UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I saw a job advertised for a fanny waxers assistant. Job includes removing ladies panties and prepare for waxing and rub oil in after waxing.

When I asked about the job they said I had to go to Cornwall. I said is that where the job is? No they said, that's where the back of the fucking queue is!!"

Bikini Waxing

What a rip off.

Bought my wife a cheap waxing.

She said it was a rip-off.

Waxing

Q: Why did the woman refuse to pay for her Brazilian waxing?
A: Because it was a total rip-off.

I just spent a hours waxing my car

I’m still not quite sure how it gets so hairy.

A priest goes to the barbershop and asks how much a trim would cost.

The barber answers, "oh, you're a holy man, I can't charge anything." He gives the priest a trim, the priest thanks him, and leaves. The next day, the barber finds some gold coins on his doorstep.

After a few weeks, an imam comes to the shop. He asks the barber how much it would cost for a be...

I’ve started a waxing/hair removal business, and I have decided to only take female clients for the time being.

I don’t want to go nuts right away.

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. After a few drinks, he begins waxing philosopical. "You know, sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever," he says to the bartender. "Yes," the bartender agrees. "We call those people cop...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Dave Joke

This guy walks into a bar to get some drinks. The bar tender named Dave walks up to him and says, "You look happy today, what happened?" The guy says, "Well Dave, I was waxing my boat, just waxing and waxing, and this brunette with tits out to here!" the guy gestures a B cup, "walks up to me and s...

How do we know the moon is hairless?

The moon spends half the month waxing!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Native American Boy Walks into His Family Tipi

The boy looks at his father as he has grown curious in life lately and asks him,

"Dad, why is your name rising sun?"

The boys father looks at him and says,

"Well son, when i was born your grandparents went outside with me and that's the first thing they saw, the rising sun."
...

Now that I am vaccinated I can joke about Covid

Here are a few.

———————

Day 251 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

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Nail salons, hair salons, waxing centres and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there!

———————

What’s the best way...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Different sayings same thing

1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows.

2. DJ the VJ.

3. Dopamine farming.

4. Double clicking your mouse.

 5. Badgering the witness.

6. Summoning the semen demon.

7. Blood bending.

8. Shaking hands with the unemployed.

9. Making Jesus ...

Joke my math professor told me today.

A man and his wife are having trouble with their marriage. They fight all the time and they have been continually becoming less physical. The man decides to visit his pastor on the subject. To which the minister proclaims, "You have to do something nice to attract her." The man responds, "Are you su...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave walks into his local pub...

...and sees Bob sitting at the bar, grinning from ear to ear.

Dave goes up to Bob and says, “Oy, Bob, what you grinning about there?” Bob replies, “Oh, Dave! Well, I was out there yesterday just waxing my boat and up walks this blonde with the most amazing tits! I start up a conversation and...

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