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Healthy Food Jokes

I am starting my new venture, a startup healthy food delivery app that will help all to reduce weight dramatically!...

Basically it works as follows: You place your order, and I don't deliver the food at all.

The best part about working out and eating healthy food:

Eventually you'll be dead and won't have to do this anymore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler hires a new cook

Before taking up the job he is told there are 2 main requirements - Making good healthy food for the dictator and never interfering in his policies.

On his first day he finds out about all of Hitler's preferences, likes and dislikes. With all of that in mind he makes everything as expected e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young couple goes to the doctor...

“Doctor, we’ve tried everything. We eat only healthy food. We don’t drink or do drugs. We tried every medicine. We keep trying and trying, but still, we can’t have any children. Please, help us!”

Doctor: “Guys… Are you fucking kidding me?”

TV crew decides to visit a hundred years old man living alone in a cabin in the woods

When they go there they see he is chopping wood and carrying it all by himself. He is active and healthy and has a body of a forty year old man.

They ask him "What is your secret?" and the old man tells them a story:

"Seventy years ago, there was a huge blizzard that came out of nowher...

True story...

My 4 year old nephew and his family came to visit the other day. He was carrying a bag of chips and asked if I wanted some. I told him, "No, those are bad for you."

He looked at me so confused and then asked, "Why?" I told him they would make him fat and if he ever wanted to be strong he wo...

How to get there faster

The couple was 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their pl...

A man is having problems attracting women, but he's not sure why

**A man is having problems attracting women, but he's not sure why**. The man wonders if he might have a *mental sickness*, so he goes to the clinic to see *a specialist*. While he checks in at the counter, the receptionist warns him, "The specialist has a **thick accent**, but don't worry - *his ...

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