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Offences Jokes

A police sergeant asks the new constable to see him in his office.

"Alright constable," said the sergeant. "Can you please explain to me why you have not booked any traffic offences in the two weeks since you have been here?"

"Well you see sir, every time I pull up a car, no matter the offence, I barely finish introducing myself before they take off."
...

A woman is in court..

A woman is in court charged with beating her husband to death with his guitars.
As she stands there, the judge is looking over her offences and asks;

First offender?

The woman replies 'No, first a Gibson then a Fender'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mummy or daddy?

A timid petty criminal gets sent to prison for repeat offences. When he arrives at his cell he is confronted by his new cellmate, a huge tattooed maniac of a man. Mr maniac doesnt say a word until the cell door slams shut and then he speaks.

'Tonight we are going to play Mummys and Daddys. Yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my favorite jokes..

I heard this joke on a mission trip in 9th grade. I still laugh about it to this day.

A roman, an american, and a jewish man all died yesterday. They were immediately sent to hell because they had commited some pretty daunting offences in their lives. The roman was a lustful sex offender, th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once a man named Juan...

Juan was the most charismatic person around, and because of this he made a brilliant teacher. All of his students loved him, and Juan had helped their grades go up by at least 10%. So of course, when the principal at the time resigned Juan's pupils pushed him to become the next principal and so he d...

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