I had a girlfriend who couldn't understand what a simile was.

Gosh, what's that like.

So I went on a date with this woman who didn’t stop using similes all evening...

I don’t know what I metaphor.

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

Nobody ever explained similes to me;

I honestly cannot tell you what it has been like.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

Metaphors aren't like similes.

Metaphors are similes.

I once dated a girl called Simile

Now I don't know what I Metaphor ;)

I've got a horrible memory.

I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.

I’m pretty indifferent about most literary devices...

...but I avoid similes like the plague.

What does an English teacher say when taking a group picture

Simile

Why is the Joker's makeup like a whitewashed tomb, his lips like torn paper, his eyes like burning suns?

Because when he was young, the Joker's father said
"Let's put a simile on that face!"

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