UPJOKE
buddhismreincarnationhinduismdharmasamsarafatedestinytaoismconsciousnessrebirthimmortalitynirvanahappinessnecromancygod

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.

What's the best way to get karma on reddit

Idk but it's my cake day

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is karma like anal?

They both get you in the end.

I think Reddit should rename share to spreddit, delete to shreddit and karma to creddit, Yet they haven’t.

I don’t geddit

I'm a firm believer in karma...

All of the people I treated badly had it coming to them.

It’s my cake day but I don’t Reddit for karma. I Reddit for love.

So somebody please love me so I can get off this awful site.

Some people say that getting karma on Reddit is difficult.

But in reality it’s just a piece of cake.

Today is NOT my cake day

But when it comes I will NOT attempt to farm karma with it.


April fools.

Reddit should rename 'karma' to 'creddit', 'share' to 'spreddit' and 'delete' to 'shreddit'. If they do, they won't regreddit.

They probably won't, and i don't geddit.

I used to rip off famous comedians' jokes to post on Reddit for easy karma.

I still do, but I used to, too.

I need karma but here's a joke

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank

Cause they wash up on shore

Farming karma on my cake day: Two goldfish are in a tank, and one says to the other....

Do *you* know how to drive this thing?

What’s the most terrifying word in experimental nuclear physics?

Oops!

(Shameless karma farming on cake day)

A man needs a cake for his daughter's birthday.

He's not the richest of men, which puts the nicer cake shops out of the question. However, he's confident that he can figure something out.

Down the road from where he lives, an old Buddhist man owns a pastry store. He's a kind man, with reasonable prices and a perpetual smile on his face. Ho...

A wealthy, but stingy father was trying to put a birthday party together for his 19 y/o daughter.

He wanted the party to be extravagant, but wanted to spend as little money as possible. He had finished all of the other decorations, and he was left to work on the cake.

"Why not get it ordered from an upscale bakery?" his wife said.

So the father visited a ton of different bakeries a...

A fellow redditor asked where all my karma came frome

If you're good enough, it's honestly a piece of cake.

An old man dies and goes to heaven...

When he gets there, he is confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter.

He turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of cherries, frosting, and tiering at every station.

Finally, he sees someone wh...

I haven't seen this one here.

Some monks came down to a small village in need of carpentry. They offered to replace all the wooden pillars and support beams in all the buildings by themselves. When the villagers asked why they were being so generous, the head monk simply replied
"Isn't it obvious? We're reposting for karma."

I repost each Culture Club pun at least five times for maximum internet points

I suppose you could call me a karma karma karma karma karma comedian….

My friends keep asking me for advice..

They want to know how to get all the karma and awards.

I keep telling them it's a piece of cake

Marie-Antoinette heard of the starving karma farmers of reddit

“Let them have cake day”

Why did the fencer have so much karma on Reddit?

They knew how to riposte.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karma

Back in the mid-1960s, in an English country pub, a man is sat quietly enjoying a pint of Timothy Taylor Landlord (an excellent English ale). All of a sudden, a bunch of noisy yobs come into the pub and order lager. The mouthiest of the bunch walks across to the man and says, "Oi! You're sitting in ...

My friend wanted t know how I got all my karma

I replied "piece of cake"

How do you make karma on Reddit?

It's a piece of cake.





I know this is an old joke but this only happens once per year, I had to.

My life ambition is to have a lot of karma on Reddit.

Unfortunately, it is a hard job. I tried doing it alone first, leaving insightful comments and making quirky posts - but I had no luck. So I decided to ask for advice.

First, I went to a wise guru who had a thousand karma. And I asked him, "Oh wise guru, how do you have so much karma?"
...

Karma and Irony are best friends

They go roaming the city one night looking for a place to eat.
They spot a homeless man warming his hands by a fire, and karma steals a belt lying next to him, laughing.
Irony stays behind and hands the belt back before catching up with Karma.
They then walk into a bar, and Karma says “ou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit Karma is a lot like sex

It's easier to get if you lie about having cancer

Top Reddit posters should use their karma to help the environment.

They are already experts at recycling.

Someone told be that on your Cake Day, you get free Karma!

My Ma: I'm not buying you a car.

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'. Yet they haven't.

I don’t geddit.

Eddits:

Courtesy to The_maxi : I propose to add a function to remove awards and name it “regreddit“

Breaking News: Reddit has employed Radiohead as moderators

Or should they be called Karma Police?

A teacher goes for a long walk on the beach. She finds a shiny magic lamb, picks it up, and rubs it.

There is a puff of blue smoke and a genie pops out. “You have three wishes. I can give you anything in the world. If I fail, I must become your personal genie for eternity.”

The teacher thinks for a moment and says, “For my first wish, I want jewels. Silver, gold, platinum, whatever you have....

Why is it so hard for me to get karma?

Apparently for everyone else, it's a piece of cake.

(It is my understanding that you must post something on your cake day).

A Submarine Captain is walking down the street...

... when he sees a Buddhist monk fixing a fence.


"Hey mister, I'm having some trouble running my submarine. None of my crew like me. You're a wise man, what would you suggest?" asked the Captain.


"Make sure to switch everybody's positions very often" said the monk.
...

How does a redditor get karma when they don't deserve it?

Piece of ca.....I'm just kidding they ask what's a flat earther's favorite Christmas decoration?

Their s'no globe.

A girl walks up to her mother and asks, "Mommy, why am I named Clover?"

"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."

Then, her other daughter walks up. "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?"

"Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."

Finally, her son walks up to her. "Those names make sense, but why am I...

I’m sick and tired of all these people farming karma on their cake day.

Anyways, an upvote would be appreciated.

How does a redditor get karma on their cakeday?

They flag their post as nsfw.

This is a message for His Holiness the Dalai Lama: "Please decide my fate in future existences based on my past life behavior."

It's a ***karma***\-seeking post.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karma is a weird name...

They should rename "karma" to "creddit"

They should also rename the "share" button to "spreaddit"

They should then also rename the "delete" button to "shreddit"

But they don't, and I don't geddit



* Eddit: Wow, I did not expect to get gold for that one...

My girlfriend bought me the karma sutra

Which put me in a very awkward position

So I was asked by my friends about how to gain karma fast in reddit.

So I smiled and did this once in a year post.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit Karma is like women

At first, everyone seems to have it except you.

No one knows how they work but everyone want them.

It would look really hard to get it untill you finally get it unexpectedly, somehow.

A difference of opinion and you lose them.

But they give you a sense of value even after...

It's 2098, and a man is on r/Jokes.

The number of subscribed accounts has grown into the billions, but to the man's shock, the top-upvoted post of the day is simply the number "72,423".

When he goes into the comments section and asks what it is, he is promptly told that every joke has been told so many times, they've assigned n...

Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted.



Happy cake day to me :)

My buddy asked me how my post got so much karma

“Simple, piece of cake”

Last year, people told me to post anything here on my cake day to gain karma

But I didn't get many karma. The cake was a lie.

How do you earn karma on March 14 (3/14) when it isn’t your cake day?

Easy! Slice of pi.

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld



Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

A Redditor asks another Redditor what the best way to get karma is...

The experienced Redditor says: "It's a piece of cake."

I met a monk a year ago today, and as soon as we met, he began to pester me for secrets. I told him most, but there was one I only disclosed today. He asked how I got so much karma, and I told him...

Piece of cake

What’s the quickest way to earn karma using your sword-fighting abilities?

Riposte

Reddit should rename "share" to "spreddit", "delete" to "shreddit" and "karma" to "creddit".

Yet they haven't. I really don't geddit.

Edit: it's currently December 22nd of 2021 and I confess: this joke is a repost

... just like the hundreds of other copies of this

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

What's the difference between a good sound system and farming for upvotes?

One is a Harman Kardon and the other is a karma hard-on.

What's the difference between Bad Karma and Reddit Karma?

You get Bad Karma by stealing other people's belongings. You get Reddit Karma by stealing other people's jokes.

What do you call a wolf that is woke?

Awarewolf



(credit goes to my GF, who's apparently practicing her dad humor. *sigh* please, don't wreck my karma)

karma is like beautiful wife.

Both make you happy but all that you can do is stare at them.

I accidentally kicked my dog earlier and it bit me. My friend said "it's karma"

I said "if anything, it's more annoyed"

A mailman notices a mailbox with the flag up

So, he opens the box and picks up the letter. He glances at it briefly to make sure it is stamped, and then puts it in his bag with his other letters. When he gets back to his office, the letter goes in a big bin with all of the other out-going mail. He thinks nothing of it, and finishes his da...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.