iPhone users, don’t bother sending the “Meteor” emoji to your Android friends...

...It won’t have the same impact.

Why did the Earth smell so bad after the meteor hit it?

Because afterwards the dinosaurs were all egg stink.

Can you just imagine how pterosaurs felt seeing that meteor entering the earths atmosphere?

Probably pterofied.

Did you know you can crack open a meteor like an egg?

Of course you can, the real yolk is always in the comets.

How is a meatball different than a meteor?

It’s meatier.

Why was the vegan comet upset?

As he entered the atmosphere he became a little meteor.

a meteor strikes the earth killing everything and the only surviving life form is a hungry alpaca.

ALPACALIPS

Back in the olden days, Meteors were NOT allowed on Earth...

After a long run of protests and lobbying by Meteor advocate groups, all of Earth now has meteor rights.

What are people who study meteors called?

Weatherologist

What's the difference between a pork chop and a small rock entering Earth's atmosphere from space?

One's meaty, but the other is a little meteor.

What did the meteor say to the planet?

Lemme smash

New Pope

There were two Roman Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy. Faithfully, they attended parochial school from kindergarten through their senior year in High School.
...

What did the dinosaur say when the meteor hit?

Meteor-aight imma head out

Friends invited me to a meteor shower party, but I couldn't make it.

They were crushed.

My girlfriend likes golden meteor showers

(I have kidney stones)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last time i had sex was just like the time a meteor wiped out the dinosaurs...

it happened so long ago ive forgotten the details.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I watch a meteor shower

Does it feel violated?

(x-post shittyaskscience)

A team of astronomers have been preparing for a meteor shower for weeks.

When the day of the spectacle came, onlookers looked up to the sky, but saw nothing different. When reporters confronted the head astronomer about this blunder, embarrassed, he responded "No comet."

Why did the space rock eat the hamburger?

It wanted to be meteor.

Yo mama so fat, the only way she gets clean

is during a meteor shower

Would you like to go see a meteor shower?

What are you some kind of pervert?!?

If a meteor goes to a restaurant,

Would he prefer his sandwich to be vegan, or even meteor?

What's the point of the quarantine?

We are all going to die from a meteor in April anyway.

A meteor shower destroyed the Red Cross headquarters.

All Perseids went to charity.

I voted for Giant Meteor for 2016

Guess I'll just hope for another.

Would you rather eat a chicken leg or a shooting star?

You'd probably say the chicken, but I'd pick the star... it's a little meteor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How would the Nazis have killed the dinosaurs?

With meteor showers.

What did the black hole say after it swallowed an asteroid?

"It was good, but I wish it been a little meteor."

Do vegetarians prefer moons or asteroids?

Moons, because asteroids are are a little meteor.

(Made up for my kids today)
#dadjoke #sorry

Why do Moon Rocks taste better than Earth Rocks?

Because they're a little Meteor

Why do vegans hate astronomy?

Near Earth Objects are a bit meteor for their tastes

Why are asteroids vegetarians?

Because they aren't meteors.

Why did the dinosaur newspaper shut down?

It's ratings were killed off by social meteor!

I thought I saw a shooting star but turns out it was dust on the telescope...

Turns out it was a meteor-wrong!

Many dinosaurs were very religious

In fact, prior to the meteor strike that killed them off, the most devout dinos were taken to Heaven. It was The Velocirapture.

A meteorite fell in my backyard this morning.

It just... came out of the blue!

Two friends were playing a game

The game was where one person would hide a bunch of fake frogs alongside one real one. If the person were to hear a croak, they’d have to determine if it were real or fake. If they thought a fake frog croak was real, they lost. If they found the real frog croak, they won.

Billy was playing wi...

One space rock, said to the other space rock, “got any more gossip on the affair?” The other space rock replied, “yeah, turns out Carl’s mistress... is a man!”

Space rocks always love when the story gets meteor.

The Worst Natural Disaster

So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.

* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a dee...

In the year 2030,

In the year 2030, space travel was expanding more than ever, and life science was seeing new revolutions every few weeks. Inventions in robotics and engineering were being created almost daily. But this new world came with a downside, the amount of harsh chemicals in the air were causing cancer to d...

Hey,​ doc. I think I have a space illness.

D: Like a space adaptation syndrome?

M: No, doc, more like meteorism.

I hope Elon Musk sent the Tesla to space with some change.

He’ll need some way to pay the parking meteor.

Where do astronauts leave their spacecraft?

At parking meteors.

TIL that dinosaurs used hot springs to take baths

But as time advanced they moved onto meteor showers.

Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?

Because they're meteor

[Joke]It's the end of the world!

It's the end of the world, as a meteor will hit the Earth in one hour, and everyone is scrambling to shelters worldwide. However, to enter, the United States, broke even now, requires 25 cents to enter, only quarters.

Billy and his granddad are hurrying to the shelter, however, when they get ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

End of the world

Two men are at the bar drinking, when all of a sudden a breaking news report comes on. "Breaking news, the world will end in one week! According to top scientist a meteor will hit the Earth in 7 days!" The first man looks at his friend and say, "so what are you going to in your last days?" To this h...

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