The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single.

The only married person was Otis, & he was the town drunk.

I used to date a girl called Lorraine but now i'm with Clara.

I can see Clara now Lorraine has gone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paul goes to school...

Paul goes to school...

Teacher announces, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable word. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”

Clara says " Att-ract-ive"

Miss Reynolds " Clara, that's great! well done!"

Barry "Dan-ger-ous"

Again Miss Reynolds ...

My wife caught me cheating

My wife, Lorraine, has just found out that I have been cheating on her with Clara next door. Last night, she packed her things and was off on her way.

I can see Clara now, Lorraine has gone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Di...

So there's this barber in a small town...

So there's this barber in a small town. One day he's sitting in his barbershop and a man walks in wearing a pair of sandals, and a long brown robe with a hood. The man sits down in the barber's chair. "Excuse me," says the barber. "I was wondering: why are you dressed like that?"
"Well," says th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two drunk men go to a brothel

Two drunk men go to a brothel and the woman in charge tell them that only Clara is available. The less drunk man looks at the other, then says to the woman "Look at him, he is so much drunk he can't even stand. Give him a inflatable love doll, he won't make a difference". The woman agreed and both m...

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