldn’t resist a free fall.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three guys wandering beside a cliff find a golden lamp...

...one of the guys pick it and cleans it and because he rubbed it with his shirt, a genie pops out. He says to the 3 guys: “because you have woken me to see the world once more, I will grant each of you 1 wish. However you must jump and leap into your wish near the grass here!”

Filled with ex...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A distressed but attractive woman stands at the edge of a cliff, trying to get up the nerve to jump.

A passing hobo stops and says,"Since
you're about to kill yourself anyway,
would you mind if we had sex first?"

The woman replies,"Get away from
me, you sicko!"

The bum turns to leave and mutters,
"Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom."

A sheep,a pot and a snake walk together then fall of a cliff...

*Baah Dum Tssssss*

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

You know it's best to fuck the sheep the closest to the edge of the cliff?

They push back a little harder.

My friend fell off a cliff and I was just in time to grab his rope.

It was a tense situation.

The Priest's Horse

So, a man is travelling through the Midwest and is attempting to get two villages over to meet a friend.

By the time he has reached the first village he is running very late. He stops at the stables in the first village and asks to borrow a horse that he will return on his way home. The loca...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

(NSFW) The three Chinese tortures

A young man is lost, hungry and wandering around China. As he is wandering, he happens to find this old mansion on top of a cliff. He walks up to the door and rings the bell and an old man answers. The young man asks the older gentleman if he can have some food and spend the night. The old man agre...

2 men and their thirst for extreme!

2 men are standing on the ledge of a cliff... One man has a Budgie on his shoulder and the other has a parrot on his shoulder and a gun attached to his hip.

The first man with the Budgie, jumps off the cliff and as he falls the Budgie immediately flies away. The man plunges to the ground, mir...

"If you don't go out with me I'll jump off a 300-foot cliff."

"Sounds like a lot of bluff to me."

Help! Please explain this silly kids joke to me...

This joke has been bugging me on and off for around 30-years. I read it in some kind of '1000 jokes for kids' type book - probably written around 1985'ish. The joke is pretty stupid - and i'm reasonably sure it would still be pretty stupid if I actually understood it - however for some unexplained...

Hellen Keller falling down a cliff

Why couldn't she yell while falling down a cliff?

She was wearing mittens.

A bus carrying 53 politicians rolls off a cliff....

A farmer sees what happened and buries all the politicians.

Two hours later there are 100 reporters at the farmhouse to interview the poor fellow. One reporter asked him - did you make sure they were all dead before burying them?

The farmer replied - the truth is, some of them said th...

Cliffs are so great...

But they have one downside

Why did Hellen Keller's dog jump off a cliff?

If your name was *blpbleblpebplplb*, you would too

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three men were running from a Persian army when they came to the edge of a cliff...

With nowhere else to run, they prayed to their God for help, and an angel appeared. The angel said, "I will allow you to run and jump off this cliff to test your faith, and the first thing you scream after jumping will be what you transform into..."

The first man without hesitation ran and ju...

I once fired a cannon off a cliff

Looking back, using a cannonball would probably have been better.

An Australian man living by the cliff has prevent over 150 suicides, during the 50 years he has lived there...

... by shooting them himself.

I have a joke about cliff hangers...

But you're gonna have to wait for it

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Nazi, a Confederate and a Fascist have a competition to jump off a cliff. Who wins?

Society

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Tom had been in Police work for 25 years.

Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in the hills in Tasmania as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone...

I saw a man at standing on the precipice of a cliff and knew he was paranoid.

He jumped to a conclusion.

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