A North Korean go to Poland...

Kim Jong Un goes to Poland for a diplomatic visit but his car break in the Polish countryside.

He meet a farmer that ask him :

"Kim jesteś?" (Who are you?)

And Kim reply :

"No, Kim Jong Un."

I asked a north korean what he had to say about the country

he said he can’t complain

North Korean international press conference

The North Korean representative starts:

\- I will have you know that in North Korea no one has died of hunger

\- No one has died of thirst, of cold or homelessness

The Russian representative:

\- have you tried polonium ?

Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler

A South Korean asks a North Korean “How’s life?”

The North Korean responds “Well, I can’t complain.”

Say what you will about North Koreans

No seriously, they’re not allowed on this site.

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media.

When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

Why is the North Korean National library so big?

Because Kim Jong-Un is a supreme reader!

I asked my North Korean friend, “what’s it like to live in North Korea?”

He responded, “can’t complain.”

A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar

The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

A North Korean man was arrested and given 15 years for calling Kim Jong Un a fathead

1 year for insulting the Supreme Leader and 14 for revealing a state secret

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-un has unfortunately died and the North Korean subordinates gathered for a serious meeting.

After hours of discussion, they decided it'd be best to replace him with a look alike to fool the foreign leaders. A Kim Jong-un look alike contest was organised and the winner was to be selected to rule Korea.

Fliers and posters of the contest was all over North Korea and a majority of the...

Why aren't there many North Koreans in the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, swim, or jump is in South Korea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korean scientists report 50% success at turning shit into butter

Spreads fine, taste slightly off.

Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?

Because he has no Seoul.

There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.

But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well

A North Korean, a Uiyghur, and a covid-denier are driving through the desert...

A North Korean, a Uiyghur, and a covid-denier are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. Each of them agrees to take one item as they have to continue through the desert on foot.

The North Korean and the covid-denier ask the Uiyghur what he is going to take. He responds, "I wi...

A North Korean lady was in line in front of me at my bank in the U.S., trying to exchange some won. She was obviously irritated, arguing with the teller.

“Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla of won, today I get
only one hunat eighty. Why it change?”

Teller shrugs his shoulders, says, “Fluctuations.”

Korean lady says, “Fluc you white people too!”

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look...

I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.

He said he can't complain.



edit: my first award! thank you to jackdaman!

2nd edit: thanks to **TheGeorgiaGazette** for the 2nd award!

A North Korean general is to undergo surgery

"His heart again?", asks the doctor

"No, chest expansion surgery, to make room for one more Gold medal"

A North Korean Judge walks out of the courtroom, laughing his head off

His friend approaches him and asks “what’s so funny?”

“Oh, I just heard the funniest political joke.” replies the Judge.

“Tell Me!”

“I can’t - I just gave someone life in prison for it!”

Why are North Koreans always left handed?

Because they have no rights.

What does a North Korean ricochet sound like?

PYONG! YANG!

A North Korean man is walking home

A North Korean man is walking along the road when he spots a fish caught in the reeds. Excitedly, he scooped it up and ran home.

"Look what I found!" he says, revealing his treasure to his wife, "Quick heat the oil"

"But husband, the police confiscated the oil! They said subversives co...

Because of the Corona virus: North Korean citizens

aren't allowed to leave the country, for the time being.

Why are North Korean jokes so good?

They have great execution

Why did the north Korean flea to South Korea?

To find his Seoul mate

What do you call North Korean K-Pop?

Propaganda Style.

Why do North Korean navy boats have glass bottoms

So they can see their Air Force

Why do North Koreans only sell one size of drink?

Because they have a Supreme Liter.

You ever tried North Korean Food?

Neither have the North Koreans

What's the difference between North Koreans and Americans?

The Americans had a chance to vote.

How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?

B 52

North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine

Woops, wrong sub

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A North Korean, United States, and Irish Politician walk into a bar.

They all order a beer. Upon going to drink them they notice a fly is floating in each of their beers.

The North Korean politician, outraged, declares war and that he will destroy the bar for allowing this to happen.

The politician from the United States declares tighter sanctions and ...

What sound does the slingshot North Korean nuke make when it's launced?

Pyongyang

What's a North Korean's Favourite Card Game?

Kim Jong Uno

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.

He is the seoul breadwinner

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Kanye West and the North Korean people have in common?

Both are regularly fucked by Kim.

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.

A reporter comes up to them and says,
“Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”

The Saudi says, “excuse me , what is this word shortage?”

The Russian says, “excuse me, what’s me...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong Un asked a well known North Korean composer to create a piece for him

The composer had many months to find people to play, and to write a piece. Once it was performed on stage, it sounded terrible. The players werent synchronized, and they were all playing the wrong notes. That night the composer was set to be executed.

Before the composer was put in the electr...

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

Before candles, what did North Korean communists use to light their homes with?

Electricity.

A North Korean farmer is finally rewarded after fifty years of hard labour for the State

A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims

"Comrade, for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the Democratic People's Republic, we would like to reward you with a car"

The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciatio...

What is the North Korean equivalent of a Gallon?

One Supreme Litre.

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

A British, an American and a North Korean captain are bragging about their submarines...

A British, an American and a North Korean captain are bragging about their submarines and how long they can stay underwater.

The British captain starts off saying: "Our submarines can stay underwater for 6 months before having to resurface!".

The American replies: "Pff, that's nothing....

A North Korean Defector

A North Korean defector moves into an apartment in Chicago, and his new neighbor ask what was his apartment back home like.
"Oh it was perfect I couldn't complain " the defector replies.
"What about your job"
"Oh my old job was perfect,I couldn't complain".

"And the food?".
"Oh th...

What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was?

"can't complain"

Why can't North Koreans go to heaven?

Because they don't have a Seoul.

I really like ethnic foods, but the one type of asian cuisine I haven't had is North Korean food.

Then again, neither have citizens of North Korea.

2 north korean farmers were working in a field

When all of a sudden they spot 2 grenades in the rice paddy up ahead.
Farmer 1: let us take the grenades to the police in a car
Farmer 2: what if one of them explodes while we are on the way to the police station?
Farmer 1: we tell the police that we found only 1

How many North Koreans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A hundred thousand. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest for holding the parade.

North Korean launches keep getting better and better

Heck, they even made it to the front page today!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was talking to a North Korean about freedom

I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an asshole!'"

The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an asshole!'"

What’s the North Korean leader’s favorite periodic element?

Un un quadium. Then, uranium

Say what you will about George W Bush, but he wouldn't have stood for North Korean aggression...

He'd have invaded New Zealand by now...

What would you call a North Korean news channel?

The Medium.

North Korean missiles can now reach mainland U.S.A...

WE WILL BUILD A ROOF! AND N. KOREA'S GOING TO PAY FOR IT! SAD!

What did the South Korean flag holder say to the North Korean holder after the ceremony?

Hey, let's grab some lunch! I bet you're starving!

A North Korean defector arrives at a South Korean hospital in critical condition...

Doctor: "What's this man's name?"

Nurse: "Uh...Oh."

Doctor: "What's wrong?"

Nurse: "Nothing. You asked for his name. He is Oh."

Doctor: "I need his name, not his blood type."

Nurse: "His name is Oh."

Doctor: "Positive?"

Nurse: "Are you doing this on p...

Why can't North Koreans find true love ?

Because they just can't find a Seoul-mate !

North Koreans said the Kim Jong Un has read all the books in the world.

That's why they call him their supreme reader

Why don't north Koreans listen to funk?

Cos they've got no Seoul!

Thank you very much.

The US Navy is starting to worry about the North Korean military.

Since all the missles they launch at Washington end up hitting the ocean, the odds are they will eventually hit a ship.

Why is North Korean music so bad?

They've got no Seoul.

I offered a North Korean some freedom

He said "Im glad its free but what the hell is 'dom'"

What's the difference between Fox News and the North Korean government?

One is a racist prick of a system that is incredibly biased and is trying to force you to to follow its beliefs and the other is the North Korean government.

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