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Karma Jokes

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'.

Yet they haven't. I don't geddit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karma is a weird name...

They should rename "karma" to "creddit"

They should also rename the "share" button to "spreaddit"

They should then also rename the "delete" button to "shreddit"

But they don't, and I don't geddit



* Eddit: Wow, I did not expect to get gold for that one...

A teacher goes for a long walk on the beach. She finds a shiny magic lamb, picks it up, and rubs it.

There is a puff of blue smoke and a genie pops out. “You have three wishes. I can give you anything in the world. If I fail, I must become your personal genie for eternity.”

The teacher thinks for a moment and says, “For my first wish, I want jewels. Silver, gold, platinum, whatever you have....

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

How easy is it to get reddit karma?

It's a piece of cake.

What has two thumbs and 100k karma on their cake day?

Not me.

What's the difference between Bad Karma and Reddit Karma?

You get Bad Karma by stealing other people's belongings. You get Reddit Karma by stealing other people's jokes.

Someone told be that on your Cake Day, you get free Karma!

My Ma: I'm not buying you a car.

I used to rip off famous comedians' jokes to post on Reddit for easy karma.

I still do, but I used to, too.

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld



Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karma

Back in the mid-1960s, in an English country pub, a man is sat quietly enjoying a pint of Timothy Taylor Landlord (an excellent English ale). All of a sudden, a bunch of noisy yobs come into the pub and order lager. The mouthiest of the bunch walks across to the man and says, "Oi! You're sitting in ...

I'm a firm believer in karma...

All of the people I treated badly had it coming to them.

Top Reddit posters should use their karma to help the environment.

They are already experts at recycling.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit Karma is a lot like sex

It's easier to get if you lie about having cancer

Have you heard of this new pop-up restaurant called the Karma Chameleon?

It comes and goes.

There’s a new conspiracy theory out there called Big Karma.

They don’t know what the government is trying to do to us, but are convinced we must have it coming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person that constantly hunts for karma?

A predditor.

getting karma on Christmas Eve is easy

You could say it's a piece of cake...

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'. Yet they haven't.

I don’t geddit.

Eddits:

Courtesy to The_maxi : I propose to add a function to remove awards and name it “regreddit“

Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted.



Happy cake day to me :)

My friend wanted t know how I got all my karma

I replied "piece of cake"

What’s the difference between korma and karma?

One’s your dinner, the other is your just deserts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tell my wife I'm close to 60,000 Karma on my Reddit, and she says the only Karma I need in my life is her..

I reminded her Karma's a Bitch..

I would post a joke about Buddhism

But I don’t have enough karma

What’s the most terrifying word in experimental nuclear physics?

Oops!

(Shameless karma farming on cake day)

I need karma but here's a joke

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank

Cause they wash up on shore

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants.

But he's not buying it, in fact he's still making fun of me.
Edit: Thanks for the karma, and damn Reddit is not shy about telling internet strangers they pooped in their pants.
Edit 2: Thank you kind stranger for giving me my first gold on a poop joke, I wouldn't have expected it any other...

I heard the easiest method for free karma today!

It’s actually really a piece of cake

A woman giving birth went into a coma for a few days

When she woke up, the doctor told her, “congratulations, you gave birth to healthy twins: a girl and a boy. Your ex-boyfriend visited and named them for you”

The woman replies, “no not him! What did he name the boy?”

Doctor: Mason

Woman: Oh that’s actually not a bad name. How ab...

Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted

Edit: oh wow, this was my first time karma whoring on my cake day and I honestly wasn’t expecting this much attention. Thank you for all the awards and sorry if I didn’t respond to all the messages.

Shoutout to u/sse2k for “letting” me repost his joke.

A mailman notices a mailbox with the flag up

So, he opens the box and picks up the letter. He glances at it briefly to make sure it is stamped, and then puts it in his bag with his other letters. He thinks nothing of it, and finishes his day.

A few days later, he delivers the exact same letter to the same house that he picked it up fro...

What's the best way to get karma on reddit

Idk but it's my cake day

A woman dies and goes to the gates of heaven.

When she gets there, she is perplexed and confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter.

She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of strawberries, frosting, and tiering at every station.

Fina...

How does a redditor get karma on their cakeday?

They flag their post as nsfw.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karma

A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.

"What was that for?" the Chinese man asked.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" the Jewish man said.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I'm Ch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

1 dollar for dirty joke

I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.” Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Alright sir whats your name?

Me: “asstasticbum”

Homeless man: “So asstasticbum, the...

My life ambition is to have a lot of karma on Reddit.

Unfortunately, it is a hard job. I tried doing it alone first, leaving insightful comments and making quirky posts - but I had no luck. So I decided to ask for advice.

First, I went to a wise guru who had a thousand karma. And I asked him, "Oh wise guru, how do you have so much karma?"
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit Karma is like women

At first, everyone seems to have it except you.

No one knows how they work but everyone want them.

It would look really hard to get it untill you finally get it unexpectedly, somehow.

A difference of opinion and you lose them.

But they give you a sense of value even after...

A fellow redditor asked where all my karma came frome

If you're good enough, it's honestly a piece of cake.

karma is like beautiful wife.

Both make you happy but all that you can do is stare at them.

Why is it so hard for me to get karma?

Apparently for everyone else, it's a piece of cake.

(It is my understanding that you must post something on your cake day).

What do you call a wolf that is woke?

Awarewolf



(credit goes to my GF, who's apparently practicing her dad humor. *sigh* please, don't wreck my karma)

How do you make karma on Reddit?

It's a piece of cake.





I know this is an old joke but this only happens once per year, I had to.

R.I.P. dad

My dad passed away yesterday (this is true). He was 87 and had a good innings. We've done the bulk of our grieving and all is good. My brother sent me this message this morning:

"I reckon dad has already told Eddie Van Halen to turn the volume down."

___________________

Today is NOT my cake day

But when it comes I will NOT attempt to farm karma with it.


April fools.

A man goes into his garden and notes a broken fence.

He thus searches online for someone to fix his fence for him, but he is not satisfied with their prices – that is, until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.

He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing; but since it’s free, he feels like he has nothin...

Karma and Irony are best friends

They go roaming the city one night looking for a place to eat.
They spot a homeless man warming his hands by a fire, and karma steals a belt lying next to him, laughing.
Irony stays behind and hands the belt back before catching up with Karma.
They then walk into a bar, and Karma says “ou...

Reddit should rename "share" to "spreddit", "delete" to "shreddit" and "karma" to "creddit".

Yet they haven't. I really don't geddit.

Edit: it's currently December 22nd of 2021 and I confess: this joke is a repost

... just like the hundreds of other copies of this

A son went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, what's an alcoholic?"

So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."

The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two."



EDIT: Wow, first time front page for me! Thank you all for the karma!

My girlfriend bought me the karma sutra

Which put me in a very awkward position

Marie-Antoinette heard of the starving karma farmers of reddit

“Let them have cake day”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny learns a lesson about karma...

Little Johnny finds out the neighbors dog had puppies so he goes over to play with them. Being a little boy he starts getting too rough.

The neighbor says, "be nice Johnny or karma will get you."

Johnny plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again.

The neighbor says, "be ...

A Redditor asks another Redditor what the best way to get karma is...

The experienced Redditor says: "It's a piece of cake."

My buddy asked me how my post got so much karma

“Simple, piece of cake”

How does a redditor get karma when they don't deserve it?

Piece of ca.....I'm just kidding they ask what's a flat earther's favorite Christmas decoration?

Their s'no globe.

It’s my cake day but I don’t Reddit for karma. I Reddit for love.

So somebody please love me so I can get off this awful site.

When do you start on red and stop on green?

When you're eating a watermelon!

A girl walks up to her mother and asks, "Mommy, why am I named Clover?"

"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."

Then, her other daughter walks up. "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?"

"Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."

Finally, her son walks up to her. "Those names make sense, but why am I...

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 18 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different bakeries a...

I strongly believe in karma.

Like this other day i noticed a homeless man sitting in front of the supermarket. He seemed to have a difficult time.

I went into the supermarket and collected some stuff to give to the homeless man, i wrapped it up neatly in some wrapping paper and went back outside

The homeless man a...

Looking forward to some comment karma

Because real joke is in the comments.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk, and an atheist walk into a restaurant

A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk, and an atheist walk into a restaurant.

After they put in their orders, the three strike up a conversation about what they believe awaits them in the afterlife.

The priest says, "I try to live my life according to God's word, so that I may go to the g...

Farming karma on my cake day: Two goldfish are in a tank, and one says to the other....

Do *you* know how to drive this thing?

What do you get if you tell the same joke every day for a month?

About 3K karma and a ban from r/jokes.

I stopped looking for my one missing karma point

Because what goes around comes around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karma is a bitch

Unless you’re on reddit.

I strongly believe in karma. What you do to others you'll get back eventually.

So the other week i was pouring ravioli down my neighbours letterbox. And I kept thinking - I wonder what thev've done to deserve this.

What’s the quickest way to earn karma using your sword-fighting abilities?

Riposte

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karma on reddit is like Viagra

It's satisfying to watch it go up.

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