Meteorologist Jokes

In the cloud.

The job is full of high pressure.

Why do women hate sleeping with meteorologists?
They say to expect 4-8 inches and you only get 2

A Rain-Bow

“Hmmm a low pressure place,” he says.

A young First Nations chief in Canada has just taken over leadership of his tribe, and wants to do the very best for his people. Since it is autumn, he tells them they should gather firewood for the coming winter, so they start to do that. But the young chief still has doubts - what if they don't ... read more

"How bad will this winter be?" He asked.

"It is good to be prepared. Get some firewood ready" replied the chief.

The chief then called his friend in the national weather service to ask him. " How bad will this winter be?"

The meteorologist said "this will be a pretty cold winter... read more

Because it was unfair in height

They're always under the weather.

If you attacked a meteorologist with a lime green morph suit no one would realize what's going on.

They only expect 3 to 5 inches

They are sitting on a hill overlooking an office building which has just opened for the day. As they eat, they see 100 business people enter and 101 exit.

The meteorologist says, "Well within my margin of error".

The biologist says, "I suppose one of them gave birth".

The mathem... read more

Number 5 will blow you away.

It’s called Weather or Not.

The losers got precipitation trophies.

After the palace meteorologist assured them there was no chance of rain, the King and the Queen went fishing.

On the way, they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and they asked the man if the fish were biting. The fisherman said, "Your Majesties, you should return to the palace... read more

When asked "why?" he replied, "Tropical Depression."

He says, “Boss, I need a transfer out of Florida. Please send me anywhere but Florida.”

The boss says, “Well, why’s that Bill? What’s wrong with Florida?”

The meteorologist says, “The weather in Florida just doesn’t agree with me.”

Flake news

Two well dressed men are talking at a rooftop bar about 70 stories from the ground floor. They over hear a guy talking about how he's a hedge fund manager and how much money he makes. One of the well dressed men mentions to his friend how much he hates hedge fund managers. His friend agrees.
The ... read more

They promise you 12+ in, but you only get 4.

Inspired by today's "storm" in New England. Stay safe out there!

You won't lose your job if you are wrong.

A meteorologist

Fool me 350,000 times, you're probably a meteorologist

He said, "I don't know its up in the air".

An Indian chief goes to the village shaman and asks him if this year's winter will be harsh. The shaman thinks about the question for a while, does his thing and says "oh yeah, it will be a terrible winter"

So the village stockpiles everything they can as to survive the terrible winter. Winte... read more

decided to call his local National Weather Service office to see what kind of winter was expected. The forecaster replied, "Well, it looks like it will be cold." So the chief gathered his tribe together and warned them that the winter would be cold, so they needed to start collecting fire wood.
<... read more

He was a meteorologist.

Your rusty vehicle's resale value only goes up if you remember to put the snow tires on them during the winter.

You ever got into a shouting match based on which college hockey team you're a fan of.

You've ever used expired gas station sushi as bait for ice fishing.

(You're re... read more

I thought it was crazy. I should've left it at that. But I'm a sucker for a good misconception… and I was due for a raise.

I waited for a nice rainy day. Not a misty day, or a drizzle. It had to be full-on rain. Inevitably, the day arrived and I requested a meeting with my boss. He listened i... read more

6.5 inches if it's male meteorologist that forecasts.

The agnostic meteorologist wonders whether or not there is weather or not.

But atleast we get our weather information from meteorologists and not groundhogs.

The Chief of a Native American tribe calls the weather service and asks "How harsh will the winter be this year?" The meteorologist replies "Oh, it should be a bit cold and snowy." The Chief sends the men from his tribe to the forest to gather some wood for the winter.

A couple weeks later, ... read more

One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist.