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Hairline Jokes

Your hairline is so far back

Rosa parks don't wanna sit there.

The devil has started to get really self conscious about his receding hairline and is planning to take out his anger on the humans if he cant find a solution.....

There's going to be hell toupee

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A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...
AI Image Generator

My hairline is like my t-shirt

A deep-v and not helping me look any younger.

What's worse than a receding hairline?

An advancing hairline

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MEN'S HELP LINE - Letter of the Month

Hi John,

I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes h...

My friend keeps thinking that he has a receding hairline

I told him it's all in his head

One of my oldest friends is my receding hairline...

We go way back.

(real-life joke) My 5-year-old daughter and I were playing with her dolls...

Having a great time cooking a great meal in imagination-land (toy room) when things got real.

Daughter - "Hey Dad, Let's throw the old food in the field to feed the animals."

Me - "Good idea, that would be nice so they get some food too."

Daughter - *throws a few pieces of fake...

My pet rock has a receding hairline

He’s a little boulder

What do you call 20 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hairline.

Two older male dolphins notice their hairlines are starting to recede.

Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...

Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.

In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his bud...

I love these definitions!

\-- Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.



\-- Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.



\-- Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.



\-- Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. ...

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The New Gynecologist

One morning, it's time for Karen's yearly checkup on her "lady parts." She drives to the Gynecologist, is shown into an examination room, and prepares for the exam. To her mild upset, her usual Doctor isn't there.

"What happened to Dr. Michaels?"

"I'm sorry to tell you this, Mrs. Lewis...

Heavy Petting Zoo

Wife comes home to hearing disturbing squealing noises from the upstairs bedroom. She hesitates for a minute as her mind jumps to the very worst horrific possibility of her already shattered excuse of a marriage; then proceeds to venture up the stairs closer and closer to the sloppy wet splashing an...

How do lice fly home for Christmas?

American Hairlines

A bald man cracked his skull.

His diagnosis: a receding hairline fracture.

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Hannibal Lecter escapes his prison, and begins a cannibalistic killing spree.

Bodies turn up all over the city, mutilated and butchered like livestock. The livers are missing from the bodies, as is muscle from the shoulders, legs and back, the tongues, a variety of human flesh all carved out and eaten by Lecter after killing his victims.

Not only that, but he escapes t...

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Lebron's life is like one big compass...

He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West.

What did one wig ask the other wig before going to a vacation?

With which hairline are you flying with?

So a pair of cannibals are sitting down to a nice meal...

...of Jerry Seinfeld.

A while into the meal, one of the cannibals says,

"I'm going for the forehead, do you want any?" as he cuts a slice from the front of Jerry's scalp. The other cannibal declines, shaking his head and saying,

"What's the deal with hairline food?"

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Cheating wife

Guys,

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her.

Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a go...

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