UPJOKE
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Icecream Jokes

My 7 year old son came up with this please be kind.

Why did the icecream have an umbrella?... because there were to many sprinkles!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman walks into an icecream shop

W: Hi! May I get two scoops of chocolate please?

M: I'm sorry, ma'am. We are currently out of chocolate.

W: What a shame. Well, then could I have a scoop of strawberry, a scoop of vanilla annnnd... A scoop of chocolate please?

M: Ma'am, I will be happy to get you strawberry and ...

Whats a football fans favorite flavour of icecream?

Aston vanilla

What do you call a dog who serves icecream?

Scoopy-Doo

Why did the kid drop his Icecream?

Because he got hit by a train while crossing the rails.
#staybehindtheyellowline

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chocolate icecream

A woman walks into a 31 flavors and asks the guy behind the counter for a gallon of chocolate icecream. "I'm sorry ma'am, we are all out of chocolate icecream but there are 30 other flavors to choose from." she continues to look around and goes back to the counter and asks for a pint of chocolate i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Onion Icecream

One day, a boy visits an ice cream shop. The shopkeeper welcomes him, and the boy says: "Do you guys have onion flavoured ice cream?"

The shop keeper replies: "No, sorry, we do not"

This goes on for a month or so, until the shop keeper decides to make some onion icecream for the kid. I...

My favourite icecream place can't afford the electricity bill.

I hear they're having a liquidation sale.

What's a banker's favourite flavor of icecream?

Mint

Bert : 'Ernie, do you want to get some icecream?'

Ernie : 'Sherbert'

Man: Hey man, do you have icecream in the freezer?

Jeffrey Dahmer: Nah dude, only Ben and Jerry.

Man runs frantically towards the moving icecream truck..

"Wait!" He exclaimed.

The truck stops and the driver asks, "What can I get you today?". "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to let you know I'm a vegan."

Chocolate, icecream, cookies, mars bars, doritos, popcorn, milky ways, kit kats and lays!

i wrote this joke to reach a wider audience.

So a father and son are sitting outside an icecream shop.

And three women walk out, one licking, one sucking and one biting the icecream cone. The father asks the son, "which one of those girls is married?" The son replies "obviously the one sucking the cone"
"No son, the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."

Sorry for grammar...

My autistic cousin came to visit

When I was young, my autistic 10 year old cousin would constatly visit us, and I hated him because he was a brat. However, since his parents were extremely protective and thought of him as a little prince, they wanted to make me give him my "Up" DVD, because he really likes it.

When they left...

Bob and Rose are getting on in years, and their memories aren't what they used to be.

They make a visit to the doctor, who does a thorough check-up, before telling them that there's nothing to worry about, and that this is just a symptom of getting older.

"One thing you could try", the doc says, "is to write down the things you need to remember. Many of my patients say that he...

Grandpa and Grandma are sitting on a bench in the park

they hear the jingle of the icecream salesman.

Grandma says : "I'd like some vanilla icecream."

Grandpa says: "Good idea, I'd also like some chocolate icecream".

Grandma stands up and says: "I'll go get some."

"You should write it, Grandma, you know your memory is not wha...

What cake do you bring for your Mexican friends going away party?

An ICEcream cake

A penguin pulls up to a dealership

He barely made it there before his car gave out. The technician tells him that it's going to be a few hours before the repairs are finished.
The penguin sees an icecream shop across the street and goes inside. He asks the manager if it would be okay to hang out in the freezer because it's just t...

A penguin goes on vacation.

A penguin has decided that he has had enough of the cold and wants to go on vacation.

He books his flight to a big city and rents out a car to go sight seeing.

After a while of him driving around his car starts making a weird noise.

He grows a bit concerned and takes it into the...

Minding my own business

Sitting in recliner naked, watching a movie, eating icecream & doritos, minding my own business & f*ckin Walmart calls the cops, smh

How do you make a dead baby float?

-2 scoops vanilla icecream

-2 scoops baby

-Add rootbeer and serve

A man is staring into his whiskey

The barkeep asks if something's the matter.

"3 of my servers have the same virus, there are reports of bugs and extensions cropping up in our clientelle's cookies, and today icecream sandwich ruined my phone."

"IT sounds rough" he adds sympathetically.

"IT?" the customer says,...

An older couple were having a hard time remembering things..

They arrived home from a walk and after a few minutes watching Television, the wife suddenly looks at her husband and says to him:

"You know, I could really go for some icecream! Would you mind going to the kitchen and getting me some?"

Her husband, always happy to be kind, walks to th...

Sardarjee finds a monkey on the street

and being a good citizen, promptly takes it to the police station to report it. The officer on Duty tells Sardarjee to take the monkey to the zoo...

The next day, officer spots Sardarjee with the same monkey on a bus stop.

Officer: Didn't you take the monkey to the zoo?

Sardar: ...

A Penguin is driving across the desert when his car starts having trouble.

He pulls into the next gas station and by now black smoke is pouring out of the engine. While the local mechanic is checking his car for the problem, the penguin waits in the air-conditioned gas station and buys an ice-cream to cool down. He uses both wings to hold the ice-cream cone and after some ...

A penguin is driving down the road...

And his car engine starts to smoke. He pulls over to an autoshop in a small town, and the mechanic says it will be an hour. The penguin walks around and settles at an icecream shop. After an hour the penguin goes back and finds the mechanic under his car. "Find anything wrong?" asks the penguin? The...

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