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Languages Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met my wife in an African Languages class.

We just clicked.

What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who speaks one language?

American

About Language...

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a nega...

Not to brag, but I’m fluent in 10 languages.

English and Binary.

Foreign Language

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.
The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?" No resp...

How to say surprise in different languages:

French: Surprise

Spanish: Sorpresa

Swedish: Överraskning

German: BLITZKRIEG

Languages, what are they called?

Sorry if you’ve seen this one before, but here it goes:
What do you call someone who speaks three languages-Trilingual
What do you call someone who speaks two languages-Bilingual
What do you call someone who speaks one language?

A proud citizen of the United States of America…

An elderly classical languages professor goes to Rome for a conference.

He hails a taxi as he leaves the airport, and the driver points to a sign saying "Tell driver your destination". The professor hesitates for a moment. He doesn't speak Italian, but doesn't want the driver to misunderstand his directions in English. Suddenly realizing that Italian is descended from L...

what do you call the situation when you speak two languages and start losing vocabulary in both of them?

Byelingual.

Why are Nordic languages so hard to understand?

English: A dog.

Swedish: What?

English: The dog.

English: Two dogs.

Swedish: Okay. We have: En hund, hunden, TvĂĽ hundar, hundarna.

German: Wait, I wan’t to try it too!

English: No, go away.

Swedish: No one invited you.

German: Der Hund.

...

The three most well known languages in India are English, Hindi, and...

JavaScript

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

6000 languages in the world

And you chose to talk shit

What joke is the same in all european languages?

USA

My Russian wife wouldn't even teach me how to say hello in her language

She says it's private.

A parrot that can speak in 5 languages.

A guy goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he needs a pet for his mother. The guy says that Mom lives alone and could really use some company. 

Pet shop guy says, "I have just what she needs. A parrot that can speak in 5 languages. She'll have a lot of fun with that bird." 

Th...

My friend who works as a beautician wants to learn Eastern European languages

It sounds challenging, but I know she's going to nail Polish.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a parrot at the Vatican who speaks dozens of languages.

This brilliant parrot had been with the Vatican for years. One day, he discovered an old rotary telephone that was still functioning tucked away in a forgotten room within the facility. Lonely as the parrot was, and able to speak so many languages, he began to place call after call to every corner o...

All languages travel at the speed of sound

Except Braille, which depends on how hard you throw the book.

A man is walking with his child on the street when a tourist approaches him asking

- "Parlez vous francais?"
Our man looks surprised and says nothing. The tourist changes the language:
- "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"
Again, no response. The tourist tries his luck once more:
- "Habla espaĂąol?"
Seeing that he receives no answer, the tourist moves on.

The child,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The same word describes my boobs in 2 languages,

Gross

What programming languages would we use if C didn't exist?

Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI

[On a date] Her: So, Do you know any other languages?

Him: I don’t speak French, but I know a little German.

Her: Really?

Him: Yes. He’s 3 feet 8, and he lives next door.

I speak two languages but am starting to lose vocabulary in one of them

You could say I’m byelingual.

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