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Motor Oil Jokes

What do you call motor oil from Cuba?

Fidel Castrol

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Not Another Russian Joke!

Three poor souls are languishing in Gulag and have violated the camp curfew. The punishment for the this is 10 lashes across the back. The camp warden is a somewhat compassionate and he allows the three to choose one item to place on their backs to minimize the injury.


The first prison...

Dear redditors, I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."r&...

Optimus Prime is at home, watching TV, when his power goes out.

Frustrated, he calls the electrical company, and they have someone sent over. As he goes to ask the lineman what's going on, he notices that his jaw won't move, so he goes to get some motor oil to lubricate his jaws.

10 minutes later, he arrives back at his house, his mouth full of motor oil....

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Doctor, my elbow hurts a lot.

A man comes to the doctor
- Doctor, my elbow hurts a lot.
- Please bring urine for analysis tomorrow.
The man got angry, because what has urine analysis got to do with the pain in his elbow. He decided to mock the doctor and poured his urine, his daughter's urine, his wife's urine int...

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After years of complaints, a mother finally gets sick of cooking dinner.

She makes a new family rule: whoever complains about dinner has to cook the next night. After a few rounds, dinner duty falls to the husband. But by now, everyone is sick of having to cook, so they all decide to stop complaining. Weeks go by. The dad is sick of cooking, but nobody complains about hi...

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Place urine sample here for diagnosis. [Long Joke]

A man walks into a doctor's surgery with a sore elbow. The receptionist tells him there is a one hour wait, so he sits down in the waiting area and starts looking around sheepishly and wondering whether his minor problem is worth such a wait for a diagnosis.

In the corner of the room he notic...

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Guy walks into a dr office complaining about a tennis elbow.

Dr- okay I need you to pee into a cup
Patient- why? It’s my EL-BOW!
Dr- ::sigh:: we have this new machine in back and all it needs is the patients urine and it will diagnose ANYthing. Will you just humor me?

The patient agrees, goes into the bathroom, produces a urine sample, hands the ...

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