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Knits Jokes

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a porcupine?

An animal that knits its own sweaters.

The cow

A cow sits on a roof and knits spinach. A toast flies past and says: Fishing is prohibited here.
The cow: I do not care how much the strawberries cost, I'm here by bike anyway.

A goddess appears out of nowhere during an academic meeting.

The assembled faculty are dumbstruck as she hovers over the conference table. The goddess floats to a place directly in front of the school's philosophy professor. She speaks to him.

"You are a virtuous mortal. I have decided to grant you a wish. I will give you unfathomable wealth or ultimat...

A woman and her husband are eating at a Chinese restaurant.

The woman loves how artistic the Chinese language looks written, so she takes home a menu and chooses her favorite symbols and knits a sweater with said symbols on the front.

A few months later her and her husband are invited to his company's party. She decides this is the perfect time to wea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fart Football

One night, an elderly couple is sitting in bed. The husband reading while the wife quietly knits. Breaking the silence, the husband leans gently to one side, and unleashes an egregious fart. His wife crumples her face and writhes in near agony next to him, bemoaning the ubiquitous ass mist that was ...

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