Two electrons were following quantum physics principles, as usual, while exchanging virtual protons to conduct an electric current

One electron said to the other, "This quantum trading stuff sounds like imaginary nonsense; if I can carry meaningful information faster than the speed of light, then I will."

The remaining electron watched his former partner depart into the nether, sighed, then said to his collar microphone,...

Protons, neutrons and electrons

Are the little things that matter.

I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons.

I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.

You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons.

Isn’t that Ionic?

A human losing weight is like an atom losing electrons

Everything is positive after that.

There were three electrons going on a tour

Of Rhode Island. They are walking around happily when the police came and arrested one of them.

Despite protests from his friends , he was thrown across the state borders and asked to never come back. But him being a sport sneaked back across that night itself.

The next day, they were ...

My blanket kept losing electrons.

It was my fault: the instructions said I shouldn't use an ion.

Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons

They forgot to mention Morons.

"You have to help me," the atom says, "I've lost one of my electrons!"

"Are you sure?" it's asked

"Yes — I'm positive!"

What will electron say if proton and neutron come to electrons home...

Make yourself atom

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why, what, who?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does...

Nuclei and Electrons are the original hipsters of the universe.

They were hydrogen before it was cool.

All Electrons were having the party

All Electrons were having the party

Suddenly protons attacked them..

A hero came and saved the electrons..

Electrons asked hero: "Who are you ?? "

.

.

.

.

Hero said : " BOND .. COVALENT BOND "

What did the unhappy factory electrons do?

Unionize

What do politicians, naked women, and electrons all have in common?

**They change their behavior when being observed.**
(Does anything else?)

An crying man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What's wrong?" The man replies "My brother was just sentenced to 5 years prison time. he was taking gold, removing all of the electrons and selling the gold ions for profit!"

The bartender replies "Damn, those are some serious charges."

Why does texas have no power?

Democrats stole the electrons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like partic...

Who did King Arthur leave in charge of watching his eight electrons?

Sir Valence!

What do you call a group of electrons staging a coup?

The Resistance

Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?

Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!

Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons?

He was arrested and charged.

...this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.

Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.

They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"

It replys "I'm positive."

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