If anyone's interested, my buddy has tickets for Champions League Final match (26th of May) in Kiev, Ukraine

He bought the tickets, but the damned fool forgot he was getting married that weekend. Anyone up for taking this off his hands?


The girl's name is Catherine and she's really lovely.

I rented some heavy lifting equipment in Kiev

from a company called You Crane.

~Enter new password.

- chicken.

~Password must contain at least one capital.

- chicken kiev

Ok, here's a really bad one

This one I've herd visiting Kiev before the shutdown:

The guy walks in a brothel and asks a hostess:
- Hi, I need a girl
- Ok, it's 50$ for 1 hour
- I don't have that much, do you have anything for 10$?
- Yes, let's go outside

They go around the brothel, a hostess places a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish rope merchant from New York was trying desperately to sell some of his goods in Louisiana. But wherever he went, he kept encountering Anti-Semitism.

In one particular department store, the buyer taunted him:

“All right, Jew. I’ll buy some of your rope. As much as reaches from the top of your big Jewish nose to the tip of your little Jewish penis.”

Two weeks later, the buyer was startled to receive a shipment containing ten thousand...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Czech joke for you. (I think it is at least, it was written on page categorised as that)

A Russian soldier unit is flying to Chechnya and the Captain motivates soldiers: "Men, for every Chechen head you will get a bottle of vodka." The plane lands, the door breaks down, the soldiers scatter. In a few minutes they return and everyone has brought a couple of heads. The captain is all pale...

Russian foodie joke

A guy sitting in a restaurant in Moscow orders quail. When it arrives, using two spoons he carefully opens and peers into the rear of bird and announces, "This is not a quail. It is a simple chicken: born in Saint Petersburg, age: 3 years. Please, waiter, bring me a quail!"

Each subsequent d...

Old Jewish joke.

A group of Ukrainian villagers are trying to get a cow to mate with a bull.

Try as they might, the cow refused to mate with any bull at all.

The villagers take the cow to the rabbi to ask for help.

The Rabbi inspects the cow then asks the villagers, "is the cow from Kiev?"
...

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