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Mormons Jokes

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What do Mormons play instead of "Fuck, Marry, Kill"?

Marry, Marry, Marry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God invented Mormons so...

...Christians would know how Jews feel.

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Beleive it or not, Mormons do have sex.

Let that fact soak in.

What do the Brits call Mormons?

knock knock blokes.

I want to go to Utah so I can do acid with Mormons in a best buy looking for graphics cards

I'll call it my LSDLDSDLSS adventure

Mormons are really nice people. They all smile at you.

Some of them even blink.

How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?

Two.
If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

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Two Mormons knock on an old Englishman's door...

The old man opens the door and smiles at the two fine gentlemen dressed in white dress shirts and black ties. They say, "Hello, we're with the church of Latter-day Saints and we're here to spread the gospel of God. Do you mind if we come in to speak with you?" The old man replies with a smile, "Sure...

Mormons be like, “you know what’d be fun?”

Doesn’t matter.

Mormons believe...

Mormons believe in wife after death.

What's the difference between Mormons and Baptists?

Baptists say hello to each other in the liquor store

Why do Mormons get away with murder?

The all share DNA

Why do Mormons get married on Black Friday?

Because they get 2 for 1.

What's the difference between the Mormons and Donald Trump?

One has millions of religious zealots that think you're going to Hell and the rest of the world can't stand. The other's a church.

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What do R. Kelly fans and Mormons have in common?

They both defend sexual predators.

How many Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don’t know, they keep coming to my house and they aren’t changing anything.

Why do Mormons think Christ’s second coming will be in America?

Because they think he will end their Missouri.

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What cell carrier do Mormons use?

Virgin Mobile

What do methheads and Mormons have in common?

They both ride bikes and go on missions.

Why don't the mormons just open their own Hospital if praying really works?

Because you can't make money off of prayers.

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How many Mormons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

3. One to screw in the lightbulb and two to go on a mission and tell everyone about it!

Edit*: tried to fix the 1 into a 3 but my Reddit app is being a bitch.

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