UPJOKE
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My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, "Which one do you want?"

I said I'd take either/oar.

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper...

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"<...

Can I sell kayak equipment if my dog peed on it?

Can I peddle a paddle if it's in a puddle of poodle piddle?

What do you do with a flaccid kayak?

You give it Niagra.

(originally a comment from u/din7)

A kayak instructor and a priest sit at the gates of heaven.

An angel says to them “sorry, but there is only room for one more person in heaven. “
He then leaves to go consult with the other angels. The priest says “it’s obviously going to be me because I’m the most spiritual.”
The angel then returns and says that the kayak instructor is going to go in....

Two guys were in a kayak when it got chilly

One of them lit a small fire in the back and it ended up sinking

Yep, you can’t have your Kayak and heat it too

Two men were kayaking down a cold river

They felt that if they didn’t do something soon, they’d freeze to death. So they decided to build a fire between them which ended up burning a hole through the vessel and sank it. This just goes to show you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

What does Donald Trump call two kayaks?

Fake canoes.

While watching Olympic kayaking, I was surprised at how bad the Cuban team was at paddling. Then I realized,

That's probably why they're still in Cuba.

Two penguins are kayaking through the desert...

One turns to the other and asks: "where's your paddle?"
The other responds: "sure does"

[paddling along the amazon silently in a kayak]

wife: "it's so beautiful"
me: "can you believe they named this after a website?"

A couple of outdoorsmen were on a lake in their kayak when they started getting cold. But when they lit a fire in their craft it immediately began to sink, proving once and for all that...

...you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Two people were on a kayak

Though because they were out for too long the place started getting colder and colder, they knew there was only one solution, to heat themselves the decided to light a fire on the craft.

Unfortunately it caught on fire and sank

Guess it goes to show that you can't have your kayak and h...

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak...

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak. They've been out all day, and the sun's setting. As the temperature drops, they decide to light a campfire on the watercraft, which, unsurprisingly sinks. This just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

The Egyptian kayaker who lost his paddle

just couldn't accept the fact that
&nbsp;

he was stuck in de nile.

Father and son go on a kayaking tour

When they get home Mom notices he has a swollen black eye.

Mom: "Omg, what happened to your eye?"

Son: "There was a huge mosquito in the kayak"

Mom: "Did he bite you?"

Son: "Nope, Dad killed it with the paddle"

Paddling joke.

I don’t like to brag but I can control a kayak brilliantly.

Canoe?

Boy: What's a palindrome?

Teacher: racecar

{10 years later}

Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome

Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]

Quiz show

I was on a quiz show once and they asked me to come up with a 5-letter palindrome that starts with K.

It's a pity, I was stumped but if I had answered correctly I'd have won a new kayak.

Did you hear about the kayaker that hit a submerged couch during the Rio Olympics?

It was a fabricated story.

Two Inuits are whale hunting

They have been out all day in their little boat. The wind starts to whip up and it's getting very cold. Their whale-skin coats aren't even cutting the chill. With each blast the cold eats at them. All of a sudden one of them jumps up and starts building a fire in the middle of the boat. He strips al...

Two Eskimos light a fire in their boat in an attempt to stay warm.

However, the fire burns through the boat and it sinks, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde is walking down the street...

As she passes a field, she notices another blonde in a kayak furiously beating the grass. She stops and watches, realizing whats happening and becomes irritated. Across the distance, she shouts, "Hey! What are you doing dummy! Youre giving us a bad name! If I could swim, I'd come over there and kick...

An Innuit is out fishing in his canoe one day, feeling fairly miserable because he's cold and he hasn't caught anything...

Suddenly, he hits upon the idea of lighting a camping stove in the bottom of the boat so that he can stay warm, and cook his catch at the same time. However, before too long, the canoe hits a large wave, causing the stove to tip over and start a fire in the canoe. Not wishing to get burned, the Innu...

Top 10 worst jokes!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.


2.A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."


3.Two peanuts walk into a ba...

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