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Simile Jokes

I'm not very good at similes

I'm like a guy that's not very good at similes

I went on a date with a girl called simile.

I don't know what I metaphor.

I had a girlfriend who couldn't understand what a simile was.

Gosh, what's that like.

So I went on a date with this woman who didn’t stop using similes all evening...

I don’t know what I metaphor.

No one ever explained to me what a simile was

I can’t tell you what that was like

A guy starts working at a bakery

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

What does an English teacher say when taking a group picture

Simile

I've got a horrible memory.

I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.

I’m pretty indifferent about most literary devices...

...but I avoid similes like the plague.

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