UPJOKE
figure of speechmetaphoranalogywitticismaphorismphraseologyalliterationmetonymymalapropismsimulacrumparablelikesimilaritytropeimage

I went on a date with a girl called simile.

I don't know what I metaphor.
upvote downvote report

I had a girlfriend who couldn't understand what a simile was.

Gosh, what's that like.
upvote downvote report

No one ever explained to me what a simile was

I can’t tell you what that was like
upvote downvote report

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...
upvote downvote report

A prose met a metaphor at a junction and asked what style are we using for the form papers to which the simile who just happened to walk by responded with

The subjective object of not writing :)
upvote downvote report

I'm not very good at similes

I'm like a guy that's not very good at similes
upvote downvote report

So I went on a date with this woman who didn’t stop using similes all evening...

I don’t know what I metaphor.
upvote downvote report

What does an English teacher say when taking a group picture

Simile
upvote downvote report

Why is the Joker's makeup like a whitewashed tomb, his lips like torn paper, his eyes like burning suns?

Because when he was young, the Joker's father said
"Let's put a simile on that face!"
upvote downvote report

I've got a horrible memory.

I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

I’m pretty indifferent about most literary devices...

...but I avoid similes like the plague.
upvote downvote report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information