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Isolating Jokes

A couple are isolating during covid

The man says "Now is the perfect time for me to go down on you."

The woman excitedly asks "Why is that?"

The man responds "I just lost my senses of taste and smell."

Prince Charles is Isolating at Balmoral

Prince's Charles is Isolating at Balmoral Castle with Covid-19

Prince Andrew is Isolating at Windsor with Jenny - 14

What would you call a Hollywood film director who is isolating from Covid

Quentin Quarantino.

King Felipe VI is self isolating in his jet

The reign in Spain stays mainly in the plane.

I asked my locksmith why he wasn't at home self isolating.

He told me he was a key worker.

They know we're isolating, but my mates keep yelling at me to leave the house.

They think they're so special just because they're firemen.

Now that we're all self-isolating, the children just stand there looking miserably through the window.

But I think they should be grateful that I'm passing food out through the letterbox to them three times a day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scientists are predicting that an aurora will be created from all the self-isolating people stuck at home watching porn...

Due to the resulting coronal mass erection.

Why haven't Santa's helpers caught coronavirus?

Because they've been elf-isolating!

Don't forget to keep everything in your dairy/pantry a few inches apart...

... We are supposed to be shelf isolating!

Sean Connery is doing his part for COVID, he reorganized his fridge

He’s shelf isolating.

I hate when people say Trump isn't taking the threat of coronavirus seriously

His brain cells have been self isolating for years

I guess I’m a hipster.

I’ve been self-isolating for years already!

For the last two weeks I've been walking around dressed in cladding and rubber pipe covering.

Turns out I should have been self-isolating.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just can't look

A zookeeper notices that all of his female monkeys keep getting pregnant.

After isolating the only male monkey, Bobo, into his own cage, the zookeeper believes the matter to be settled. A few weeks later he sees a few more female monkeys getting pregnant. Perplexed, the zookeeper waits outsi...

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