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Hairs Jokes

Pulled out a couple of nose hairs to see if it hurts.

Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the train, it seems fcuking painful.

Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmothe...

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A little lad asks his mother why she has so many grey hairs.

"It's because you are so naughty" she tells him.

"Well,..." he replies, "...having seen grandma, you must have been a right twat."

Why are pubic hairs curly?

So they don't poke you in the eye.

Splitting hairs.

A guy goes downtown to cut his hair, but the place is packed.

Surprisingly he finds his friend waiting outside the venue. "I thought you were a vegan!" He says.

"I am, what's so astonishing?" The friend responded.

"I never thought to find you at a barber's queu!"

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I saw a homeless man with a sign that read “$1 for a dirty joke”

Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Look there, you can see a Rooster right? How many legs does it have?"

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Correct, now how many wings does this Rooster have?”

Me: “Two?”

Homeless man: “Right...

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Nose hairs must be the longest hairs on the human body.

Every time I pull one it makes my arse hole twitch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do girlfriends and ass hairs have in common?

They never let shit go.

The day I found my first gray hairs...

I thought I'd dye!

I asked this lady if I could touch her hair

She said yes, so I ran my finger across her lip and that's how the fight started.

Curly hairs

I was a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point.
The question was, where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, it's Africa .

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A wife was in bed, naked with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.”

The husband lurched into the bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.

He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”

“You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wi...

A man was arrested for stealing cat hairs to make whoopee cushions.

This was a criminal offense in Florida. He was brought before a judge who was a notorious cat lover. The jury consisted of only elderly spinsters. The man's lawyer requested for a different judge and jury, but his request was rejected. The court found the man "extremely guilty and a possible dog lov...

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Life is like ass hair

Short and full of shit

I hate ingrown hairs...

They really get under my skin

My hairs been getting long lately, my family keeps telling me to cut it, but I dont know...

Its kinda been growing on me

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Tonks: Remus, I swear, I have no idea how those dog hairs got there...

Remus: Are you fucking Sirius?!

Bath night

A couple take in a beautiful young lady as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath but if she wanted to she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.......

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said...

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1 dollar for dirty joke

I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.” Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: “Alright sir whats your name?

Me: “asstasticbum”

Homeless man: “So asstasticbum, the...

white haired mum

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?...

I once lied in biology class and told everyone I could touch the tiny hairs in my nose - They all laughed.

I'd never felt cilia.

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