What’s the difference between Kim jong un and dominoes ?

Dominoes can deliver a crispy Hawaiian in less than 30 minutes

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"Your sign outside says 3 strippers for 4.99... We talking topless or fully nude?"

"Sir this is Dominoes pizza. They're chicken strippers."

"Ok ok, now the price makes sense... How long is each dance?"

The new CEO

A particularily large manufactuing company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them k...

TIL: if you push one pizza delivery man over, all the pizza delivery men fall over.

It's known as the domino's effect.

What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos?

Pizza-rrhea

You order one pizza and you love it

You order one pizza and you love it. Next time you order a pizza and a garlic bread. Before you know it, you're eating pizzas for every meal and you get withdrawal symptoms if you don't get one...

That's the domino effect...

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The other day I beat my son at dominos.

I was going to wait till we got home, but the little shit dropped the pizza.

I played dominos last night.

I ordered six pizzas and didn't collect them.

I just beat my wife at dominos again...

When will she learn that **I** choose the pizza toppings?

I'm like Domino's Pizza.

If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

I had Domino's for dinner last night...

I almost choked to death on double six.

Fats Domino died after falling onto another family member...

Who fell onto another family member, Who fell onto another family member, Who fell onto another family member, Who fell onto another family member...

Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza...

^(The salesgirl asked him: Do you want your usual?, deep pan, crisp and even?)

I beat my wife at dominoes last night...

She really needs to remember that **I** choose the toppings.

My father beat me at dominoes yesterday.

He said, “I’m the only one who chooses pizza toppings.”

What is the opposite of Domino's?

Domi doesn't know

Domino’s pizza has just opened a chain of VD clinics!

It’s for after you’ve had the hots with the box with the dots....

My friend told me a joke about dominos.

It had a really long setup, but in the end it fell flat.

Fats Domino died.

Ain’t it a shame.

R.I.P. Fats

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Hello! Mr. Hussein?

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy up in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Sadd...

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It's Career Week in the parochial school...

(OK, real old one but=)

It's Career Week in the parochial school. One day, when all the parents who've come to explain their jobs have done their presentations and gone, Sister Mary Domino has some time to kill, so she has the children stand up, one at a time, and say what THEY want to be wh...

How does one outpizza the hut?

I don't know but Dominos

Karen served wild mushrooms to the church group.

A group of country friends from the Wildwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Tom and Karen to be the hosts, Karen wanted to outdo all the others. Karen decided to have mushroom-sm...

20 Things to do Before You Die...

1) Look at see through glass and when someone is on the other side shout "OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"
2) Bring a big chair into the elevator facing away from the door and when someone walks in, dramatically turn and say 'we've been expecting you.'
3) Walk up to someone, hand them a potato, look t...

If all the Dominos employees in the world held hands..

you'd have to make your own pizza

I told the guy at the counter at Domino's that I wanted a pizza.

He said, "What would you like on top of that?"

I said, "Nothing, just the pizza."

Two guys at a yard sale are chatting, one says “whatcha got there, pal?”

“Fella over there sold me a bunch of dominoes, a paint can, a ball, and a mousetrap”

“What in the hell would you need all that junk for?”

“He said I can use it to crack an egg”

“You’re such a rube, Goldberg”

what did the domino's pizza delivery guy say to Satan?

The power of crust compels you.

I murdered the pizza delivery man for messing up my order and had to cover it up.

I ordered another pizza to calm my nerves and the second delivery man noticed the body, so I had to kill him too. Now I feel even more nervous so I ordered yet another pizza. I think it’s starting to become a domino effect.

Can you out Pizza the Hut?

Yes, but only by Dominos effect

(Sorry for the horrendous pun)

They demolished my local Domino's Pizza shop...

yesterday, and then all the other shops on the street fell down.

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I wish the name of a business would describe what it sells...

Curry's doesn't sell curries, dominos doesn't sell dominoes, and the virgin megastore, what a disappointment.

Why did all of the Pizza chains fall?

Idk, I guess it was a Domino effect

I'm so sorry....

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Old man goes to the doctor...

An older gentleman goes to the doctor and tells him he has erectile dysfunction. The doc scratches his chin, and then snaps his fingers.

"I've got just the thing for you! This is a new medicine; just cleared clinical trials. You'll feel like you're twenty again!"

"Anything to get me ba...

How do you make an art student’s car go faster?

Just remove the huge Dominoes sign on top!

Man: "Can I have a pizza with liver and onions."

Dominos: "We don't do liver."

Man with hand over the phone whispering to his wife, "I thought you said they do the liver?"

Wife: "I said they do deliver."

Man: "Not according to this guy."

You murder one pizza delivery driver, and then you have to murder another pizza delivery driver.

That's the domino effect

Pizza for dinner

Someone knocked at my door last evening. When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino's holding a chicken pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and onion rings.

"I haven't ordered any pizza," I said. "This must be a mistake."

"No, it's not," he replied. "Your neighbor forgot his Facebook pass...

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a drummers car?

Take the Domino's sign off the roof.

Champ, the much-loved pub mascot.

Ted was the landlord of the Nag's Head pub. Every night, the same guys would turn up, have a few pints of beer, share a conversation and the occasional game of darts or dominoes. At 8pm every night, Ted would receive a visit from one of his other regulars - Champ, a stray dog who always came for a b...

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My favorite Halloween joke

So a black man and his wife were invited to a halloween costume party. The man being a very busy person when it came to work tells his wife "Look I need you to buy me a costume for the party since I'm busy with work." She agrees and he goes off to work as usual.

He comes home that night and ...

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The Costume Party

A couple is excited about a costume party they have just been invited to. The husband, who is black, asked his wife to just pick up a costume for him since he’ll be too busy at work to get one himself. She excitedly agrees.

The next day, he comes home and finds a Batman suit waiting for h...

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