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Savannah Jokes

Why should you never play games in the Savannah?

Because the odds are, you’ll play a Cheetah and his friend who won’t stop Lion.

Why did the lion cross the savannah?

To get to the other pride.

The Lion with Christian feelings

Once upon a time... there was a missionary walking along the savannah when he suddenly encountered himself with a very hungry lion.

Scared to death, the missionary went down on knees and prayed "Oh dear Lord, please come down and give christian feelings to this poor criature".

After on...

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A series of jokes because I never see the full set

Why are elephants so good at hiding in trees?

Because you never see them.

How do they hide in cherry trees?

They paint their balls red and climb up

What's the loudest sound in the Savannah?

A giraffe eating cherries.

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"So, how was your holiday in Africa?"

"Don't remind me," says the other, "I very nearly got myself killed!"



"Go on, what happened?" he asks.



"Well, I was hiking in the savannah when a lion appeared out of the blue and started chasing me. I ran for my life, but the lion kept getting closer and then just as i...

A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in Africa

They drive out on the savannah in their jeep, stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.

The biologist says, "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle, a white zebra! There are white zebra's! We'll be famous!"

The statistician explains, "It's not significant. We ...

Wild Life

A bear, a lion and a bat meet up. The bear says, "If I roar in the forests of North America, the entire forest is shivering with fear." The lion says, "And if I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is afraid of me."

"Big deal!'' says the bat. "All I have to do is cough, an...

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The greyhound ride

One of my favorites from my country, not sure if I have heard it in the US, so I adapted the cities:

A man needs to take a greyhound from miami to savannah. The night before he goes out partying and arrives dead tired to the bus station. He tells the driver he’s going to fall asleep but to pl...

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A couple at the doctors and the doctor tell the woman she’s pregnant...

... the man says “there’s just no way we always use protection without fail every single time we have sex”

The doctor says, sir, let me tell you a story;
There once was a hunter who took his gun with him everywhere he went, he was never without his gun. One day he accidentally picked up h...

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A lion was chasing Uncle in Africa

A Uncle was trying to impress his nephew

Uncle: You know, when I was traveling in African Savannah alone, I went close to a sleeping lion to photograph him.

Nephew: What happened next?

Uncle: The lion suddenly wakes up, and start chasing me.

Nephew: Wow, what happened ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!

Why did the Mormon cross the aisle?

To get to the other bride!

Why did the surfer cross the beach?

To get to the other tide!

Why did the lion cross the savannah?

cuz there's a FUCKING DENTIST WITH A BOW AND ARROW, RUN CECIL RUN!!

Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?

(So they land softer when they're sky diving?) No, because white ones scuff up too easily.

\---

Why shouldn't you go out in the savannah between 4pm and 6pm?
\--That's when the elephants go sky-diving

\---

Why do elephants live in herds?
\---To get the group dis...

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A young boy is in need of some money. (Original)

He catches word of an alien planet with riches on it, so he goes there to find work. The old alien farmer there meets him.

"Ah, come for riches, eh, boy? Well, not to worry. This here is where you'll be a-workin." The old man says, giving the boy a toothy smile.

The man is pointing t...

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The time my grandpa went to Africa

One day I was sitting with my grandpa watching TV. As it happened we were watching the Discovery channel when a show about Africa came on.


"Hmph, Africa... I've been there." My grandpa said.


"Really?" I asked, "I never knew you went to Africa grandpa, when was this?"

...

How to catch an Elephant.

You go out to the African Savannah, looking to catch an elephant. How do you do it? Well, it's very simple.

You go out to the middle of the plains, and take a shovel, and as much paper and paper products as you can bring out there. Now, it might take a while to dig a hole big enough, but it'...

The Lion Hunter

There was once a world-famous hunter who was about to retire. He had bagged all of the world's most famous big game, except a lion. He had made a few trips to Africa, but each time, he had never been fortunate enough to see one. So he started planning one final safari, and he decided he was going to...

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