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Hindus Jokes

Why are Hindus so non- confrontational?

Because they can’t have beef.

Hindus are so chilled out.

They never have beef with anyone.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Christians, Muslims, and Jews are always fighting,

but Hindus never have any beef.

It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

A Protestant missionary is in India trying to convert Hindus to Christianity

He teaches a Hindu man about Christianity and gives him a Bible.

He comes back a week later and sees a picture of the pope among all the other gods at the man's house.

"Why do you have a picture of the pope there?"

"Isn't he the reincarnation of Jesus?"

The missionary tol...

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Two Hindus were talking

Both had failed in college for the third time.

One says "This is too tough! I don't think I'll ever pass. Do you think we hould commit suicide?"

The other replies "Hell no! Are you crazy? We'll have to start over from kindergarten!"

Why are Hindus so friendly?

They don’t have beef with anyone.


Sorry if this terrible joke might be offensive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know what Christians, Hindus and Muslims agree on?

Chicken are Fucking delicious.

Hindus and vegans must be great friends

they never have beef

Kerala was the first indian state where Hindus got converted to Christianity

Saint Thomas, who was one of the disciples of Jesus Christ visited Kerala in 52 AD.

How did St Thomas convert Keralites to Christianity ?

St Thomas said, "Jesus healed the sick ".
People didn't believe .

He said, "Jesus died for you".
People said "Oh pl...

What do Hindus order at Mexican restaurants?

Chimichakras

What are Hindus' favorite flowers?

Reincarnations!

What kind of cow do Hindus living in Russia worship?

A moss cow.

[Racist Humor] What do you do in a crowd of Hindus?

Connect the Dots

Why was Gandhi an advocate of naan violence?

Because Hindus don't like beef

I feel like there should be a travel book for India called

“A definitive guide to India: The Hindus and the Hindont’s”

I'm Becoming a Hindu

Son : Dad I want to learn about Hinduism

Dad : So are you going to be praying to your mother now?

Son : What are you talking about...

Dad : Hindus worship cows right?

I’m a fat man starting to feel spiritual

As I looked into all the different religions, I found that that all of them, in one way or another, involved abstaining from food. Hindus, for example all give up beef. Mormons boycott alcohol and coffee. As a Catholic you can eat anything most of the year, but have to give up the foods like most fo...

How does Gordon Ramsay know that his steak is undercooked?

The Hindus are still worshipping it.

I shouldn't have said that...

I was explaining to my wife last night that Hindus believe when you die, you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

911?

Husband: "Hello, 911? Yes, there's this Hindu fellow who's been following my wife around for the past few hours, and it's starting to really creep us out. He just now got down on his knees and he's... praying, or something."

911 Operator: "Sir, calm down, there's no issue here- Hindus are wel...

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So, man dies and goes to heaven...

He's greeted by this one person. Person goes: 'Now that you're here, would you like to take a look around heaven?'

Man says: 'Yes, I would.'

So, the person shows our man around. There seem to be people grouped into sections. Our man asks: 'Who're them lot?'

Person showing him...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Proof that Santa doesn’t exists

There are about 2 billion children on earth. But Santa does not have to visit Muslims, Hindus, Jews or Buddhists, which reduces the number to 15% or 378 million. Thus, with a world average of 3.5 children per household, there are 108 million households to visit if we can assume that there are at le...

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