Hang Up Jokes - 9 Hilarious Hang Up Jokes

My neighbour always seems to hang up his laundry on sunny days, but never on rainy days.

One day I decided to ask him how he always knew which days to hang his laundry.

"Well," he explained, "if I wake up and my wife is lying on her side, I know it's going to rain and I shouldn't hang my laundry. If I wake up and she's lying on her front, I know it's not going to rain and I shoul...

Why did Minnie hang up the phone on Mickey?

She was feeling Goofy at the time

How many Redditors does it take to successfully hang up a sign?

Infinite, they’ll never stop reposting it.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

So I told my girlfriend to hang up...

Her: You hang up first!

Me: No, you hang up!

Her: Stop it! You hang up!

Me: Wait, did you even bring the second rope for me?

Her: Oh.

It was a sad funeral.

Hello and Welcome to the mental health hotline...

If you are obsessive-compulsive,
press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent,
please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities,
press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace ...

Late call to the vet

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbours' male dog while the neighbours were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, r...

I was on hold with the IRS when an automated voice said, "Please don't hang up. Your call is important to us."

That's all. That's the whole joke.

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes.

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It's Eric. I'm on the train".

"Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting". "No, honey, not with that blond...

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