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North Korean Jokes

Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler

A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar

The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?

Because he has no Seoul.

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look...

I asked my North Korean friend, “what’s it like to live in North Korea?”

He responded, “can’t complain.”

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine

Woops, wrong sub

A South Korean asks a North Korean “How’s life?”

The North Korean responds “Well, I can’t complain.”

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there

He said he couldnt complain

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by their government and the media.

But I know that can't possibly be true. Because every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

What do you call North Korean K-Pop?

Propaganda Style.

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.

He is the seoul breadwinner

Cybersecurity experts have found an easy way to spot North Korean hackers. They never use the shift key.

They hate capitalism.

Did you hear about this North Korean guy who compared Kim Jong Un to an elephant?

It was a bad joke, but I liked the execution

A North Korean go to Poland...

Kim Jong Un goes to Poland for a diplomatic visit but his car break in the Polish countryside.

He meet a farmer that ask him :

"Kim jesteś?" (Who are you?)

And Kim reply :

"No, Kim Jong Un."

North Korean international press conference

The North Korean representative starts:

\- I will have you know that in North Korea no one has died of hunger

\- No one has died of thirst, of cold or homelessness

The Russian representative:

\- have you tried polonium ?

Why is the North Korean National library so big?

Because Kim Jong-Un is a supreme reader!

Say what you will about North Koreans

No seriously, they’re not allowed on this site.

What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?

North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.

Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good?

It's all about the Execution

I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.

He said he can't complain.



edit: my first award! thank you to jackdaman!

2nd edit: thanks to **TheGeorgiaGazette** for the 2nd award!

A North Korean Judge walks out of the courtroom, laughing his head off

His friend approaches him and asks “what’s so funny?”

“Oh, I just heard the funniest political joke.” replies the Judge.

“Tell Me!”

“I can’t - I just gave someone life in prison for it!”

How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?

B 52

Why aren't there many North Koreans in the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, swim, or jump is in South Korea

A North Korean general is to undergo surgery

"His heart again?", asks the doctor

"No, chest expansion surgery, to make room for one more Gold medal"

Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats?

So they can see their air Force.

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.

A reporter comes up to them and says,
“Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”

The Saudi says, “excuse me , what is this word shortage?”

The Russian says, “excuse me, what’s me...

A North Korean man was arrested and given 15 years for calling Kim Jong Un a fathead

1 year for insulting the Supreme Leader and 14 for revealing a state secret

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

Why are North Koreans always sad?

Because they are Seoulless

There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.

But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well

What does a North Korean ricochet sound like?

PYONG! YANG!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korean scientists report 50% success at turning shit into butter

Spreads fine, taste slightly off.

What's a North Korean's Favourite Card Game?

Kim Jong Uno

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A North Korean, United States, and Irish Politician walk into a bar.

They all order a beer. Upon going to drink them they notice a fly is floating in each of their beers.

The North Korean politician, outraged, declares war and that he will destroy the bar for allowing this to happen.

The politician from the United States declares tighter sanctions and ...

I was cleaning one of my finger guns.

I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

Why don't North Koreans go to heaven?

because they have no Seoul

Have you tried North Korean food?

Neither have they

A North Korean Defector

A North Korean defector moves into an apartment in Chicago, and his new neighbor ask what was his apartment back home like.
"Oh it was perfect I couldn't complain " the defector replies.
"What about your job"
"Oh my old job was perfect,I couldn't complain".

"And the food?".
"Oh th...

What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was?

"can't complain"

Why do North Koreans only sell one size of drink?

Because they have a Supreme Liter.

A North Korean, a Uiyghur, and a covid-denier are driving through the desert...

A North Korean, a Uiyghur, and a covid-denier are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. Each of them agrees to take one item as they have to continue through the desert on foot.

The North Korean and the covid-denier ask the Uiyghur what he is going to take. He responds, "I wi...

Before candles, what did North Korean communists use to light their homes with?

Electricity.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was talking to a North Korean about freedom

I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an asshole!'"

The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an asshole!'"

A North Korean defector arrives at a South Korean hospital in critical condition...

Doctor: "What's this man's name?"

Nurse: "Uh...Oh."

Doctor: "What's wrong?"

Nurse: "Nothing. You asked for his name. He is Oh."

Doctor: "I need his name, not his blood type."

Nurse: "His name is Oh."

Doctor: "Positive?"

Nurse: "Are you doing this on p...

A North Korean farmer is finally rewarded after fifty years of hard labour for the State

A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims

"Comrade, for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the Democratic People's Republic, we would like to reward you with a car"

The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciatio...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Kanye West and the North Korean people have in common?

Both are regularly fucked by Kim.

What would you call a North Korean news channel?

The Medium.

What is the North Korean equivalent of a Gallon?

One Supreme Litre.

North Korean launches keep getting better and better

Heck, they even made it to the front page today!

2 north korean farmers were working in a field

When all of a sudden they spot 2 grenades in the rice paddy up ahead.
Farmer 1: let us take the grenades to the police in a car
Farmer 2: what if one of them explodes while we are on the way to the police station?
Farmer 1: we tell the police that we found only 1

What sound does the slingshot North Korean nuke make when it's launced?

Pyongyang

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A North Korean Joke

*Son to Mom: I don't want to go to school today and I'll give you two good reasons. The students hate me and the teachers hate me.*

*Mom to Son: Son, you have to go to school today and I'll give you two good reasons. You are the principal and you're thirty five years old.*

As told to ...

Why is North Korean music so bad?

They've got no Seoul.

North Korean joke

A: There is a new power plant in Hamheung-si.

B: No, I'm just coming back from there, but I didn't see a power plant.

A: And there is a new chemical factory in Kimjeongsuk-gun.

B: I was there a week ago but I didn't see any factory...

A: Comrade! Stop running ar...

A British, an American and a North Korean captain are bragging about their submarines...

A British, an American and a North Korean captain are bragging about their submarines and how long they can stay underwater.

The British captain starts off saying: "Our submarines can stay underwater for 6 months before having to resurface!".

The American replies: "Pff, that's nothing....

Why don't north Koreans listen to funk?

Cos they've got no Seoul!

Thank you very much.

What’s the North Korean leader’s favorite periodic element?

Un un quadium. Then, uranium

I wonder what North Korean food tastes like...

Oh wait, there is no food.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korean Joke

Poop is like a North Korean rocket: it's produced by an ass and splashes into the water.

What did the South Korean flag holder say to the North Korean holder after the ceremony?

Hey, let's grab some lunch! I bet you're starving!

North Korean missiles can now reach mainland U.S.A...

WE WILL BUILD A ROOF! AND N. KOREA'S GOING TO PAY FOR IT! SAD!

I offered a North Korean some freedom

He said "Im glad its free but what the hell is 'dom'"

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