UPJOKE
idiotimbecilecretinchangelinghalf-witsimpletondumbasscrazycitymetropolisargentinamongoloidsimplejackasstwit

Morons Jokes

I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th...

Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are people born with photographic memories?

Or do they take a while to develop?

Why the fuck are you morons spending real money on Reddit awards? Fucking STOP it. Reddit admins do NOT deserve any kind of money at all. The just banned 200 odd subreddits - and you fucking halfwits want to reward them for it.

Fuck's sake.

Two morons are sitting on a fence. The big one fell off, why didn't the other?

He was a little more on.

How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb?

14,000.

1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.

99% of Redditors are morons!

Im glad to be in the 99%.

9/10 Reddit Users are Morons

I'm glad I'm the 1%

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hal is telling the guys at the plant about the morons he saw this weekend.

"You wouldn't believe it," Hal said. "Four guys up at 5:30 on Saturday morning just swing at this little white ball try to get it in the hole."

"What kind of star-spangled moron gets up that early on a perfectly good Saturday morning just to play golf?"

One of the guys asks, "What we...

Two morons are at the train station.

The first moron asks the clerk, "Can I take this train to Chicago?"

"No," the clerk responds.

The second moron asks the clerk, "Can I?"

Ever wondered why only morons report being abducted by Aliens?

Because the Aliens don't keep the stupid ones.

Smart first grader

A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hepped-up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”

“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.

“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your...

Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched....

Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched.

One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.

After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.

Laying next to each other in intensive care at the ho...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like partic...

George Bush was visiting the queen of England...

when he asked her "I must say, you run a real tight ship over here, would you mind telling me some of your secrets or advice?".

The queen said "sure, its quite simple, I surround myself with smart people, for example, watch this". She then calls upon Tony Blair. "Tony, I have a simple questio...

truckers...

As a Polish truck driver is driving east he sees a truck driving west, and the CB crackles to life. "Hey, buddy, who are the two biggest morons in America?" comes from the CB.

"I don't know," says the Polack.

The other driver says, "You and your brother!"

"Screw you," says the P...

Why does Batman wear a mask?

Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis

I have a joke for all you sorting by new.

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

An **optimist** sees light at the end of a tunnel.

A *realist* sees a freight train.

The ***train driver*** sees three morons standing on the train tracks.

So I got my first covid vaccine shot today

Afterwards, I ran into a friend and told him about it.


He replied: Huh, you took the vaccine shot?

Me: Uhm yes, why wouldn't I?

Him: I thought you were an anti-vaxxer?

Me: What, no. Why would you think that?

Him: Well most morons are...

Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons

They forgot to mention Morons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redneck and an annoying stranger are sitting next to each other on a 12 hour plane ride...

The stranger is pretty well dressed and, after a few drinks becomes very loud and disruptive. He starts boasting that hes the smartest man on the plane. After a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to get people to engage with him, a stewardess tells the stranger he needs to be quiet and stop distur...

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half >!the population of the planet dead thanks to anti-vaxx morons actively working towards deleting herd immunity.!<

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.