How does the alchemist keep his lady satisfied?

Elixir.

How does an alchemist please his wife?

Elixer

What’s the difference between a chemist and an alchemist?

Aluminum

A fullmetal alchemist joke

Do you know how much a human cost's to make?

It cost me an arm and a leg

My girlfriend is an alchemist. Last night she drank 8 rum & cokes.

Then she vomited 7-up.

Fullmetal Alchemist is so unrealistic

I mean how can they draw such perfect circles?

How does an Alchemist get his woman in the mood?

Elixir neck.

What do you call a Jewish alchemist?

A Hebrew.

Redditors are like alchemists.

They try to turn their nonsense into gold.

A medieval werewolf becomes an alchemist

Others say, “What use do werewolves have of gold?”

Undeterred, he successfully makes gold and shows it to them.

“What do we do with it?”

Another werewolf looks at it. “Dunno. Eat it?”

Thus, the golden retriever was born.

Have you seen FullMetal Alchemist?

The cow says "moo".

The cat says "meow".

The dog says "ed...ward...ed...ward".

Explanation : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbRtoFNqn84

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his penis.

A man had a problem with his penis since birth. It was related to the size, but unlike many humans who feel they are too small, his was far too large! 25 inches to be precise. Constantly he would have women run screaming from his bedchamber. So one day he decided he'd had enough of this, and went on...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hideous little orc is in the kingdom's capital, looking to acquire medicine for his sick mom.

Nobody can stand the sight of him, with some even threatening violence of he doesn't leave.
He finds and alchemist's medicine shop at the market and tells him about his mother's illness.

"Ah, but of course!" says the alchemist, "It's clearly a case of Sakiara Fever. It's not very common at...

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