UPJOKE
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Simile Jokes

I went on a date with a girl called simile.

I don't know what I metaphor.

I had a girlfriend who couldn't understand what a simile was.

Gosh, what's that like.

No one ever explained to me what a simile was

I can’t tell you what that was like

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

A prose met a metaphor at a junction and asked what style are we using for the form papers to which the simile who just happened to walk by responded with

The subjective object of not writing :)

I'm not very good at similes

I'm like a guy that's not very good at similes

So I went on a date with this woman who didn’t stop using similes all evening...

I don’t know what I metaphor.

What does an English teacher say when taking a group picture

Simile

Why is the Joker's makeup like a whitewashed tomb, his lips like torn paper, his eyes like burning suns?

Because when he was young, the Joker's father said
"Let's put a simile on that face!"

I've got a horrible memory.

I couldn't remember what onomatopoeia or metaphor meant and then BAM it hit me like lighting. It was like the time I remembered similes and realized I am dumb as a box of rocks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

I’m pretty indifferent about most literary devices...

...but I avoid similes like the plague.

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