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Antsy Jokes

My sister graduated med school and is growing antsy at her minimal workload

She just needs to have patients.

A new hospital opens for the first time, and the doctor is getting antsy...

"What are we waiting for?" the doctor asks.

"Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."

A Blonde and a Brunette are sitting next to each other on a plane. The Brunette, a lawyer is getting antsy on the flight and asks the blonde

“ do you wanna play a game? I’ll ask you a question and if you don’t know the answer you’ll give me five dollars, and then you ask me a question and if I don’t know the answer I’ll give you five dollars.”

The blonde says no, and goes to sleep. A half hour goes by and the brunette wakes up th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of friends was walking around the red light district and came across a sign that said “donuts.”

Hank turned to the other two, Joey and Carl, and said, “Guys, I heard about this! The girl puts a donut on your junk and then goes to town. It’s supposed to be the best thing you can do here. We should do it. It’s not like we’re going to get this chance again!”

Reluctantly, the other two agr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Steve and Natalia

Steve and world famous super model Natalia are stranded on an uninhabited island after the sinking of their cruise ship. After securing their survival they eventually start having sex and Steve is ecstatic. After about three weeks he gets antsy and asks Natalia, if she could put on one of his shirts...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One guy wanted to go golfing..

But his partner didn't show up. So he asks a perfect stranger, who was also alone, to golf with him. The man having nothing else to do says sure why not. So while on the course the first guy asks the second guy

First Guy(guy with no partner): So what do you do?

Second Guy(Perfect Stran...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy gets a job as a lumberjack

He's in a logging camp in the middle of nowhere and everything is going great. After a couple of weeks he's talking to his foreman when he says, "I notice there's no women around for miles, what do you guys do to satisfy your needs?" The foreman hands him a map and tells him to follow this to the bi...

A soldier is stationed in the middle east...

A young, American soldier arrives to his first tour of duty in an undeveloped area of Kuwait, and quickly discovers that things are rather strict. While he's able to distract himself for the first few days, he soon starts to get a little bit "antsy," and wonders how, exactly, he's meant to contend w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

4 men walk into a pub

They all sit down at the bar and get settled. The first guy to the left leans over to the bartender and asks, “Excuse me, ma’am, can I get a can of olives?”

The bartender hesitates with a confused look, and responds, “I’m sorry, but we actually don't have any olives, or any food items, on the...

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