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Mormon Church Jokes

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Guy goes to the doctor for a checkup and gets bad news. "You've got a rare disease and you've only got 6 months to live" he is told.

The patient is incredulous and tells the doctor he's going to get a second opinion.

He finds another doctor a few days later and after a battery of tests, this doctor gives him the same bad news. Patient is in shock and asks if there's anything he should do.

The doctor pauses a moment ...

In the Mormon Church there is a family that has recently been baptized.

After a month of being new members the Bishop calls them in separately to see how they are doing. During an interview with the father, the bishop asks,
“Will you give a talk next Sunday in Church?”
The new convert replies, “Sure, but what would you like me to give my talk on?”
“On anything ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the prostitute join the Mormon church?

She wanted a high paying missionary position.

An Irishman walks into a Dublin bar, orders three pints of Guinness, and drinks them down, taking a sip from one, then a sip from next, until they are gone.

He then orders three more . The bartender says, "You know,they'd be less likely to go flat if you bought them one at a time."
The man says, "yeah, I know, but I have two brothers, one in the States, one in Australia. When we went our separate ways, we promised each other that we'd all drink this ...

What has more minivans than a dealership?

A Mormon church parking lot....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man Goes To His Doctor for a Complete Checkup

He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you only have one year to live." the doctor says.

"Oh no, that's terrible. Is there anything I c...

Remembering Brothers

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of brew and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it so it woul...

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