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The editor rejected my book, he said my metaphores are incomprehensible...

I'm sad as a coconut.

Due to popular demand, **EDIT**: metaphors*... Freakin' grammar nazis... On a second thought, maybe grammar also played a role in my rejection, who knows...

Metaphors aren't like similes.

Metaphors are similes.

I have this weird problem where I can't understand metaphors, unless they are also ladder-related puns.

My psychologist keeps is trying to find some Holy Rail of a solution, but I'm pretty content to continue to sweep it under the rung.

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

I hate it when people confuse reality with metaphors...

It makes my head literally explode!

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally

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A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Anyone else confused by these new sexual metaphors?

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English Literature Class

Professor starts the literature class. "Today's lesson is metaphors. A metaphor conceptualizes and exaggerate a big thing into a small creative image. As an example you can say 'The snow is a white blanket' instead of saying that snow is white. Can anyone say a similar metaphor ? "

"Tom Crui...

What do Jedi Knights say to encourage the use of analogies?

Metaphors be with you

Knock-Knock Joke given to me by a Star Wars fan

Knock Knock

Who's There?


Metaphors who?

Metaphors be with you

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There's an Italian in a language class.

"Today we are learning about similes and metaphors. Can anyone give me an example" says the tutor.
A Spaniard pipes up "My wife dances salsa like a goddess"
Then a french man has his turn "My wife has pubes like a forest"
The Italian guy likes how this language works, so he has a try "I met...

I have just read an interesting dictionary.

It had literally no metaphors.

I'll ^show^myself^out...

I was watching Star Wars in English Class

And a classmate says "metaphors be with you"

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