UPJOKE
douglasslewistaney1780s1770s1830s1840s1850s1860s1870s1890s1920s1930s1940s1950s

1800s Jokes

In the early 1800s three explorers are captured by a Native American tribe

In the early 1800s three explorers are captured by a Native American tribe...A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Russian. They are all taken in front of the chief. The chief is furious that they trespassed on the scared ancestral burial land but says they would have one chance to redeem themselves. Nex...

Hey girl, are you a Chinese immigrant from the 1800s?

Because I want to make you mine.

I once saw a drama about menstruation in the early 1800s

It was a period piece

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke from the 1800s

" While passing a house on the road, two Virginia salesmen spotted a "very peculiar chimney, unfinished, and it attracting their attention, they asked a flaxen-haired urchin standing near the house if it 'drawed well' whereupon the aforementioned urchin gave them the stinging retort: 'Yes, it draws ...

I just found out my favorite arcade game used Christian music from the 1800s Finland in the background.

Yeah. Mortal Kombat used Finnish Hymns

What would the Jackson 5 be called in the 1800s?

The Jackson 3.

It was significantly more dangerous to go through child birth than to be in a car crash in the 1800s.

Mainly because they didn't have cars back then.

A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...

The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."

The entire crew of the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woman in the 1800s becomes very upset after seeing the painting an artist had done for her. She says to him, "I tell you I want a painting commemorating my husband's last thoughts, and you give me cows with halos and Indians making love?”

"Miss," he says. "Those are your husband's last thoughts." "Holy cow, look at all those fucking Indians."

I just learned this morning of the whale oil harvesting process…

In the 1800s when sailors were hunting whales for oils, it would take days while one is harpooned to get it into the boat while it passes and fights and the oils would even seep out making it very slippery and challenging to get into the boat so they had to use these beef hooks like butcher beef hoo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Isn't it amazing that the French had the Flying Buttress in the 1400s

but could not produce a flying aeroplane till the late 1800s.

I saw a guy wearing a stovepipe hat the other day...

...so I said, "Hey! Abraham Lincoln called and he wants..." Then I realized, they didn't have phones in the mid 1800s.

Donner Party.

Here's a rare treat....an original joke

At work I was talking with a client who brought up the Donner Party and asked if i knew who the were. I replied that yes, I did. They were the group snowbound in the mountains in the 1800s and turned to cannabalism.
I added that they were supposedly...

The madam opened the brothel door in Elko County, Nevada, and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

“May I help you, sir?" she asked.

"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.

"No, I must see Valerie," he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the ma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man strikes a good conversation in a bar with a stranger.

After a few hours of chatting about good quality whiskey, the stranger says:



“Hold up, i have a bottle from the 1800s and i never got to open it. Tonight seems like a good occasion, lets go have a swig of it.”



The young man, already quite drunk, agrees to the stranger...

The Tates Watch Company

Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses.



The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. ...

A Candid Evaluation of the British Navy

Once upon a time, in the 1800s, a bureaucrat of the British Empire was assigned the task of interviewing sailors to get a candid evaluation of the level of contentedness of sailors with their captain. As he was opening his folder, he asked the first sailor that he was interviewing, "Where are you fr...

Last summer I met with a botanist friend of mine...

Last summer I met with a botanist friend of mine who was keen to show me his private collection of rare tree and plant species. I wasn’t particularly interested but I went along anyway because he was really excited to show me the newest addition to his collection.
“It’s a unique species of oak...

Carlos was the proud owner of a Mexican Bed & Breakfast in Cancun...

It was founded by his Great-grandfather in the 1800s. He had come to Mexico from Spain and bought the run-down place with a loan from from a businessman back home. Through hard work and sheer determination, he had built the place up to a relatively successful B&B.

After his death, he lef...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A legend of the Native Americans

While many people know of Sequoya, the Native American genius who developed the Cherokee alphabet, fewer have heard of another visionary – yet he made a discovery no less groundbreaking, owing nothing to the white man’s knowledge.

It fell out like this: In the early 1800s, a certain chief, ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.