A Spanish man goes into a department store looking for a specific item of clothing. But he can't find what he's looking for and he doesn't know the English word for it.
So he grabs a salesperson and says, "Tienes calcetines?"
"I'm sorry, I don't know what that is," the salesperson says...
If you can't think of a word, say "I forgot the English word for it."
That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
hiw did the Irish potato become bilingual?
He became a French Fry
What did the bilingual cow say?
A person who speaks two languages is bilingual and one who speaks three, is trilingual. What do you call a person who speaks only one language?
The troubles of foreigners in Canada
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
I am a bilingual pulse
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I wish Frasier would have a show about a copy editor in 1942 Germany that's blind, bilingual, narcoleptic, and obsessed with weights and measures.
He'd be a Grammar Grammer gram-er Nazi not-see nod si.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Semi bilingual joke
Japanese animated pornography made in California is hot... Because it's Cali hentai (caliente)
The New Secretary
The CEO of a large company was in need of a secretary. He spread ads all over town. A few days later, there was a knock on his door. It was a dog. He had a newspaper in his mouth. He opened it to the classifieds page and pointed to the ad that the CEO had placed. The CEO was impressed. But he though...
I know a few bilingual pot heads
The Rosetta stoners
Bilingual dad joke
What do you call a pineapple with grandkids?
How does a bilingual hotel tell a tall, wooden, leafy plant to vamoose?
Tree, va, go!
A Bilingual mexican dad was getting ready for work...
...and saw his son eating some cereal, but instead of milk there was a strange milk-like substance that smelled funny.
Dad: "what've you got there, son?"
Son: "cereal with soy milk."
Dad: "Hola Milk, soy tu padre!"
a bilingual joke (hope you like it)
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching an American street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices the four gentleman have a very poor view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
A company had a vacancy for a job so they put a sign outside of their office saying ...
A company had a vacancy for a job so they put a sign outside of their office saying ‘
Job Vacancy- apply within. Applicants must:
1.) be able to type at least 80 words per minute.
2.)must be good at computers.
3.)must be bilingual
After weeks of having no applican...
Steve sees an ad for hiring a music producer.
The ad reads: "MUSIC PRODUCER WANTED! Must be able to play piano, type 40 words a minute, and be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer!" So he decides to go apply for the job.
The hiring manager is pleased with his resume but says, "Well your resume looks good, but I have to admit S...
All gamers are bilingual...
They speak both English and Profanity.
My favourite joke: Now Hiring
A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. The poster reads:
"Must be able to type. Must be able to program. And must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer."
The dog takes the poster in his mouth, and walks in. The manager spots the dog, and deci...
A local business owner was looking for office help.
The owner put a sign in the window that read: “Help wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer.”
A short time later, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign, and went inside. After going inside, the dog looke...
Languages, what are they called?
Sorry if you’ve seen this one before, but here it goes: What do you call someone who speaks three languages-Trilingual What do you call someone who speaks two languages-Bilingual What do you call someone who speaks one language?
A proud citizen of the United States of America…
There's a dog walking down the street and he sees a sign in a shop window that says:
"Must be able to type 60 words per minute."
"Must be computer literate."
"Must be bilingual."
"An equal opportunity employer."
So, the dog goes inside and asks...
A dog is being interviewed to join MI6
The agent in charge of the process is irritated by this, but he is relieved that the agency provides a set of guidelines that dictates whether or not a candidate passes. So the agent takes the dog for the first test.
“Your first task is to type at 60 words a minute.”
To the age...
There once was a job application form
There once was a job application form that said: “help wanted! Looking for people that are bilingual, able to make a computer program and able to make a robot!”, which a street dog was staring at, and it entered the building. The dog then enters the interviewing room and sits on the chair. The inter...
A post in r/funny reminded me of one of my dad's favorite jokes...
Q: What do you call someone who speaks three languages? A: [Trilingual](/spoiler)
Q: What do you call someone who speaks two languages? A: [Bilingual](/spoiler)
Q: What do you call someone who speaks one language? A: [American](/spoiler)
A business was looking for office help and puts a sign on the window
The sign reads: "HELP WANTED: We are an equal opportunity employer looking for someone good with computers, Word, Excel and is bilingual"
One day a dog walks up, sees the sign and goes inside. He looks at the receptionist, looks back at the sign and barks.
Figuring out what the dog ca...
There were three cats swimming across a river
Their names were un cat, deux cat, and trois cat. Only un cat and deux cat made it across. Why? Because trois quatre cinq.
(You probably don't get it if you're not English-French bilingual)
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.
An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town’s cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back t...
Three mice are being chased by a cat. The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" The surprised cat ran away scared. Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, "You see, it pays to be bilingual!"
If you overthrow the government in exactly seventeen syllables...
... is it a Hai-coup?
Technically a bilingual pun, hope that's not violating rule 8...
Why can't iron oxide get a date?
Porque es FeO
Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.
A dog applies for a job as an accountant...
So a dog goes in for an interview at an accountant's. Unfortunately the manager HATES dogs for some obscure reason from his youth.
Anyways, the manager tells the dog that it's got to pass three tests, else it can't be hired.
"First, you've got to be good with computers."