A Spanish man goes into a department store looking for a specific item of clothing. But he can't find what he's looking for and he doesn't know the English word for it.
So he grabs a salesperson and says, "Tienes calcetines?"
"I'm sorry, I don't know what that is," the salesperson says...
hiw did the Irish potato become bilingual?
He became a French Fry
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was sur...
If someone that speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone that speaks three languages is trilingual. What is someone that speaks one language?
The troubles of foreigners in Canada
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
a bilingual joke (hope you like it)
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching an American street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices the four gentleman have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
What did the bilingual cow say?
I know a few bilingual pot heads
The Rosetta stoners
Bilingual dad joke
What do you call a pineapple with grandkids?
How does a bilingual hotel tell a tall, wooden, leafy plant to vamoose?
Tree, va, go!
A company had a vacancy for a job so they put a sign outside of their office saying ...
A company had a vacancy for a job so they put a sign outside of their office saying ‘
Job Vacancy- apply within. Applicants must:
1.) be able to type at least 80 words per minute.
2.)must be good at computers.
3.)must be bilingual
After weeks of having no applican...
I once took a Spanish class with someone who wanted to start a bilingual train company.
Talk about a real loco motive.
All gamers are bilingual...
They speak both English and Profanity.
A Bilingual mexican dad was getting ready for work...
...and saw his son eating some cereal, but instead of milk there was a strange milk-like substance that smelled funny.
Dad: "what've you got there, son?"
Son: "cereal with soy milk."
Dad: "Hola Milk, soy tu padre!"
My favourite joke: Now Hiring
A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:
"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."
The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and deci...
As an American who only speaks English I can make this joke (it works better irl but whatever):
A: What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages?
A: Yup! What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?
A: Yes! What do you call someone who speaks one language?
B: Umm, unilingual?
A: No! American!
There once was a job application form
There once was a job application form that said: “help wanted! Looking for people that are bilingual, able to make a computer program and able to make a robot!”, which a street dog was staring at, and it entered the building. The dog then enters the interviewing room and sits on the chair. The inter...
A dog is being interviewed to join MI6
The agent in charge of the process is irritated by this, but he is relieved that the agency provides a set of guidelines that dictates whether or not a candidate passes. So the agent takes the dog for the first test.
“Your first task is to type at 60 words a minute.”
To the age...
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.
An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town’s cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back t...
There were three cats swimming across a river
Their names were un cat, deux cat, and trois cat. Only un cat and deux cat made it across. Why? Because trois quatre cinq.
(You probably don't get it if you're not English-French bilingual)
A post in r/funny reminded me of one of my dad's favorite jokes...
Q: What do you call someone who speaks three languages? A: [Trilingual](/spoiler)
Q: What do you call someone who speaks two languages? A: [Bilingual](/spoiler)
Q: What do you call someone who speaks one language? A: [American](/spoiler)
Three mice are being chased by a cat. The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, "You see, it pays to be bilingual!"
If you overthrow the government in exactly seventeen syllables...
... is it a Hai-coup?
Technically a bilingual pun, hope that's not violating rule 8...
Why can't iron oxide get a date?
Porque es FeO
Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.
A dog applies for a job as an accountant...
So a dog goes in for an interview at an accountant's. Unfortunately the manager HATES dogs for some obscure reason from his youth.
Anyways, the manager tells the dog that it's got to pass three tests, else it can't be hired.
"First, you've got to be good with computers."