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What did the leper say to the prostitute?

**You can keep the tip.**

It's hard to tell jokes about lepers

They always seem to fall apart at the end.

Where can a leper find his feet?

Where he left them.

The leper was upset at the expensive ambulance ride to the hospital

It cost him an arm and a leg

How did the leper hockey game end?

There was a face off in the corner.

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Did you ever hear the one about the leper and the prostitute?

After he was done he said "I left you the tip"

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(NSFW) A leper goes to a sex club. A girl takes him into a room. When they finish, he says...

β€œYou can keep the tip.”

What does a leper say to pick a fight?

You wanna piece of me?!

Why was the leper caught speeding?

Because he couldn't take his foot off the accelerator.

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Yesterday I told a leper a joke.

He laughed his ass off.

Why was the leper baseball match cancelled?

People started throwing hands

Did you hear about the leper who tried out for American college football team?

Started as a fullback, then was a halfback and ended up a quarterback.

The leper failed his driving test.

He left his foot on the clutch.

A leper gave me head last night.

She said I can keep it.

Three lepers were playing cards...

One threw his whole hand in, the second cried his eyes out and the third laughed his head off

Why don't lepers use the Internet?

Because they're digitally challenged.

Leper Jokes

Why did they stop the leper football game? There was a hand off at the fifty yard-line.



Why did they stop the leper hockey game? There was a face off in the corner.



Why did they stop the leper baseball game? Somebody dropped a ball in left field.



(I us...

How do you get a Leper out of a bath?

With a sieve

What do you call a jumping leper?

A leaper.

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Did you hear about the Leper going for the masturbation world record?

Eventually he pulled it off!

What's the difference between a leper and a leopard?

A leopard can hang on to a limb.

Welcome to the 23rd annual Leper Colony marathon! We now go down to our racers at the start of the first leg.

Aaaaaand they're off!

A pothead and a leper are in jail

and suddenly lepers' right foot starts to itch. He scratches it against the wall and it falls off. He takes it and tosses it through their cell window.


The pothead is looking at the leper and lights up a joint.


Suddenly lepers' left foot starts to itch. He scratches it against ...

How do lepers treat hookers like waitresses?

They always leave a tip

A leper walks into a bar & tells the bartender...

A leper walks into a bar & tells the bartender "I know I'm disgusting looking but If you could please serve me a scotch I'd be grateful, I'll leave if I'm too much to stomach." Bartender says "No problem, as long as your paying I'll pour."

So the bartender pours the leper a drink & th...

What do you call four lepers in a hot tub?

Porridge.

What do you call an epileptic leper taking a bath?

Porridge.

I sometimes do stand-up comedy for a leper colony.

My jokes have them all cracking up.

What do you do if a leper shakes your hand?

You give it back.

A Leper Walks Into A Bar

A leper walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender gives it to him, then immediately turns around and throws up. The leper, being a leper, was used to this kind of thing, and didn't think much of it.

The leper finishes his beer and orders another one. The bartender gives it to him, the...

I don’t know how to feel about my leper friend...

On one hand, he gave me leprosy, on the other... oh wait.

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Never accept fellatio from a leper.

When they say they're going to give you head, they mean it literally.

Never play poker with lepers.

They always throw their hands in.

Why did the referee blow his whistle at the leper hockey game?

There was a face off at centre ice.

What's a leper's favorite musical?

Footloose.

How do you recognize a surprised leper patient?

Their jaw drops.

What did the cannibal say after eating a leper?

That just fell apart in my mouth!

What happened when the lepers played poker?

One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off.



This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently.

What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi?

Stew.

Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry.

Never make plans with a leper...

They always flake.

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A leper goes down town and tried to get lucky

He meets a prostitute and asked her how much for two hours, she replies saying

"Oh honey it's usually 30 bucks but looking at how you are that'll be around 55 dollars no offense."

"Okay that's fine."

So after two hours when everything is all said and done. She asks for the cash ...

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