My friend is the most average person on the planet yet he loves to go around judging and criticising other people
He's really mean
A father tells his son to always a mile in someone's shoes before judging them
"Why" the son asked "So you will be a mile away from them with their shoes"
Santa’s Reindeer’s competition
In the days leading up until Christmas, all of Santa’s reindeer throw a party, with each reindeer throwing their own party on a different day. During the day before Christmas Eve, the elves, reindeer, and Claus’ would decide who threw the best party that year and there would be a prize.
Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging
The word was Dictate.
[Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
[Mike Tyson] The woman said my dictate good.
Me: Being a great artist is all about finding the right medium.
The 5th psychic I’ve been to today: judging by your work here, I see disappointment in your future.
My bank called today to notify that my account has been reclassified
Judging by the balance they had to classify it as Satire Account
Judging by how expensive this year's iPhones are...
It's no wonder why they're called the iPhone Excess and iPhone Excess Max