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I popped into Lowe's today to get some grass seed for my yard.

Me: I'm looking for some grass seed but I want something that's easy to maintain.

Employee: Oh then you will want our new brand of emo grass.

Me: What's so special about emo grass?

Employee: there's no upkeep, it cuts itself.

I bought some of that emo grass seed, it's brilliant.

The grass cuts itself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A general store owner needs some help in sales

So he hires a young farm hand, and explains to him on his first day- "Ya gotta understand the up sell kid" The kid shakes his head, listening intently.

"The next customer that comes in, I'll demonstrate how it's done okay?" again the kid nods.

Just then, a customer walks in, and asks w...

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I use to work for a hardware store.

I was being trained by this older gentlemen and he was telling me that the job was all about the up sale. I told me to watch as he went up to someone buying grass seed.

"You should buy this new lawn mower too. You don't want to be cutting your nice new grass with an old lawnmower."

So...

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A 16 year old boy gets a new job in a big wholesale store.

On his first day of work the manager takes him to one side and tells him to watch what he does with the next customer who walks in. A man comes over and asks if they sell grass seeds. The manager replies “We do sir yes” and then comes back with the seeds. He then says “And how long would you like yo...

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A lad goes for a job in Homebase.

Boss says "let me show you how its done."....... A customer walks in & asks for a packet of grass seed, the boss says "sir, when the grass grows you'll need shears, and after that you'll need a lawn mower." Customer says, "I never thought of that" & leaves having spent £200. "That's how its ...

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Just heard this joke from my dad: A newly hired salesman in a department store is being taught by his manager how to handle sales...

The manager tells him that he'll help the first customer, and show him how to make the most of a sales opportunity, and then he'll let him try.

A customer walks in, so the manager approaches him and says: "Good evening, sir! How may I help you?"

"I'd like to buy some grass seeds.", say...

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Cuttin the grass

A young man is walking past a general store and sees a "help wanted" sign. He goes in and applies for the job. As the shop owner has not had much luck finding a suitable employee he decides to give the young man a shot.

A customer walks in and the shop owner says watch me and do what i do. He...

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