A man named Bart walks into a bar

The bartender shoots him immediately

Do you know why Moe and Bart never got along?

It’s because Moe was a Bart-ender

Why does Bart Simpson always prank call Moe?

Because he's a Bart ender

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Homer say to Bart when he couldn't please his uninterested crush?

You're a simp, son.



(Of course it's bad. I just wanted to get this shit out of my system.)

Who killed Bart?

The bartender

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Conspiracy theorists think that Vice President Cheney stole someone's identity, and that his birth name is actually Bart.

It's not true. I've met him. He's a real Dick.

Bart Simpson goes to a bar

He introduces himself to the barkeep and orders a drink that is enthusiastically provided to him.
Bart downs the drink, keels over and dies.

A patron sitting at the bar observing all this exclaims to the bar keep, "Oh my God! What just happened? Did you just poison Bart Simpson?!"

T...

A man walks into a bar...

The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

The man replies "I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I've decided I'm going to drink myself to death."

The bartender looks shocked and says "I'm sorry I can't help you kill yourself."

The man asks "Well what would you do...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with an immensly large dick enters a bart

Bart screams

The adventures of Farty Bart

Bart was a regular fellow, quite charming actually. But he farted often than most.


Bart has obatined that sweet sweet yes from the girl of his dream, they agreed to a date on his now girlfriend's house.


They were eating, chatting, laughing, until he had the sudden urge to fart....

Apple is developing a product—invented by Bart Simpson—that cleans your vehicle.

The iCaroomba

What's the difference between Moe and Sideshow Bob?

Ones the bartender, the others the Bart ender.

Homer Simpson takes his yellow, spiky-haired son to a bar. The bartender pulls up a shotgun and aims it at the boy.

I regret saying this, but the bartender lives up to his name.

I'm a dad. Here's my joke: Why would Bart Simpson never go to a pub?

Because there's a BartEnder there.

What did they call it when Bart Simpson met Steve Jobs?

iCaramba

Black Bart

A man rides into an old west town and he notices as he's riding up that there's no one around. He heads over to the sheriff's office and knocks on the door, when he does he hears a shout from around the building. As he rounds the building to see what's up he sees a man in the window, and is surprise...

“What’s your name?" asked a policeman when he stopped me.



"Bartholomew." I said.



"And your last name?" he continued.



"It's always been Bartholomew." I said.

A Bartender walks into a bar.

\*Bart's life flashes before his eyes as he's mercilessly shot four times in the chest\*

There's this bartender . . .

It's the wild west and a bartender is behind the bar, polishing glasses and going about his normal day's work. Suddenly, a man bust through the saloon doors and yells, "y'all gotta get out of here! Big Bad Barts comin!"

Half of the patrons rush out the front, while the other half runs to the...

“Doctor, my hearing is getting worse...”

- Can you explain the symtoms?
- Well, Homer is fat, bald and ugly; Bart is...

Doctor, doctor, I think my hearing's going!

What are the symptoms?

Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie

I finally did it! I got my bartending license!

If your name is Bart I will END YOU.

What would Sideshow Bob be if he served drinks?

A Bart-ender!

The Bee Joke

Once, there was a bee who lived in a very complex bee hive. All the bees residing in this hive lived very happily with their own tasks and aspirations. However, this particular bee, named Bart, was quite special. He was an incredibly intelligent bee who matured and learned far faster than his bee pe...

Erwin the Bounty Hunter

Erwin the bounty hunter rides into town with a box strapped to his horse behind him. He rides up to the mayor, holds up the "Wanted" poster, and says, "I've got Bart the Bandit here just as you requested: 'Dead and alive'."

The mayor replies, "The poster says 'Dead OR alive', not 'Dead AND al...

I had it rough growing up. No friends, at all...

It was just me and Black Bart,

My imaginary enemy.

Why does Sideshow Bob look up to Moe?

Because Bob also wants to be a Bart-Ender.

The Bubba Joke--long

Bubba is talking to his friend in a bar and boasts to his friend that he knows everyone in the world. His friend, of course, doesn’t believe him.
“If you know everyone in the world, name everyone in this bar.” Bubba proceeds to name everyone—Joey, Rachel, Sam, Johnny, Bart, until everyone is name...

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