An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day...

"In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, rig...

A linguistic philosopher made the claim that there is no language in which a double positive implies a negative during a lecture.

To which someone responded, "Yeah, yeah."

Do you know the difference between "complete" and "finished"

No dictionary has ever been able to satisfactorily define the difference between "complete" and "finished."

However, during a recent linguistic conference attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was the presenter when he was asked to make...

An enormously popular and beloved Pope, after a long reign, dies and, naturally, goes to heaven.

He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad of recreations available.

The pope, having always loved the bible, decides that he wants to read all of the original records of God's communications with humanity before they were re...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Several researchers began a study on linguistics,

Relating to common speech patterns.

The scientists running the study gathered up 10 average people, to take notes and research how the spoke in every day Life.

All the participants we're fitted with microphones that they were to wear around, so their vernacular could be recorded and ...

How did the linguistics professor punish the late student?

He gave him a harsh sentence.

NSFW During a Linguistics lecture today, the teacher demonstrated how nouns can be turned into verbs;

for example "a brush is used to brush some one". My teacher gazed around the class, asking us for another example.

In retrospect, I don't think she liked the word "fist".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A American businessman takes a trip to Japan

An American businessman travels to Japan for a very important business meeting that will make or break his career. He realizes that sealing the deal for their business will not happen in the board room and so he agrees to join them afterwards for a night out on the town.

After a night of dri...

I asked my friend if he preferred prescriptive or descriptive linguistics....

...he said, "It's **pro**scriptive".

It's Time for a clear, serious grammar lesson...

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5...

Rod and Keith, two linguists, are chatting about life...

Rod and Keith, two linguists, are chatting about life when Rod slips in a linguistic pun. Keith is not impressed and points out why the pun was so bad. The conversation continues and Rod tries to deftly insert another pun. Again, without even cracking a smile, Keith starts pointing out all the flaws...

Linguistics Student: "What's a glottal fricative?"

"*Heavy sigh*"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Holesome tale between 4 friends

4 men are playing golf together on a Sunday afternoon. One American, one French, one Spanish and one Japanese.

The French man goes first. He misses his first shot, but puts it in the second.

"Bon tir!" shouts the American.
"Merci!" comes the reply.

Next is the Spanish man. He...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dea-th or Ka-bo-chi?

Three archaeologists are investigating a site deep in the jungles of Africa when they get caught by the jungle's tribesmen.

They are brought to the village where the village elder asks the first one.
"Dea-th or Ka-bo-chi?"
Fearing the worst, the first archeologist chooses Ka-bo-chi.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the dinner table..

Dad: So how's college these days, kid? what classes are you taking?

Kid: Intro to linguistics. Ugh, it's a shitty course.

Dad: Language!

I went to a bookstore the other day ...

After wandering around for a while, an employee in a colored apron approached me.

"Can I help you find anything, sir?"

"Oh, yes. Sure. I'm looking for a book about turtles."

"Hardback?" she inquired.

"Yep, and little heads."

---

Retelling of a joke by Mark ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.